† Unconciously became a burden to somebody important †

Its been few months since i've decided not to give up..
But now the love that i once hold on tight have became a burden to the person..
The person whom i treated as important as my own life...
Now... knowing that the burden i've been for her all this while..
The heart pains...
The feeling of being your love'd one's burden...
This truely sucks..
Shall i give up? or i should hold on the love i have for her..
Because i still do love her... deeply..

All the thinking end up to me is that...
If I'd question GOD... I might ask...
Why do GOD give me the ability to foresee all types of possible future?
Why do GOD give me the ability to be able to connect to the spirit world?
If i were without these ability... wont she be more comfortable when she's with me?
I guess its not just that bah..

Including now her list in her mind is career & studies...
no more love.. well i respect that bah..
Allow me to reduce all types of burden that i've been creating for her then..
Its the most least i can do for her..
1stly she never accepts any helps..
She's face all types of hardship by herself..
She's been in the market now...
She can choose what type of guys she likes now..coz her price aint low..
I just cant hold her too tight then.. let her choose..
Respect her choice...
I know the chances of choosing me if i do so will be 0.000000001% but..
Should be worth while doing...
Being able to help her to reach the ladder of success..
Any type of sacrifices will be perfectly ok...
Still i hope she'll be with me in the future.... thats all i can say for now...

Since the decision being made...
I've successfully made her ignore me d..
I'll just let it be...
By making her ignoring me should be able to reduce alot of burden ady bah..
Hehe a capricorn really is able to make everything work according to his plan...
But then at the same time... My heart aches...
Dint know why... maybe if i do so... i'll lose her in the future..
Well its her choice not mine.
She already voice up she want to be free...
I'll give her freedom alright...
I'll just be there doing nothing..
With this no more burden, she can focus more yet, she's being able to be free...
Suits her right?

The hurt that i am facing... i've faced them b4...
No big deal... just another failure i suppose?
But then why is that everytime i'd love someone truely...
GOD will just create so much barriers for me to face?
To give me a test on my love life?
TO make our bonds together much more stronger?
Or.. just simply dint want me to fall in love?

PS: Its an answer that i will get after i die bah... hehe

Atleast for now... lets do my best to reduce every possible burden that once i've cause her to have in the past...

† Man Zai †