† A love which comes at the wrong timing †

Well why don't we set the timing right?
I know there are 200k minimum of another half / soulmates which will suit both of us...
I know that you are just one of the 200k... as i am your one of the 200k...
and perhaps we might meet our another one of the 200k in the future...

But Jesyca arh... i hope you'd know...
You will be the 1 who will be my wife and the rest would end up as friends...
I hope you got the same feelings and you can really like this thinking and use it on us...
The yes and no will decide everything for our future...
A Yes and No answer which i will ask and hope you'd decide on Friday...
A contract which it will all be revealed on Friday k?
Although all of this happened i hope you and me in the future still have the chance...
A chance to advance our relationship...
The feeling of love is not a mistake...
Its fated to be so...
I got to accept this fact...

Hmmm glad that now you are no longer facing any stress now...
As i thought i dint miss out any but i do add a few sources of stress that have noticed
Ever since the word yes came out...
I wanted to solve it for you that day but u said u will solve it urself... i assumed and i was right..
U cant handle it alone bie...

I know you love me... and deeply you do ...
But the time of my appearance if its few months later... it would be perfect right?
A moment where you can "guang ming zheng da" fall in love with me...
Your dilemma is sort of what i'd had before when i was with my ex... but mine was worse..
Well all i can do now is Apologies accepted and you're welcome bie...

Its time for me to change my blog link soon enough...
After Friday...
Lets wish for a happy ending at the end of the day... love ya jes
I'm going to sleep ady..
I've been working so hard compressing all the hard feelings now i'd release it here..
The whole morning my business partner is putting me in a deep shit of stress
i can manage it yet i was in a deep headache and i kept a smile on my face..
now my body i felt like so weak...
How i hope you're just next to me holding me tight and say i love you...
lolx thats inside my dream i hope..
i'd go and take a rest 1st then chiawzz yall!!

Later at 1 plus going to coll awhile...

-Man Zai-

A wierd dream in deed...

Well i slept around 2 something after shedding some tears last night....
Then after i've decided to let ah bie work on herself without *annoying her* (but will reply every single msg that she will give me) all of the sudden...
I drop into a dream..
Inside the dream ofcourse ah bie was there...
Well we were just at my house and quite a lovely scene...
After a moment she said"my daddy want me to join him to take breakfast"
Then i said "I want to meet your papa"
She replied "Want ma come lo...* " something similar to that..
Then i quickly rush to go out holding her hand when she said outside my house..
Bie said "I dont know which route to go... left of right arh?"
I just reply "okok i know where dont worry ya?"

Then all of the sudden, the both of us just went to another place which i am not familiar with..
At there appeared 2 person... i think its either a male and a female... the guy told me..
"Don't let go now... continue to love her and she needs you beside her..."
*Somesort of like bie's daddy was talking to me but he looks kinda young so i doubt that its her papa owh*
Well its either an angel who come by to leave me a note...
or something is telling me that my decision is wrong for last night..

Well i will continue love her without any doubt now..(although last night did thought of stop sms-ing her let her be alone) i guess i was wrong...
Thats why i sent her a good morning wishes today bah...
Ah bie.. now i realize that the love i had for you...
I cant neglect it anymore...
I will control myself without letting you to have another headache *fan2 nao3* like u are in now..
decision will always be in your hands weather to hurt me or not to..
No matter what you will do ah bie... all i want to say is that I Love You, and You Love Me too...
So Jia you owh ah bie.. you can do it... must have the spirit to continue on what you are doing...
Stepping forward is something very hard because you are trying to change yourself..
When beggining of changing you din't get the chance to know what will happen next..
Thats also one of the reason people's did not like changes..
Because all of those uncertain things and unpredicted stuffs is what that scares people the most..
But bie... dont worry about all the changes that you are going to meet ya?
Coz.. i will be there... i know you wont accept any help from me but...
Please do accept them coz you are afraid when things starts to change ok?
I want to be there with you when you are facing some changes..
Lets change together ok ma? Jia you owh bie... Miss you alot...
(really miss until i can dream about u d...)

I'd better get going now 10.am Sharp reach McD. if not raymond will ki xiao again..
Bie Jia you bah i wont disturb u much owh... but will drop by several msg in noon evening and night k?
Jia you... and 1 more thing bie arh hope u'd know
Loving you is something that i will never regret even if it will take my life away..
Caring for you is something that now it have been a must for me...
Helping you is one thing that i wanted to do just waiting you to accept...
hehe jia you ...you can do it...

-Man Zai-

A situation which I am lost...

Well today i can say i am very lucky to have you bie..
I know your love which have already poured at my heart filling it to its maximum...
It have already overflowed.. thanks ya?
Those feelings that you'd talked about just now..
I do face that b4..
I know its kinda hard to face but that time i did manage to face it alone...
I want to help you but i also want you to try and face it 1st... when you are at your
most helped needed i will appear k? love ya.

Starting from 26 September 2009 1.41am Joe The Wormy officially announce
Dear Jes Jes, Ah Bie as his lawfully girlfriend.

So starting from that day onwards.
Joe the wormy must be prepared on 24 hour basis...
Anytime help needed will directly be provided no matter what scenario he is in.
His control of his emotion have improved...
He can smile when he's in pain(well soon he will go for a checkup with some doctors*maybe this coming wednesday but perhaphs sooner next week bah*) coz
He din't want his beloved Bie get worried too much
Now then This following week will have to start on Day 1(miss her alot scenario) again starting from tomorrow..
Thanks to Bie now i got a new plan on my project...
Its time to change...(Major 1 i guess)
Step into a field where(i've stopped joining for afew years)
Venture into life where i've been before but left afew years ago..
Its start of something new...

Bie Jia you... You can do it de...
The shoulder which is specially made for you always be there for you ya? hehe
Dont worry too much, just go for it... support will be given by dear all the time...
Just 1 phone call even if i'm at Johore i will fly back within 6 hours time just to be by your side k?
Loving you will soon or have already been a "Xi Guan" ady... slowly... gently... softly... and also
Deeply.. hehe

Now Day 1..actually today loe...
10a.m McD Greenlane meeting + decision making + action taking..Ending should be at 12am tomorrow i guess..
Life act for my future career starting point..dangzz its hard but good enough i can manage it well
Bie arh please forgive me if i did not took good care for my health this week ya? just for this week
Coz i want to go fullforce on my work owh..

I hope this can bring me some new hope where i can continue to bring future inside my life..
Bie u add oil on fighting againts your feelings ya? i will add oil on my work.. u also jia you on ur studies owh...*where i will prepare some also on ur studies hope can help you bie*

Lets fight together bah bie... Jia you Jia you Jia you... I love you...hehe

-Man Zai-

A day which i will never forget...

Finally i got a gf for 1 day...
Well the girl is the one that i've fell for ...
Although it did not end up the way i expected but still... luckly
The plan still goes as it have been planned..
Glad that she'd loved it... hehe
Well after today i must know that she's not my gf...until one day which i hope it really does happened

Back to Wormy stage... better go get more rest now so tired and the gastric keep on playing a fool with me now..
nvm i can handle it... its my stomach i will control it with my own will..
K then nitezz all and also
sweet dreams ya jes jes... nitezz

-Man Zai-

Day 4

Its been day 4...
Although its the 4th day....
Missed her like tons... hehe...
Well for today maybe we did contact in the morning... but then
The feeling of missing her is like taking away a whole piece of flesh away from me...
LOL...

I should know 1 thing and always kept it in my mind...
In the past this thing made me scare of walking into love...
But now i know i love her so much.. I dint want to stop loving her..
Until one day maybe she'd fall for another guy..
Till then i will just fulfill her wish and just give up..
Because i really loved her like she did to me for now(i do hope it can last until forever)...

I know why you are scared to start because you scared of hurting me...
But jes jes i hope you'd know 1 thing which i've been telling you all the while owh..
I dont mind letting u hurt..

Its not your fault that you'd hurt someone you love...(sometimes)
But then i'll make the sometimes to all the time if you want...

maybe somebody will think that i'm a dumb dumb to make such a decision..
But i know her more and more day by day...
She's actually not *hua xin* just she's playful
everytime wants to try new things... including new feelings i guess..
She's not promiscuous but just she's unsure of what she wants...
She's not a bad girl just that she did not aware of things around her...
She's one that i would love?omg i keep on write lok ki like writing a love letter aneh...
Better stop here..

Well today i did think alot about her...but then i failed to woke up to phone her this early morning..
So lausy eh me...but luckly i manage to msg-ed her...sorry ya?
Well today whole day dint know why got abit happy that she's coming back d...

Afternoon after lunch with my family i kept on thinking of her... but then
suddenly i felt like i've been annoying her when she's busy all the time so i stopped sms-ing her..
Until she starts to get on to the car...
A car which is full of guyz...
but then i cant do much also...
Since she'd told me that she wanted to play...
I wanted to fulfil her wish but frankly to tell
I can't fulfill it for her...because in the end it will just be hurting her...
Although in the process the hurt created for me i can handle but...
The end of the day hurting her is something which i wont forgive myself if i did...
Well then lets skip all these drama's which is playing inside my mind

Jes Jes... Jia you owh... on your up coming events and alot of challanges...
Which all these challenges wormy know that jes jes wanted to face them by yourself...
But once again... Wormy hope u'd know that he'll be there all the time..
Dont wait until you're collapsing then only u come and find worm worm k?
When you are stuck... help will be presented to you..
When you are in trouble... saviour will be there*Wormy*
When you are in a trauma... Wormy will help to ease your pain..
Well last and most least... i'm still in Penang... So just use my help ya?...
hehe

Jia you owh jes jes... add oil ya? hehe
Gam Ba Teh~~

-Man Zai-

Day 3 here it goes..

3 days have passed.
Miss her if can be calculated... The amount really increases tremendously..
Well i stiff myself whole day at home... besides going out for breakfast lunch and dinner
Rest of my time i went to become a pig..

Having 2 hour plus slept at home and watching series..
Tomorrow is the day to really focus more on the slides...
Today just open awhile then the mood just went away so i stopped.

Well then Jes Jes at Tg Malim so nice... should be having alot of fun there..
And experiences hehe
Well miss her is one thing that i cant help to stop now...
Plans i haven make but tomorrow i better get my hair cut.
The bunch of grass is really gross and my hair now does not suit for business occasion..
Well then still waiting to wish her sweet dreams through phone thou...
hehe

For now i will love her without any fear ady...
Although maybe i'd already know some of the future but its unpredictable right?
(i mean the future)
So i will just proceed if she wants then lets see how bah..
Since both of us loved each other ady why not just give it a try?

Although i am not fooling around and i tend to get serious in relationship but...
Since its giving her so much pressure... i'll just be serious but control it and try to...
Make it to see not so serious bah...
Coz i dont want to create more pressure for her... maybe thats love?

My buzz partna exidentally viewed my msg with jes le...gai
i really dint know how to explain...
Told them we haven start they dont believe pula=.=
Well aihz sometimes i also dont know how to solve this kind of problem but..
Problem is created for humans to solve and gain experience in it right?

I'll still pray for the best, hope to get it and prepare for the worst i guess....
Heart broken is nothing compare to regretting when u found out that the love you let go is so important...
Alright then i'll proceed with the waiting session now...
Nitezz all

-Man Zai-

Well day 2... its more suffering then i'd thought it will

Well today is day 2... missed her so much...
Dear Jes Jes, sorry ya? unable to give u the morning call i said i will give le...
Well i'd tried my best not to miss u d...but it seems like ...i cant control anymore...
Hmmm not bad since i am not afraid of getting hurt..
I think its because of love bah...
Well then lets hope for the best and prepare for the worst...

Time flies... time to get going and change my life starting from now on...
Let money fly to me at the same time love also come ya...

Well then this day 2 really made me sneeze alot also made me miss her so much...
I will provide Morning call as i wanted now i better go and get to bed 1st...kinda late d..

And i dono miss or mister who's viewing on behalf of Jes Jes please dont simply read and tell ya?
Thanks...

Well then i wont worship jes jes... just love her that will do..
So then besides that closed 2 case... now got 4 more to go
Then got to start with new ones...

Business Oriented students who wanted to know how to get thier 1st 10k?
Phone me (not anytime..pls i also need sleep) my contact number 016-441 5443
Please contact me between 8 in the morning till 12 at night...
So sweet dreams ya jes jes... miss u sia but what to do u at so far away... hehe
But then jes jes... Add oil owh... Jia You on being independent... hehe love u owh...

Now now better dont hope too much coz Wormy u should know 1 thing...
All of this might only be a sweet dreams for a few months.. or it might be a forever 1...
Better be prepared to get hurt...(defend just take it off la)
Backup plan's must be made and not be told...
Times up nightzz all..

-Man Zai-

If i'd just realize...

If i'd just realise How much i missed her...
She went to camp starting from today...
I hope we'd be in a relationship now but i dont want to give her the pressure...
Loving her is something i cant replace by work nor anything now...=.= wat la me..
So stupid go promise her buat pa... regret d lo..
Somemore want to let her go play for 4 Years..
Walao... wats wrong with me la adui...
But then its just my feelings i can ignore...
i am proud of my emotion control...
heh..atleast thats something i can use on...

Today is just day 1...
Miss you nia jes jes...
Although i know it will hurt me the most in the end of the day but...
I guess there's no turning point d...
I was wrong that workaholic still works...
The medicine is no longer effective for me d...
Well its time to continue protect her... Love her...
Flirt i dont think i need it...coz its really from my heart..lolx
She scare i will fall deeper but i think she would know this will happen i guess..
Really hope to be with her...
I know i'm not the 100% of what she wanted but i hope atleast i can get more then 30 marks? hehe

Well then i can see my sickness is so deep..
I kept on thinking of her now...lolx better adjust the degree of miss d..
Must take control for the moment if not later she fan gan then i will lose her d...
Well then Jes Jes...add oil owh... Enjoy your camp ya?
hehe your phone should be in low batt d bah... nitezz la... dont want to disturb u d...sweet dreams....

-Man Zai-

Last time and now....

In the past, I would always think of weather to fall in love or not...
But now I dint manage to control it but really fell for her d...
But then she wants to play 1st at the same time she dint want to hurt me?...
wow that's i don't know how to explain..

Loving her makes me want to let her go and enjoy 1st...
So now question comes....
Should I really let her go 1st? continue concentrate on my work?
Or should I continue support her... love her like i did now?
Why does love always make my life so terrible..
Although i can totally 100% control my emotion now..finally
but when i know that she's with other guyz i will also get a little heartache..
is this love?
I guess its time for me to let go 1st...
If not she'll only be my best friend that's the limit..
We wont know weather she'll be able to meet up with someone whom will be more
suitable to be her husband in the future right?

Well Thanks arh jes jes... you've let me learn several things actually...
Knowing on how much i've fell into for you but its time for me to let go..
I know its hard enough thou.. but i'll give it a try..
Maybe its still not the right moment for me to have this love + relationship with you i guess..
Everything happens for a reason... who knows?
maybe you're the 1 who'd be the most suitable wife for me in the future 4 years?

But please ya? Jes Jes next time don't simply go into (Guyz) house..
Do things think 3 times before u take action it might take u afew seconds but pls do so...
I really scare you will get hurt... But if you really do.. the wormy will always be there k?
I'll cherish this best friend(relationship) for now.. love you owh jes..
I think this will be the last time for me (non flirtingly) telling you that i love you i guess...

Now focus on my work... Let me use workaholic to ease the pain inside my heart bah...
Maybe will need afew months then workaholic will be (deleted in my charactor)...
Maybe i dint tell u coz i dont want u to think too much...
but then my K sis use to tell me... i'm the family 1st type of person...
This statement i also dont know coz i dint really go and analyze myself..
Thanks for falling in love with me and you'd told me that ya? hehe..

Alright back to track(workaholic time)

-Man Zai-

† The symbols... †

Finally my boss is making fun out of me...
Well its ok i'll endure it..
Planning on who to target at and how to approach them... although still in progress but aihz sadness... so many things to do.. Better accept all sorts of challenge to be stronger in the future.
Well "she had a stomachache today" i know what to do but then still i am so worried..
Once she said that my thought came in....
Food posioning? Gastric? or even alot more....
Sometimes i really think too much huh? but worrying means what? means i care loe...adui..

OK last night i argued and thanks to this conflict i got so much relief on my work....
So guyz and gals i'll be starting to hunt all of you down 1 by 1 with several business u see?With that you'll please understand my situation and i dont want it to be this way its just a way to gain my starting point...

Tonight i am going to have a meeting up wif buzz partnazz at Gurney drive there next to a 7-11 which i dont even know where is it...
well knowing she's going to a camp soon might be able to miss her haha...
Better dont later she keep on get itchy her ears then when she come back sure scold me sia..
Also she's facing so much pressure which i hope i wont be giving her more...
i can see from her body language she's quite suffering at some point..
But at the same time she's enjoying the process..

Well back to my life after next TUESDAY i will be FREE!!!!
Free from MRET, FREE from my boss and manager although they acted differently after i argued with them..
I'd even said hi howz things? they no reply mia... both of them
my boss got la owh "zhe yang lor" in mandrin...

Alright better get some rest later got tons of things to do still...and i dint bring my lappie which is such a sadness...

-Man Zai-

Heartache huh? lolx wat la me...

Although predicted that today will come...why still it hurts so much?
Nvm nvm let it be, i'll get use to it soon.
She'll soon be a person very important in the society..
What the hack am i thinking, she might even not choose me in the future..
This really is WTF what am i thinking...
Do i really love her so much d?
or mayb i know the answer...its YES

Let it be 1st...
I got so much to worry still must be STRONG JOEL CHONG WEI-WERN!!
Its time to get on with your career...
No time for you to cry dammit..
But then thought of rejecting a girl type friend's invitation to movie...
yet she accepts to watch movie wif......
Aihz whats on my brain it does not LINK at all!!!!
STUPID JOEL!!STOP thinking so much...
Lets get on with my career..FOCUS on career CAREER.....
STOP IT STUPID JOEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its making me crazy sooner...
I'd better stop stop thinking about it...

FOCUS FOCUS JOEL!!!!!!!!!!
ok later i got a meeting with my banking agent boss then got several question which i must make clear of...
After that i have to confront and adjust things with my MRET boss..
TIME TO GET GOING STUPID MORON JOEL...
not a time for you to worry so much.. Responsible also have to come 1st...
JIA YOU Ah wern... Add oil!!

-Man Zai-

What a Mess start but not bad the ending..lolx

Its been awhile since i've been updating my blog.
Lately i guess i've been studying hard on how to start up a New N.G.O. (Non Government Organization)
...dam its so hard
I've work my ass of thinking on how to prepare a Perfect slide to use on my work..
I need dam a lot of network for now... i'd better stop using those vulgar words d...
Well Its nice to know that there is still a person who is such keen to learn in this world exist.

But then lately maybe i really dint realise that how much i've been stressing myself. So i'd better start to take care of my health since somebody(NAG-ed) me to take care...
Its a good advice for me also actually. Thanks I'll take up the advice..(if she reads it)

Neway will continue fight in my career when success that time will let every1 know how i did it.
But during the way down to success i will need people to support which i hope they will want to know how am i going to success.

Interested just contact me, or just simply leave a comment here i'll get through with it and maybe keep in touch with you.

Business is all inside my mind, opportunity is things that i do not want to miss...
But problems is those that allowing myself to stress myself.

My EQ consider high but still i am just another ordinary person.
In my life i've learned alot but still there are much more for me to learn.
Letting go is also a way to ..... nvm bout that but
Consiquenses is now things that will block my way..
Must think of a fact that can allow the consiquenses to become my power to influence more people in the future...
I want to thank god that i have my life still here sitting typing this msg.
Thank god give me such a nice father and mother although i wont blame my mom for not being a good mom coz not every mother is being thought or showered by mother's love.. i wont blame her coz i love her and she's my mom.
Neway i am thankful for my dad being so supportive in what i have been doing, although i did admit its my fault that my dad lost RM 13k for my lesson...
My parents should have stop me for that but nvm...
I'll be able to start my own things without letting my parents worry anymore starting from now..
I want to get all my plans work to atleast support my family.
My dad have been working like COW(for like so long since b4 i've born) still he is now working
I want him to rest relax before he reaches his age of 53 (Thats one of my target now). And my mom just i want her to stop worrying about finance in the family, it should be stressing her out like MAD lately.
I want to help my elder bro to get his NEW house asap, and i want to prepare a fund for my younger bro to get his studies after FORM 5...
Its just in a few years time but mom, please stay until i can really let you enjoy your life stop working for MINIMUM enjoy 5 to 10 years... i know ur cancer...stage please stay longer mom..

Gramps(granpa and granma) you two have been supportive enough teaching the lesson of your life to us thank you. I want everyone to enjoy what i can make out of my career(including my Pak pak(my dad's older bro) Ah Sook(my dad's younger bro) And gugu(my dad's Eldest Sis)
All of them to enjoy what i can get i will guide them with my way...

So God please bless me with the success and minor fault which will let us grow more...
Bless me with more endurance and knowledge in the road that i have choose..
Guide me when i speak, and lastly bless my whole family to gain health and wealth.

Now Lets get going (Dont stop its not a time to stop although i felt a mild Fever and mild headache but IT WONT AFFECT me) must jia you... hehe Bro's Gam ba Teh together now!!