Well Done Joel.. New year has arrived...
Its the 1st Year me Starting as a Diabetic Patient Type 2.
And its been diff 2 month since I've updated my blog..

Well 1 thing that Made my YEAR 2012 Full of Happiness... Is the Present I Receive From a Person whom I've been waiting for an answer(well which means we're just Friends now)....

Frankly to say.. I mean just a word in my mind, Why did u purposely gave me such an Surprise? I was SOo Damn Happy as if I would Really SHOUT out LOUD that day..
I thought I was DREAMING... lolx Well On end of December, the only person who gave me a Birthday PRESENT for 2012 with a surprise in it...

Hmmm, Well I really wonder now if you really have feelings for me.. or you just treat me as a friend..
I... well have been 暗恋 situation for like the past few years..(few as in above 3)..lost track.. but still..
If u dint sent me the present.. I would just continue do what I did for the past few years...

Frankly to say I just have the urge to ask u “我们交往吧”.... LOL but in reality I might not have the courage since that day(although i forgot when was it) but I do still remember u telling me..

"When I want a GUY(or)Boyfriend, I'll look for one" which was told to me 1 year ago...

Since then I never even dare to nag or appear in ur msg.. Because I know.. 80% of the messages that I text you never really have a reply due to *what kind of msg are u sending me* in ur mind..

Well I cant just Text u "I Love You" just like that can I?... LOL

So I ended up text you things like "Good Morning" or "How's Life in KL"
Well I really do hope that u would waste some money just to reply i'm fine or Good morning and stuff.. But for you, I will think that its better Not to reply.. so you can save more money on phone bills.. hehe..

Well its been few years I've got no replies most of the time that I did not give up but stop bugging your phone.. I'm afraid that one fine day u may dislike me or hate me for being "Annoying"..

So Now my life is to keep my body in shape and work hard for what i've aim for.. minimum a house to stay... which is another 2 years down the road.. and also a good income... for now its like reduced to 2k+ per month which suck up most of the time..

I need more new things to improve my income.. and I really cant wait to meet her with an excuse(Lets go discuss about the business that u want to talk to me) haha
Well I do hope it works but I'm just afraid that she's too busy while she's in Penang which most of the time she hang out with her 姐妹 or family instead of looking for me...

Well this kind of situation I'll just focus on my work.. but It troubles me and made me shed tears during driving alone going back home(during that period sometimes when I tot of me being single or.. I don't even know why) I shed tears .

Well then back to the Year of Dragon.. I'm a DRAGON but I'll work harder just to improve my life...

Target SET Just let things Happen.. like a Padre once told me,
Pray, Hope and don't Worry..^.^

For now Savings will help a lot in years to come...
And 1 more thing
I love you..
*To my Family, Friends, blog walker and most especially her)

Its been 4 months

So.. i did not realize how fast time travel..
4 months have passed since i knew i have Diabetic..
Was a shock at 1st but thanks to it i am now under (overweight List) no longer Obesity.

Now my Weight is averagely around 94kg to 96 kg..
Well also thanks to it now i know where my limit is and where i can boost more..^.^
Thank god for blessing me all this kind of things even thou i'm in a very serious situation thou..
My family members supported me MOST.. and also Friends(close ones)..

Within this period i learn alot about health and food consumption which will cause what kind of illness.

But then my target.. is now Lacking alot.. from what I set this year...
I've grown thinner now.. well i still feel that i'm fat BTW..
But then alot of friends whom i did not meet up for longer then 3 months all was kinda shocked when they saw me.^.^
Happy for that thou..
Well i'm glad that now i dont know why but i feel like to let go all things and just live my life to the max..

The things i planned seems changed alot in the schedule.. Time.. and incident..
Just few months have change my life totally..^.^ should i be happy or sad? i dono..
Coz now i can see no future in me.. due to" ahem.. well i might collapse anytime any moment.."
That's diabetic.. u wont know when or what its attacking but it will one fine day..

From now on.. I have new goals..
Food Consumption + Medication must check daily..
Sugar level in blood must check daily..
Healthy Lifestyle is already a MUST..
Income must grow have to make new moves..
Time flies so.. b4 i'm 25 i have to finish the task and continue with my degree and Masters Degree...
used up more then 3 months to recover from the hospital medication..

Now is time to FIGHT!!
btw.. Why am i still single?... LOL
Alot of people dont believe me=.=
But I am.. I'm not seeing any girls now.. just focusing on work.. WTF..
I should Balance my life up.. LOL.. Time is short!!

Well I better get to bed now.. TMR morning Hiking!! hope can capture some pictures but i dont bring my phone to hike all the time..^.^ so.. hehe..
Nitez all thanks for viewing my blog..

Hi People's Lets Smile More^.^

When time pass by.. i realize alot..
not to say I'm being mature or something,
Its just that now I realize how important it is even if you're not a somebody..
The existence of everyone is important..
by just living all life to the max will show alot of difference in the society..

For me I've learn how to live without her being around..
Although i got to admit i cant simply let go.. and i know alot of Guys still Tackling her..
I felt afraid of one fine day she'll tell me that she's in a relationship..
Today i saw another guy waiting for answer..
Well its obvious..

If she comes back for Christmas..
I'll sent her one last present..
In it will be my last invitation..
I will just accept the fact that she's not into me and move on if she rejects,
I'll also let things be and move on in my life if she dint give in any answers..
But if she wants me to wait i'll be here Penang waiting(while fighting for my career)

Its true that we must have a balance..
I felt one thing from the lesson thought via Experience..
If I have my career and Money..
but I don't have another half to spend with..
whats the purpose of having it at the 1st place?

So I need to balance up everything now..
If not I'm afraid I might not be able to get married b4 age of 30.
I'm afraid of Loneliness as others does so..
Hmmm I BET I must continue save money to create more business opportunity in life now..
Focus on business 1st Time will come if it is mine.
I must take action by then..^.^
Consequences, I will accept it and move on^.^..

我喜歡你、但我不敢愛你

我喜歡你，那我可以憑一時的衝動為你做好多好多的事，不計較你是否喜歡我；

但我不敢愛你，因為如果愛你，我會期望你為我做同樣的事，時間久了我會不平衡。


我喜歡你，那我可以傻傻地喜歡著你；

但我不敢愛你，因為我認為愛，應該是相互的。


我喜歡你，那我可以一直很激情地瘋狂地；

但我不敢愛你，因為愛太理智，我總會在對比中迷失自己。


我喜歡你，那我可以默默地，偶爾跳出來嚇你一跳；

但我不敢愛你，因為愛太需要一直好好表現，永遠拴住你的心，我暫時還沒有那個自信。


我喜歡你，所以我才會那麼多那麼多看似瘋狂而不靠譜的事情；

但我不敢愛你，因為你的愛太難得到，我想留下的是我一心一意喜歡你的回憶。


我喜歡你，所以我才會默默地不做聲，期待你的音信；

但我不敢愛你，因為愛的要求總是太多，我沒有資格要求什麼。


我喜歡你，所以我才想貼近你的生活；

但我不敢愛你，因為你似乎沒有想要瞭解我。


我喜歡你，才會告訴自己要高貴一些；

但我不敢愛你，因為我不想讓自己變得卑微。

180Degree Change in My Life..

Its been awhile since i've been blogging again, i'm back..^.^

Well this time i got this to share with you all... A thing that changed my life 180 Degree..


Cool Right? Well I Didn't expect it to be this way either..

It all start when i went to Langkawi... I took alcohol like drinking water..

Its been awhile since i've enjoyed so much Alcohol but.. It was a beginning of a Nightmare to me..

After a week the effect start to take place... My liver and Gall Bladder went outbound but i dint realize.. i still thought it was gastric, so.. took a couple of injection and gastric med It was of no help and i manage to hold it for 1 week before i went into hospital to check it out whats wrong...

After 2 days suffering pain and egony in hospital i found out that my gall bladder was stuck by a stone in it.. and My liver was infected and grew until 16CM long.. which is quite unbelievable..

SHOCKING to found out this but i got alot of antibody and injection to cure it and manage to avoid operation...

Now the best part that change my life is this..

Well On the 5th day after they made alot of test on me.. They found out something which i was SHOCKED to hear from them.. I'm now a Diabetic Patient..

SHOCKING RIGHT?!! lolx I was shocked at 1st.. but from discharge until now its been 2 weeks...
I'm getting use to all the changes.. Starting from Food to Lifestyle to activities.. All have changed..

I told myself NEVER regret on what i do in the past, Endure and Learn From it, Face the facts in the Present, Future will come when it should be there..

Now i really learn how to live healthier, but sadly i cant take all those delicious foods anymore..
Water wize.. i bet Plain water will be with me until the day i pass away..
Its a huge change including now my wieght.. its leaving me .. soo fast.. i cant believe i can have such a nice body shape lately..

Should i THanks god for all this blessings? Continue my Super Duper positive thinking? or should i just ....

Well I've already chose a path, I Thank Dear Lord Jesus, Almighty Father who bless me this. Everything happen for a reason in Life. I know now. Thanks for teaching me this way GOD.

Well what really worries and disturbs my feelings lately is that.. I don't know weather i'm still qualify to date a girl whom i love (1 sided) since I last broke up(2yrs and 3 month ago).. Her name is Carmen,Y.
(Cant put her full name later she know..)

Well frankly to say i was never being able to let her go since... (should be 4 years ago already..) when we 1st Met in a class in SEGi..

But now thinking back, she had such a strong family and soo many admirer looking forward to date her.. and she's now living her life in KL(Kuala Lumpur). I'm now in Penang...

So.. i was going to date her out during her holiday in Penang u know? (oMG i feel like talking to a Blog while i write this) .. but then now.. think of it. i'm afraid that she'll tell me not to... like she use to tell me back then(she would not want to have Boyfriend but when she wants she'll go look for it)
That's when i told her (When you want to look for Boyfriend, Please put me on the list)

Hahax stupid me. now i do wish she'd take me OFF the list... I'm no longer in a healthy condition to be with her anymore.. i might make her worry MORE(like when i went into hospital.. she WORRIED) i was like OMG why did i make her worry...

She might still not know that i have Diabetic.. so i'm so confused lately. I really do hope some1 can consult me.. give me advise on what i really should do.....

Lately i've been working real hard despite all the pain that my body have been causing me..
I want to forget about Love.. I loved a person for soo long.. am i stupid?......

I dont know now..

Thanks to blogging i can like type out what that is corrupting in my mind.. But then I hope this will not make me regret, I'll continue my work.. Date her as plan.. But i might not express myself to her.. i'm afraid she might get into a hard position where she'd afraid to lose a friend (if she say no) and if she loves me then everything will go well but we are separated from KL to Penang.. that might cause a problem for her.. i guess its not a good time to do that.. So...

Its Decided then.. (well frankly to say she might not even agree to come out with me on a date) so..
Lets not put so high hope since she's busy on her studies.. let her be.. She'll be fine cause i Believe in her....

Well Lets talk back to my life now.. 180degree change..
I have to work out every morning.. work at noon and night.. so i'll be healthy i hope..
Its time to bed now it took me 30 minutes just to put out all my crap that's in my head...

PS: Dear God, Please don't Let Carmen.Y Found out about this Blog page, and pray hard for her not to stress herself too much, She can make it through her test. I believe in it she will..^.^
Bless her to be healthy too..^.^

Amen.
Nights all and thanks for those who's been viewing my blog..^.^ Please continue support me.. Advise me if can i'm now still struggling.. did i make the right choice?.. i'm still confused but i'll go with what i got if no other option came out which is better.. Nightzz. Sweet dreams..

Its goin to be end of June now..

Well tonight i was suppose to be happy...
But then Love kinda strike me big time.. I'm insomnia again..

What a great day with excellent sales... And I'm goin to start a new business soon.. real soon..
Just that i wonder what kind of love will i really have?(as in relationship ones)..

Well I've been in love with a girl for the past 2 years.. but never tell her b4..
(Or maybe i did...) well she's in KL now so.. I'm so confused..

I felt like she might move on.. got a new life new challenge..
yet here I'm in Penang.. wondering how to tell her.. aint i stupid?....

Well i am thinking about something when this feeling which appeared few times b4..
It just pop out from nowhere.. now i'm having a dilemma thinking of what can i do..

Frankly to say nothing much..(rationally) but i wanted to do something for her this year... as a present.. ended up she told me (Don't want la simply give me chocs can d) LOL.. what a thing..

Well its 2.30am now what can i do.. can i just stop the time and space so i can rearrange all things out? i don't know.. I've been focusing on business and work for like 2 years now.. i wonder sometimes where am i now...????

I'm now like in a crossroad... but this time.. there are like 1 million path in front of me...
God please help me.........

Things that i've done past few weeks..

Its been weeks since i've updated my blog...

Well during the past holiday(Wednesday) I've successfully gathered several of my primary buddy's to join me go Penang Hill... although some did not make it but.. hope they'll make it on the BIG MOVE...

These are some photos to share with..

The View below Penang Hill..

The Station have been(ahem) Upgraded...

It took us less then 15 mins just to reach from bottom to top..(its efficient i can say) but i still prefer the slow ones where we can enjoy the view's during the ride up & down.

I was surprised that they have the golf course car.. its provided for the visitors to end their visit without walking alot...
AKA lazy Tourists.

This is the view(kinda dark cause when we reach its about to rain d)

This is the (96KG) me on top of the 1st generation funicular cable car..

The Ice Kacang that we have after the Fearful visit of a (haunted mansion) In Penang Hill..
Luckily we made it out safely..

Something that interest me.. Looks Similar to tattoo..
BUT its Henna(Indian Traditional Body Art)
well..
at first i was shocked that the Indian culture would Adopt such a (Fashion) Design
But they have improve..
this show's that time have improve not only technology,
but also human's brain...

Well after that i went to work and during night time ..well i did something out of my control..
Help-ed my friend in his assignment i guess... but i'm in his movie..(Lame but) haha i was shocked to say ok when he asked..

Hope to see the video when he's done with it..
Well after all these days until Monday i fell ill.. very ill for the pass 2 days i was in High fever 39 Degree Cels...
But i still have to work.. so eventually i dint even go and ask her about meds that the docts gave me i just take la... i'm afraid that i would be annoying her or what.. i dont even know what she's busy-ing lately.. she just ignored my sms? or she dint get my sms.. i dont know what happened to her.. well despite being neglected by her..

All i can say is that i'm now still sick.. its thursday already... although fever has come down but this food poisoning is causing me more then that.. body ache.. vomit....
arh.. I prayed to god just so she's healthy and happy..
So would I be healthy..and happy

Well business going so far (good) only.. but better then nth ...

I want to grow.. after June i'll Burst out of the Hot Rat Race(i hope)..
but i dont think things will run well in such a short term.. so i'll work hard to achieve my target..

Neway.. since she's not able to read my blog or she may.. wanted just to ask her
Hey, How're you lately?
Still busy-in with your Scholarship?




Well from all those things.. i just want to listen to her talking or even reading what she type's in the computer via MSN or anything just to contact her...
Seems like she's avoiding me more then being busy...

Well just let it be?(again? like 4 years ago?) my god.. my close friend.. i cant lose her again...

lolx. what am i thinking.. she dint even want to get into a relationship.. and i'm (still not) a (candidate) of her chaser(or person who's chasing her)...

I'm just her friend...(atleast that's what i know of)... So then.. Back to my Struggling life.. its 2am in the morning now.. i'd better go to bed now.. Tata!! Nitezz people's

Thanks for those who's visiting my blog.. pls post a hi on the shout box..^.^