† Trying to get an ordinary love while fighting for an extraordinary income †

Well all i wanted and i am still praying for...
I thank god for giving me such a great lover...
She's special, kind, and most important she's the one that i fell for...

For now its been sometimes since I've tried to avoid her or is it she's been avoiding me...
I don't know..
But then i just hope that;
My love will be like both loving each other..
Thinking of another when we are tired or doing nothing..
Or just simply loving them with the heart of prepared to help them anytime?

Maybe i am stubborn but I guess the way i keep on telling her i love her have cause her alot of burden...
Actually after 1 night of thinking I've realized...
Even if i loved her its not necessary to tell her...
By telling her will only making her think more...
The burden she once told me will hold her back more...

So... for now... i can't let go of this love..
I don't know how long i can hold it but.. at least after her birthday i hope..
Its quite tiring to love a person when they dint want you to love...
But then i can say should be the last 1 ady bah..
If she'd accept me before i give up,
Then we might just go on in the future..
If she'd rejected on the day she fell in love with another guy then...
I'll just wait until another (one of the 200k person)to pass by...this time..
I will CONFIRM (where i wont put any feelings in 1st) not like i am with current one...
Then until confirm she want 4ever kinda stuff where we want to settle down no more fooling around..
That's what i wanted bah... simple easy and lovely.. which will last at least until i die?

For now i will focus on my career building bah...
Need to attend more and more appointments...working hard
Although hoped to have a person behind me providing some moral support..
A simple voice of the loved ones shall bring tons of energy to me i guess..

Although frankly to tell when u cant be with your loved ones...
Or being rejected is kinda hurt but... i guess
I've got used to it already...
The heart full of scars...
The love which once empty now filled..
Which is also one of my false move i guess..

But is loving a person a wrong thing to do?(Excellent question but who to answer?)
I was once told...
"Everyone in this world deserve the love inside your heart" what does that mean?
I got the meaning when i started to change myself...
Treating everyone similar to others...
The word i understand is that not only the 1 i fell for deserve all my love...
Even my friends and family should deserve them too..

We cant love if we keep on judging right? We cant learn if we don't make mistake...
All of these feelings is just something inside me...
In order to master it...
The changes which i once feared of...
Lots of books helped me on self development...
Thanks to all the authors...

My target is to make my group repeating sales within 4 months time where it allows me to...
earn RM5k per months...constantly...
Then will go for 20k after that per month... slowly increase..

Hit it then i will enjoy for awhile...
BALI Island HERE I COME!!!!!!!!
STAR WALK i will be there...
Penang Bridge RUN WA LAI LIAO!!
ALL CHIONG ARH!!!!!!!!
Nearly forgotten... Mr Kim's work i am coming also...

† Man Zai †