Welcome Back Joel

Single life aint bad... Just its been as it was all the time...
She is the 1 made me not dare to think up front..
But then its good that now i know...
I just need to be myself..
Even if we were there for each other.. we wont mind what our mind is working..

Realizing this point for the 2nd time... Well I should have applied it man.. damn i was stubborn..
Back to topic...
For those who wanted a Job please contact me...(Company is offering pay from RM1.8k to 2.5k) But have to face with a tough hard and cold blooded interview...

Its time to let go Bro(to me la this phrase)
Its time to move on...
Its time to shine without anything dragging myself down(in my mind when i'm in a confuse mode i'd be dragged SLOWN DOWN...coz of mood Swing and the controling section is been done)
I'd stop my blogging for the sake of hers... but then i was wrong...
I'd stop myself from being myself... Haha
but did i? hehe who knows?

She's been viewing my Hi5 lately... i've found out since day 1...
But then aihz i dont know bah... maybe she really changed...
In sence of her heart...
I wonder when she said(when i love someone... i'm very loyalty to that person)... hmm how to judge her love on another person?
Who knows... maybe she knows..

Well then 21 counts... 1 Get 20 Lose.. LOL my up to date Record of Pikat girls... haha

Introducing WELLNESS CONCEPT TO EVERYONE!!!...
LETS GET HYPERED UP!!!
LETS GO GO GO!!!

† Man Zai †

Let me stop pin pointing...

Well to be more clearer now my mind it does...
Maybe its because last night i had 7 hour sleep...so...

Hmm if time were to let me go back i would just turn 3 days back to go and slap (that time eh me)
Ask "me" to wake up!!
Learning from this lesson i can see if wana go with fault finding...
Both of us also got mistakes made...
But my attitude i never want to blame any1...

So stop pin pointing... its true at that moment when i lost my mind..
The thought of blaming on u did came out...
I bet u also got several times of that in your life...

Its the 1st time actually to be culculated... because that time i angry because of the mistake you made at your work...
but back to me... if i were to claim my EQ = 138
I should be able to handle it...
Emotion really is the main killer in relationship...

I'd told her to think twice b4 doing anything...
But did i think twice when i lose my mind?
NOPE... the answer is no...
I know now that she'll never forgive me... because to her... its my 2nd mistake...
Which is a DIE straight sentence...

I know that she'll be able to find a better person to be with her in the future..
Better then me 100 times should not be a problem..

Kinda felt like i am a jerk...
Hmmm well learn from mistake and keep get going on my life..
Its my MOTO right?

Well then dint know why still love her so deeply...
After hurting her making me felt guilty(her so called once again)

Well all i can say is that i will never step into BLOGGING again...
Its one of a source for me to type without thinking..
I'll just stop and this will be my last post... thanks

† Man Zai †

† Well its not the way i wanted but its wat she wanted †

I've been staying up holding all the hurts that she've created..
FInally it burst like a balloon...

I am too tired... lack of rest... sommore work load tons of it...
I wana die...
some times i do hope that god will just take me away just like that...
Rather then putting me here.. loving a person who wont appreciate...
Caring her with all the extraordinary mind of her working...
i dont know weather caring for her is the right thing to do anymore...

I am tired...
Tired of my life...
Tired of me...
Tired of me for being so stupid to make the wrong move...
Tired of falling in love with a person who will never appreciate what love is...
Tired...

I still want to work out a finance for my family and my loved ones...
Still although all of this accured i still love her..
Dumb aint i?
fine watever the feeling of my heart shouting and my mind is telling...
I dont want to think anymore..
Since she dont want it...
I'd told her b4 i will never force the 1 that i love..
She don wan i'll just take away until she wants it then only see..
See how it goes in the future....

I'm tired of love...
Although love to me is something very important in my life..
Its one of my motive that makes me move further...

Its also an ingredient of hurt...
Being tired all truely...even if she dislikes me...
I just hope that she'll pick up her phone... sms me 1 word...
The word that will motivate me.. but seems like
She'll just ignore me for the rest of my life..

Somehow i'm glad that did happen u see?
Well once she'd let go of me... she'll be free...
Free from her so called burden(which is only the burden she created for herself)
Totally able to focus on what she "wanted consciously" and discarding all those "unconscious wants"

Although in the end... still i will be the 1 who will suffer the pain...
She also will but maybe lesser than what i am facing now...
Or maybe she dint suffer at all just got mad of what i've told her..

Time flies... i've only slept 3 hours in 48 hour time basis..
Going to collapse soon..

For now the 1st day i wanted to be alone...
But luckly still my K bro's and K sis's all still support me... not only them...
All my friends are still there for me...

Dint know why until now i still LOVE her...
Diao diok liao la...
nvm nvm just let it be...
Like she'd always mumble time heals...
In fact"Time let us to addapt to what we are facing"
i'll get use to it soon...
Soon enough...
Eventhough if i am waiting her...
Eventhough if i love her and wanted to wait her...
Do i really worth to let her torture?
or in anotherway to say...
Why did she torture someone she once cared the most?(for atleast afew weeks)
hmmm girls... i do understand them now...
I understand them because they will never being able to choose to listen either to their heart or to their mind...

Fine... EMO-ing person is like that 1...
I wont go and bother anymore(i hope i say here i really can make it) coz
All the time even when i said i wont care...
I still am worried about her....

Is this love?
not a question to be answered anymore i guess...
Lets get some rest tomorrow is another HUGE event day...
PS: Jes arh i'll be as busy as u are...so atleast i wont keep on making u "sneeze"(thinking of you)
And i remember my class is as such (SUNDAY 1st Nov) 12pm to 2.30pm BM i must do homework which now i have no time to do...
I will find maybe friday to finish it up or saturday night....
Last but most least... I miss you .....
Stupid eyes just stop shedding those tears... I've gotten use to all this pain aint i?


† Man Zai †

† Trying to get an ordinary love while fighting for an extraordinary income †

Well all i wanted and i am still praying for...
I thank god for giving me such a great lover...
She's special, kind, and most important she's the one that i fell for...

For now its been sometimes since I've tried to avoid her or is it she's been avoiding me...
I don't know..
But then i just hope that;
My love will be like both loving each other..
Thinking of another when we are tired or doing nothing..
Or just simply loving them with the heart of prepared to help them anytime?

Maybe i am stubborn but I guess the way i keep on telling her i love her have cause her alot of burden...
Actually after 1 night of thinking I've realized...
Even if i loved her its not necessary to tell her...
By telling her will only making her think more...
The burden she once told me will hold her back more...

So... for now... i can't let go of this love..
I don't know how long i can hold it but.. at least after her birthday i hope..
Its quite tiring to love a person when they dint want you to love...
But then i can say should be the last 1 ady bah..
If she'd accept me before i give up,
Then we might just go on in the future..
If she'd rejected on the day she fell in love with another guy then...
I'll just wait until another (one of the 200k person)to pass by...this time..
I will CONFIRM (where i wont put any feelings in 1st) not like i am with current one...
Then until confirm she want 4ever kinda stuff where we want to settle down no more fooling around..
That's what i wanted bah... simple easy and lovely.. which will last at least until i die?

For now i will focus on my career building bah...
Need to attend more and more appointments...working hard
Although hoped to have a person behind me providing some moral support..
A simple voice of the loved ones shall bring tons of energy to me i guess..

Although frankly to tell when u cant be with your loved ones...
Or being rejected is kinda hurt but... i guess
I've got used to it already...
The heart full of scars...
The love which once empty now filled..
Which is also one of my false move i guess..

But is loving a person a wrong thing to do?(Excellent question but who to answer?)
I was once told...
"Everyone in this world deserve the love inside your heart" what does that mean?
I got the meaning when i started to change myself...
Treating everyone similar to others...
The word i understand is that not only the 1 i fell for deserve all my love...
Even my friends and family should deserve them too..

We cant love if we keep on judging right? We cant learn if we don't make mistake...
All of these feelings is just something inside me...
In order to master it...
The changes which i once feared of...
Lots of books helped me on self development...
Thanks to all the authors...

My target is to make my group repeating sales within 4 months time where it allows me to...
earn RM5k per months...constantly...
Then will go for 20k after that per month... slowly increase..

Hit it then i will enjoy for awhile...
BALI Island HERE I COME!!!!!!!!
STAR WALK i will be there...
Penang Bridge RUN WA LAI LIAO!!
ALL CHIONG ARH!!!!!!!!
Nearly forgotten... Mr Kim's work i am coming also...

† Man Zai †

† Unconciously became a burden to somebody important †

Its been few months since i've decided not to give up..
But now the love that i once hold on tight have became a burden to the person..
The person whom i treated as important as my own life...
Now... knowing that the burden i've been for her all this while..
The heart pains...
The feeling of being your love'd one's burden...
This truely sucks..
Shall i give up? or i should hold on the love i have for her..
Because i still do love her... deeply..

All the thinking end up to me is that...
If I'd question GOD... I might ask...
Why do GOD give me the ability to foresee all types of possible future?
Why do GOD give me the ability to be able to connect to the spirit world?
If i were without these ability... wont she be more comfortable when she's with me?
I guess its not just that bah..

Including now her list in her mind is career & studies...
no more love.. well i respect that bah..
Allow me to reduce all types of burden that i've been creating for her then..
Its the most least i can do for her..
1stly she never accepts any helps..
She's face all types of hardship by herself..
She's been in the market now...
She can choose what type of guys she likes now..coz her price aint low..
I just cant hold her too tight then.. let her choose..
Respect her choice...
I know the chances of choosing me if i do so will be 0.000000001% but..
Should be worth while doing...
Being able to help her to reach the ladder of success..
Any type of sacrifices will be perfectly ok...
Still i hope she'll be with me in the future.... thats all i can say for now...

Since the decision being made...
I've successfully made her ignore me d..
I'll just let it be...
By making her ignoring me should be able to reduce alot of burden ady bah..
Hehe a capricorn really is able to make everything work according to his plan...
But then at the same time... My heart aches...
Dint know why... maybe if i do so... i'll lose her in the future..
Well its her choice not mine.
She already voice up she want to be free...
I'll give her freedom alright...
I'll just be there doing nothing..
With this no more burden, she can focus more yet, she's being able to be free...
Suits her right?

The hurt that i am facing... i've faced them b4...
No big deal... just another failure i suppose?
But then why is that everytime i'd love someone truely...
GOD will just create so much barriers for me to face?
To give me a test on my love life?
TO make our bonds together much more stronger?
Or.. just simply dint want me to fall in love?

PS: Its an answer that i will get after i die bah... hehe

Atleast for now... lets do my best to reduce every possible burden that once i've cause her to have in the past...

† Man Zai †

† How i hope you were there †

2 days already i'm in this pain and agony...
The problems and issues due to my failure of judging one person had caused me..
How i hope that you are right behind me holding me tight and say...
"Everything will be fine, I'll be right here supporting you"
"Must jia you owh...hehe" add on with a smile...

My brain nearly cracked due to the thinking of how to solve all this problem that i am facing.
Then unconsciously I've come through this which i should have not...
=.= why did i press it when my curiosity made me to...
Its the same thing she replied to me before...
Now it seems like she's already fallen for another guy? or its just an advise from her??

I just all of the sudden i felt... I've lost her...
But some times she makes me feel that i am still in her (Choice) list...
I wanted to be her one and only name on her (Choice) list....
but...
I dont know...

1st time ever when I'm not with her i got this uncertain feeling...
But still the box i kept inside my heart the love keeps spreading out from the box..
and slowly it had already filling up my empty heart again..

I wanted to cry...i wanted to lie down with someone,
All i wanted is someplace that i can feel it is home..
It is also a feeling that I've gain when I'm with her...
and only her can give me that feeling...
Just that i cant create more pressure for her.. so better keep this down and low..
I wont voice up...
My poker face is still on when its needed so no worries..

Seems like she's facing her own growing stage from teen to adult...
I face it b4 so all i can say is i know its hard but go for it and you'll make it ya?
Support will always be given... and thanks for replying my msg "and ignored some" its ok
i know you've been busy I'll sms u seldom k?
Or maybe you've fallen for another guy i don't know...
Anyway All the best for what you're up to ya?

I'd better bring out my "Sei Chang" attitude d...
Its not her fault nor her responsible to share or feel what i am facing now..
I cant bring her down too..
Its my feelings not hers...
Its the love that i had for her.. not the love she had for me..
All of this is my problem its time to be strong to face it all by my self again..

But then just now 5pm when i reach home...
I felt like i want to collapse..
Really did happen again selective "black out" mode...
I think this issue(the issue in my work part) have been causing me too much pain
I'd better solve it as soon as possible if not it will affect me...
And the most feared part is that my emotion will just affect her...
Which is something that i wouldn't want it to happen in the future...
Well Cheer up everyone... including me...
I CAN DO IT... SO CAN YOU(referring to the girl I'd fell for)...

Cant stop doing this and kept on felt sorry because scared that it might disturb her too much...
Still thinking of her so much...up until now...

-Man Zai-

† I just dont want to interfere anymore †

Its time to stop this relationship,
Time to hypnotize myself..
We are just friends...
Very close friends like she said..
I'd really like to continue but...
i scare she cant handle it...

Lets pause here...
See how it goes in the future...
Since there are so many choice for her now i cant be that selfish...
I wanted to be but... its just not fair for her..
Let her decide...

If in the future she still want to continue it with me then...
Lets create this as a password for us...

"I Love You"

Tell me from the bottom of your heart when u want it k?
I'll hide mine away deep deep inside my heart...
Wait you owh...

But then maximum i guess will wait you for 5 more months bah...

If its a no continue then i'll just give up...
I've stand up for this relationship and its not hard at all..
I felt joy, blisfulness, relax and laughter all the time...
Thanks for those sweet memories...
I'll keep those now...
continue to hold them back until u speak up the secret password...
Promise will be kept... even if the relationship have been (de-ranked) hehe
Cheers for you Jes...

-Man Zai-

† A Lesson learned †

Well finally i found out that why she's so stressed now days...
Not only because of me disturbing her by sms-ing her..
Mr S also.. and i guess there are more...
Now its better to sms her lesser, disturb her lesser because i know..
That Mr S wont stop sms-ing her one...
She's stress enough just to reply his msg.. so..
let me reduce on disturbing her bah...
Maybe one day 1 msg in morning 1 phone call at night should do...
unless she sms's me i'll 100% reply her...

Bie arh... I know u want to keep promises..
But sometimes i will let you to do so coz it'll determine weather if u will kept promises that u made or not in the future...
This is the 1st promise u gave me and u would want to kept it...
Really appreciate it owh bie... thanks...
Thank god for giving me such a great lover who'd sacrifice so much for me...
Please protect her from any harm nor danger while i'm not around with her..
I know that she's troubled enough so better let her deal it alone...
If i'm there to disturb her, it will only create more pressure on her...

Jes arh... Jia you owh u can do it de... hehe
Next WED only meet owh... jia you ya?
I'll be right next to you when u needed me the most...
Just let me know when u really wanted a person there for you... i'll be there..

Well then just assumtion, i dint know why she left her blogger account sign in... izzit she just simply forgot to sign out? or she want to show me something?
Well i just log out for her without any second though thou... and the song... i hope she did mean something behind...
Bogoshipda...
The meaning is thinking of you...
Well bie i also am thinking of you all the time...
Worried weather what were u busying?
Are you taking good care of your health?
and some more but... i know
i know that if i'd keep on nagging u u'll get fed up of it..
Maybe will cause you to hate me or neglect me...
All i can say is i love you bie..
I Believe that you can make it...
I will just be at one small corner which u wont notice to support you all the time..

Frankly speaking i was so damned happy when u said u want to come by my place to teach me..
Morning i went out caught in the rain awhile after purchasing those eggs and some vegie...
Then, my mom phone in when i reach home said she bought lunch..=.=
I was like... aihz nvm about that
Then when she teaches, her look have been carved in my heart...
so pretty when she was smiling at me ..
My heart just melted with just that smile.. hehe

Well all i have to do now is to support her quitely...
Behind the bars where she cant see me...
Well then, lets get back to my routine then...
she wont read this ady i guess its not in her hot news...

Jesyca, my love,
Jia you owh,
I know u can do it de,
Need help i think u know who to find d bah...
And i hope the person u find is me owh...

PS: Never felt that you are disturbing me any time, anywhere, any place, because you never will k? Jia you owh!!

†Man Zai†

My mind was currupted until now...

Well i just came back to my own sense...
Jes u made me learn how to perfectly make myself feel better no matter what happen...
I've just mastered the most hardest part of my Emotion part thanks to you owh..


In my heart at 1st i was complicated by my own emotion...
Actually i still can love you...
Loving you is something that i will never regret in my life...
Maybe i just am not the right person for you...
But still loving you and being the right person is 2 different thing..
I should have not mix them together...
I love you more then you can imagine...
Well for now i will continue to love you...
Care for you...
But until the day u decide on who you want...
I will be by your side training you to be stronger...
Please let me hold your arms while u slowly walk out from the tortise shell..
Allow me to show you what i am capable of as a Capricon...

I realize one thing... from this love..
A Capricorn can either be very optimistic... or the other way round...
So why don't i just push myself in optimistic...
Smiling and spreading the love that everyone suppose to get from this capricon?
Thanks Jes...
You made me realize..
Thank you... And sorry for hurting you this 2 days...
Sorry but to say that i really loved you...

I don't know in the future who you will choose but...
At least I'll give it a try...
If i failed at least i tried my best...
Thanks for everything that you've done for me...

PS: You are making me worried today.... sorry i will take a good care of my health and the med..
I already finish them yesterday.. thanks for the remind thou..
I have grab back me my own self... now its your turn Jes...
Jia you i know you can make it... push harder... i will be right next to you...
Supporting you like your dearly brother, lovely parents...
Appreciate your love as i did along the way....
Miss you so much Jes...
Love you since that day onworts..
Hope to continue our relationship in the future if you still wanted to..
But also wish the best of luck on your search for the best person you think suits you the most..

-Man Zai-

† The pain we both are facing now... †

I know that the pain i am facing cant be compared to what you are facing now Jes...
Please do get on...
Today i might be in a blue feelings...
Totally lost myself yesterday..
EQ too high aint a good thing also...
Manage to smile the whole road down the meeting... Compressing the pain inside...
Nobody can saw anything wrong with me... what a success...
Its time, i've decide to change you Jes...
Its something that in the past i kept it because i loved you and i know...
If you have been changed...
Your thinking, Your want for another half will also change...
I will lose you if i do so...
Well its ok to do so i guess..
I cant be that selfish...

Well the pain that i am feeling now is like tearing my heart apart..
Then put salt in it and also some sugar...
After that pour in a pile of red ant to let them bite...
Should be how it felt for now i guess...

Even when i am not thinking about you jes.. the pain still goes... i'll get use to it soon i hope...
Well its a good thing that now u're relief from me..
In the future u will sure meet up with the one that u wanted to be with..
So before that happen i'll be next to you until you meet up with "him"
After that i'll leave.. should be what i can do now i guess..
At the mean time see how much things u can learn from me...

I know the pain you are facing now... as i am once the worm...
You still manage to fake a smile through the phone...
Hold your tears and the pain inside you...
I really want to thank you...
Please dont let the pain haunt you...
Like u said in tweeter... time heals...(i guess that works for you)
Then let time heal you ok?
Anyway add oil in everything in the future which i will never interfere anymore..

Hate assignments... lolx but got to do it... haha..
Forcing myself to not love the 1 that i love... 1st time doing so... hope can success..
Hehe add Oil Jes i know u can, just believe in urself then u'll make it...
Same goes to Joe...haha try our best let the god decide the rest then...

After those hours of thinking i stop but still i hope that you're there to hold me tight..
Just tell me everything is fine...
That will help alot... but its for me to handle everything now..
I cant still ask you to do things for me anymore..
The horoscope is too accurate i dint dare to post on anywhere i know...
Capricons.. If i were not a capricon how good can that be for us......

-Man Zai-

† I'll give it a try... †

Going to start pia work stop love? well if i really do i dono how hard it will be on me..
If i really do so.. well i don't know this world will consider happy or not...
Losing another bad person(huai4 Ren2) in love section of the bible...
I think its a good thing to stop for now...

Lets try to be friends.. like u said well i am not the one u pursue for...
But now I really am confuse of weather the word ILU u really meant it or not..
Maybe at that time yes... but...

Actually i dint want to skip this so let me finish what i started...
Remember that night when u wanted to say the 3 words what did i ask you?
If you dont then just leave it... if you do the reason is that once you said it...
If u mean it... Means the love will last forever...
But then it just doesn't seems to be the right time...

well then i have to go on that appointment 9pm Coffee island...
Dint know why so moody now...
But i guess its the same feeling when my ex told me....
My eyedrops just cant flow out...
Am i sick? Last time it just flow just like that when she "Touched" my heart...
now? Complicated i dont want to think but it just keep on bothering me...

Well Jesyca...lets stick with this 1st bah..
I dono suddenly change of status want to call u what le..
Capricons"also known as popcorns"...
Hah stupid thing about him being honest.. should have kept all those secrets...
But dont true relationships have 0 secrets?
Complicated again...but he know how to solve it..
Just maybe its not a time for him to solve i guess..

Skip skip skip... how i hope i can throw away all my feelings now...
Well stop being so down man... she'll be bothered if i am so..
Ok get back myself i go set my hair now better get going i dont want to be late...

Appointment "Vikie Chong" ex colleage..
Title: Loans.... methods of gaining loans
Time: 9pm
Venue: Coffee Island

Zialat dono she will scold me or not if she finds out that i forgot to take my medi today...
Took my dinner d too late to take the med...
Silly me time to go stop thinking so much...
Try to get back to single... wont be hard i guess..
heh lets treat it as probation then..or not..
GTG chiawzz

PS: The guy who is still in Love with her have decided one thing that he will do for her...
Nothing can change his mind now... He knows that if he do so...
The changes might hurt him but it will help her in the future...
Thats the only thing is left to repair all the damage which have been created by him...

-Man Zai-

† Paralyzed today..luckly still can manage to sms †

Early in the morning went to fetch my friend Kui Fen(secondary friend)
Woke up at 6.40 then went fetch her throw her at the bus stop
Then i straight went back sleep...
Hehe sorry ya? bie if my msg this morning did disturbed u le... miss u owh..

Hope bie today is doing well and gotten better from last night's incident...

Bie dont worry ya? its nothing much just something new for you to experience owh last night..
Well my body got worsen after lifting up the cupboard from outside my house to my room..
Now i am paralyzed lying down on my bed barely move...
Hope she's enjoying her time with her classmates at the afternoon maybe watching movie or shopping at a mall...

But then if not hopefully she's now working hard for her B law...
How i hope she's now next to me putting some oil on my back for me...
Dam it hurts even when i turn a little bit the pain comes..
The whole back from my chest(front) to my back and the waist there...
The leg also so bad keep on ache like aihz i dono how to describe ady...
the pain i cant describe... its paralyzing me now...

I dint told her hope she's not angry owh...
Coz i know bie u are busy today... and i didn't want bie to worry owh...
Jia you owh bie... dont worry about me hopefully after today my body will be back in shape..
Enjoy on what you are doing and jia you on what you need to put effort for ya?
Back to bed... its quite pain while i was sitting straight typing this blog...wow..
I still manage to made it hehe... Thank God...

PS: for ah bie should be saying Thanks Buddha right? hehe

-Man Zai-

† A love which comes at the wrong timing †

Well why don't we set the timing right?
I know there are 200k minimum of another half / soulmates which will suit both of us...
I know that you are just one of the 200k... as i am your one of the 200k...
and perhaps we might meet our another one of the 200k in the future...

But Jesyca arh... i hope you'd know...
You will be the 1 who will be my wife and the rest would end up as friends...
I hope you got the same feelings and you can really like this thinking and use it on us...
The yes and no will decide everything for our future...
A Yes and No answer which i will ask and hope you'd decide on Friday...
A contract which it will all be revealed on Friday k?
Although all of this happened i hope you and me in the future still have the chance...
A chance to advance our relationship...
The feeling of love is not a mistake...
Its fated to be so...
I got to accept this fact...

Hmmm glad that now you are no longer facing any stress now...
As i thought i dint miss out any but i do add a few sources of stress that have noticed
Ever since the word yes came out...
I wanted to solve it for you that day but u said u will solve it urself... i assumed and i was right..
U cant handle it alone bie...

I know you love me... and deeply you do ...
But the time of my appearance if its few months later... it would be perfect right?
A moment where you can "guang ming zheng da" fall in love with me...
Your dilemma is sort of what i'd had before when i was with my ex... but mine was worse..
Well all i can do now is Apologies accepted and you're welcome bie...

Its time for me to change my blog link soon enough...
After Friday...
Lets wish for a happy ending at the end of the day... love ya jes
I'm going to sleep ady..
I've been working so hard compressing all the hard feelings now i'd release it here..
The whole morning my business partner is putting me in a deep shit of stress
i can manage it yet i was in a deep headache and i kept a smile on my face..
now my body i felt like so weak...
How i hope you're just next to me holding me tight and say i love you...
lolx thats inside my dream i hope..
i'd go and take a rest 1st then chiawzz yall!!

Later at 1 plus going to coll awhile...

-Man Zai-

A wierd dream in deed...

Well i slept around 2 something after shedding some tears last night....
Then after i've decided to let ah bie work on herself without *annoying her* (but will reply every single msg that she will give me) all of the sudden...
I drop into a dream..
Inside the dream ofcourse ah bie was there...
Well we were just at my house and quite a lovely scene...
After a moment she said"my daddy want me to join him to take breakfast"
Then i said "I want to meet your papa"
She replied "Want ma come lo...* " something similar to that..
Then i quickly rush to go out holding her hand when she said outside my house..
Bie said "I dont know which route to go... left of right arh?"
I just reply "okok i know where dont worry ya?"

Then all of the sudden, the both of us just went to another place which i am not familiar with..
At there appeared 2 person... i think its either a male and a female... the guy told me..
"Don't let go now... continue to love her and she needs you beside her..."
*Somesort of like bie's daddy was talking to me but he looks kinda young so i doubt that its her papa owh*
Well its either an angel who come by to leave me a note...
or something is telling me that my decision is wrong for last night..

Well i will continue love her without any doubt now..(although last night did thought of stop sms-ing her let her be alone) i guess i was wrong...
Thats why i sent her a good morning wishes today bah...
Ah bie.. now i realize that the love i had for you...
I cant neglect it anymore...
I will control myself without letting you to have another headache *fan2 nao3* like u are in now..
decision will always be in your hands weather to hurt me or not to..
No matter what you will do ah bie... all i want to say is that I Love You, and You Love Me too...
So Jia you owh ah bie.. you can do it... must have the spirit to continue on what you are doing...
Stepping forward is something very hard because you are trying to change yourself..
When beggining of changing you din't get the chance to know what will happen next..
Thats also one of the reason people's did not like changes..
Because all of those uncertain things and unpredicted stuffs is what that scares people the most..
But bie... dont worry about all the changes that you are going to meet ya?
Coz.. i will be there... i know you wont accept any help from me but...
Please do accept them coz you are afraid when things starts to change ok?
I want to be there with you when you are facing some changes..
Lets change together ok ma? Jia you owh bie... Miss you alot...
(really miss until i can dream about u d...)

I'd better get going now 10.am Sharp reach McD. if not raymond will ki xiao again..
Bie Jia you bah i wont disturb u much owh... but will drop by several msg in noon evening and night k?
Jia you... and 1 more thing bie arh hope u'd know
Loving you is something that i will never regret even if it will take my life away..
Caring for you is something that now it have been a must for me...
Helping you is one thing that i wanted to do just waiting you to accept...
hehe jia you ...you can do it...

-Man Zai-

A situation which I am lost...

Well today i can say i am very lucky to have you bie..
I know your love which have already poured at my heart filling it to its maximum...
It have already overflowed.. thanks ya?
Those feelings that you'd talked about just now..
I do face that b4..
I know its kinda hard to face but that time i did manage to face it alone...
I want to help you but i also want you to try and face it 1st... when you are at your
most helped needed i will appear k? love ya.

Starting from 26 September 2009 1.41am Joe The Wormy officially announce
Dear Jes Jes, Ah Bie as his lawfully girlfriend.

So starting from that day onwards.
Joe the wormy must be prepared on 24 hour basis...
Anytime help needed will directly be provided no matter what scenario he is in.
His control of his emotion have improved...
He can smile when he's in pain(well soon he will go for a checkup with some doctors*maybe this coming wednesday but perhaphs sooner next week bah*) coz
He din't want his beloved Bie get worried too much
Now then This following week will have to start on Day 1(miss her alot scenario) again starting from tomorrow..
Thanks to Bie now i got a new plan on my project...
Its time to change...(Major 1 i guess)
Step into a field where(i've stopped joining for afew years)
Venture into life where i've been before but left afew years ago..
Its start of something new...

Bie Jia you... You can do it de...
The shoulder which is specially made for you always be there for you ya? hehe
Dont worry too much, just go for it... support will be given by dear all the time...
Just 1 phone call even if i'm at Johore i will fly back within 6 hours time just to be by your side k?
Loving you will soon or have already been a "Xi Guan" ady... slowly... gently... softly... and also
Deeply.. hehe

Now Day 1..actually today loe...
10a.m McD Greenlane meeting + decision making + action taking..Ending should be at 12am tomorrow i guess..
Life act for my future career starting point..dangzz its hard but good enough i can manage it well
Bie arh please forgive me if i did not took good care for my health this week ya? just for this week
Coz i want to go fullforce on my work owh..

I hope this can bring me some new hope where i can continue to bring future inside my life..
Bie u add oil on fighting againts your feelings ya? i will add oil on my work.. u also jia you on ur studies owh...*where i will prepare some also on ur studies hope can help you bie*

Lets fight together bah bie... Jia you Jia you Jia you... I love you...hehe

-Man Zai-

A day which i will never forget...

Finally i got a gf for 1 day...
Well the girl is the one that i've fell for ...
Although it did not end up the way i expected but still... luckly
The plan still goes as it have been planned..
Glad that she'd loved it... hehe
Well after today i must know that she's not my gf...until one day which i hope it really does happened

Back to Wormy stage... better go get more rest now so tired and the gastric keep on playing a fool with me now..
nvm i can handle it... its my stomach i will control it with my own will..
K then nitezz all and also
sweet dreams ya jes jes... nitezz

-Man Zai-

Day 4

Its been day 4...
Although its the 4th day....
Missed her like tons... hehe...
Well for today maybe we did contact in the morning... but then
The feeling of missing her is like taking away a whole piece of flesh away from me...
LOL...

I should know 1 thing and always kept it in my mind...
In the past this thing made me scare of walking into love...
But now i know i love her so much.. I dint want to stop loving her..
Until one day maybe she'd fall for another guy..
Till then i will just fulfill her wish and just give up..
Because i really loved her like she did to me for now(i do hope it can last until forever)...

I know why you are scared to start because you scared of hurting me...
But jes jes i hope you'd know 1 thing which i've been telling you all the while owh..
I dont mind letting u hurt..

Its not your fault that you'd hurt someone you love...(sometimes)
But then i'll make the sometimes to all the time if you want...

maybe somebody will think that i'm a dumb dumb to make such a decision..
But i know her more and more day by day...
She's actually not *hua xin* just she's playful
everytime wants to try new things... including new feelings i guess..
She's not promiscuous but just she's unsure of what she wants...
She's not a bad girl just that she did not aware of things around her...
She's one that i would love?omg i keep on write lok ki like writing a love letter aneh...
Better stop here..

Well today i did think alot about her...but then i failed to woke up to phone her this early morning..
So lausy eh me...but luckly i manage to msg-ed her...sorry ya?
Well today whole day dint know why got abit happy that she's coming back d...

Afternoon after lunch with my family i kept on thinking of her... but then
suddenly i felt like i've been annoying her when she's busy all the time so i stopped sms-ing her..
Until she starts to get on to the car...
A car which is full of guyz...
but then i cant do much also...
Since she'd told me that she wanted to play...
I wanted to fulfil her wish but frankly to tell
I can't fulfill it for her...because in the end it will just be hurting her...
Although in the process the hurt created for me i can handle but...
The end of the day hurting her is something which i wont forgive myself if i did...
Well then lets skip all these drama's which is playing inside my mind

Jes Jes... Jia you owh... on your up coming events and alot of challanges...
Which all these challenges wormy know that jes jes wanted to face them by yourself...
But once again... Wormy hope u'd know that he'll be there all the time..
Dont wait until you're collapsing then only u come and find worm worm k?
When you are stuck... help will be presented to you..
When you are in trouble... saviour will be there*Wormy*
When you are in a trauma... Wormy will help to ease your pain..
Well last and most least... i'm still in Penang... So just use my help ya?...
hehe

Jia you owh jes jes... add oil ya? hehe
Gam Ba Teh~~

-Man Zai-

Day 3 here it goes..

3 days have passed.
Miss her if can be calculated... The amount really increases tremendously..
Well i stiff myself whole day at home... besides going out for breakfast lunch and dinner
Rest of my time i went to become a pig..

Having 2 hour plus slept at home and watching series..
Tomorrow is the day to really focus more on the slides...
Today just open awhile then the mood just went away so i stopped.

Well then Jes Jes at Tg Malim so nice... should be having alot of fun there..
And experiences hehe
Well miss her is one thing that i cant help to stop now...
Plans i haven make but tomorrow i better get my hair cut.
The bunch of grass is really gross and my hair now does not suit for business occasion..
Well then still waiting to wish her sweet dreams through phone thou...
hehe

For now i will love her without any fear ady...
Although maybe i'd already know some of the future but its unpredictable right?
(i mean the future)
So i will just proceed if she wants then lets see how bah..
Since both of us loved each other ady why not just give it a try?

Although i am not fooling around and i tend to get serious in relationship but...
Since its giving her so much pressure... i'll just be serious but control it and try to...
Make it to see not so serious bah...
Coz i dont want to create more pressure for her... maybe thats love?

My buzz partna exidentally viewed my msg with jes le...gai
i really dint know how to explain...
Told them we haven start they dont believe pula=.=
Well aihz sometimes i also dont know how to solve this kind of problem but..
Problem is created for humans to solve and gain experience in it right?

I'll still pray for the best, hope to get it and prepare for the worst i guess....
Heart broken is nothing compare to regretting when u found out that the love you let go is so important...
Alright then i'll proceed with the waiting session now...
Nitezz all

-Man Zai-

Well day 2... its more suffering then i'd thought it will

Well today is day 2... missed her so much...
Dear Jes Jes, sorry ya? unable to give u the morning call i said i will give le...
Well i'd tried my best not to miss u d...but it seems like ...i cant control anymore...
Hmmm not bad since i am not afraid of getting hurt..
I think its because of love bah...
Well then lets hope for the best and prepare for the worst...

Time flies... time to get going and change my life starting from now on...
Let money fly to me at the same time love also come ya...

Well then this day 2 really made me sneeze alot also made me miss her so much...
I will provide Morning call as i wanted now i better go and get to bed 1st...kinda late d..

And i dono miss or mister who's viewing on behalf of Jes Jes please dont simply read and tell ya?
Thanks...

Well then i wont worship jes jes... just love her that will do..
So then besides that closed 2 case... now got 4 more to go
Then got to start with new ones...

Business Oriented students who wanted to know how to get thier 1st 10k?
Phone me (not anytime..pls i also need sleep) my contact number 016-441 5443
Please contact me between 8 in the morning till 12 at night...
So sweet dreams ya jes jes... miss u sia but what to do u at so far away... hehe
But then jes jes... Add oil owh... Jia You on being independent... hehe love u owh...

Now now better dont hope too much coz Wormy u should know 1 thing...
All of this might only be a sweet dreams for a few months.. or it might be a forever 1...
Better be prepared to get hurt...(defend just take it off la)
Backup plan's must be made and not be told...
Times up nightzz all..

-Man Zai-

If i'd just realize...

If i'd just realise How much i missed her...
She went to camp starting from today...
I hope we'd be in a relationship now but i dont want to give her the pressure...
Loving her is something i cant replace by work nor anything now...=.= wat la me..
So stupid go promise her buat pa... regret d lo..
Somemore want to let her go play for 4 Years..
Walao... wats wrong with me la adui...
But then its just my feelings i can ignore...
i am proud of my emotion control...
heh..atleast thats something i can use on...

Today is just day 1...
Miss you nia jes jes...
Although i know it will hurt me the most in the end of the day but...
I guess there's no turning point d...
I was wrong that workaholic still works...
The medicine is no longer effective for me d...
Well its time to continue protect her... Love her...
Flirt i dont think i need it...coz its really from my heart..lolx
She scare i will fall deeper but i think she would know this will happen i guess..
Really hope to be with her...
I know i'm not the 100% of what she wanted but i hope atleast i can get more then 30 marks? hehe

Well then i can see my sickness is so deep..
I kept on thinking of her now...lolx better adjust the degree of miss d..
Must take control for the moment if not later she fan gan then i will lose her d...
Well then Jes Jes...add oil owh... Enjoy your camp ya?
hehe your phone should be in low batt d bah... nitezz la... dont want to disturb u d...sweet dreams....

-Man Zai-

Last time and now....

In the past, I would always think of weather to fall in love or not...
But now I dint manage to control it but really fell for her d...
But then she wants to play 1st at the same time she dint want to hurt me?...
wow that's i don't know how to explain..

Loving her makes me want to let her go and enjoy 1st...
So now question comes....
Should I really let her go 1st? continue concentrate on my work?
Or should I continue support her... love her like i did now?
Why does love always make my life so terrible..
Although i can totally 100% control my emotion now..finally
but when i know that she's with other guyz i will also get a little heartache..
is this love?
I guess its time for me to let go 1st...
If not she'll only be my best friend that's the limit..
We wont know weather she'll be able to meet up with someone whom will be more
suitable to be her husband in the future right?

Well Thanks arh jes jes... you've let me learn several things actually...
Knowing on how much i've fell into for you but its time for me to let go..
I know its hard enough thou.. but i'll give it a try..
Maybe its still not the right moment for me to have this love + relationship with you i guess..
Everything happens for a reason... who knows?
maybe you're the 1 who'd be the most suitable wife for me in the future 4 years?

But please ya? Jes Jes next time don't simply go into (Guyz) house..
Do things think 3 times before u take action it might take u afew seconds but pls do so...
I really scare you will get hurt... But if you really do.. the wormy will always be there k?
I'll cherish this best friend(relationship) for now.. love you owh jes..
I think this will be the last time for me (non flirtingly) telling you that i love you i guess...

Now focus on my work... Let me use workaholic to ease the pain inside my heart bah...
Maybe will need afew months then workaholic will be (deleted in my charactor)...
Maybe i dint tell u coz i dont want u to think too much...
but then my K sis use to tell me... i'm the family 1st type of person...
This statement i also dont know coz i dint really go and analyze myself..
Thanks for falling in love with me and you'd told me that ya? hehe..

Alright back to track(workaholic time)

-Man Zai-

† The symbols... †

Finally my boss is making fun out of me...
Well its ok i'll endure it..
Planning on who to target at and how to approach them... although still in progress but aihz sadness... so many things to do.. Better accept all sorts of challenge to be stronger in the future.
Well "she had a stomachache today" i know what to do but then still i am so worried..
Once she said that my thought came in....
Food posioning? Gastric? or even alot more....
Sometimes i really think too much huh? but worrying means what? means i care loe...adui..

OK last night i argued and thanks to this conflict i got so much relief on my work....
So guyz and gals i'll be starting to hunt all of you down 1 by 1 with several business u see?With that you'll please understand my situation and i dont want it to be this way its just a way to gain my starting point...

Tonight i am going to have a meeting up wif buzz partnazz at Gurney drive there next to a 7-11 which i dont even know where is it...
well knowing she's going to a camp soon might be able to miss her haha...
Better dont later she keep on get itchy her ears then when she come back sure scold me sia..
Also she's facing so much pressure which i hope i wont be giving her more...
i can see from her body language she's quite suffering at some point..
But at the same time she's enjoying the process..

Well back to my life after next TUESDAY i will be FREE!!!!
Free from MRET, FREE from my boss and manager although they acted differently after i argued with them..
I'd even said hi howz things? they no reply mia... both of them
my boss got la owh "zhe yang lor" in mandrin...

Alright better get some rest later got tons of things to do still...and i dint bring my lappie which is such a sadness...

-Man Zai-

Heartache huh? lolx wat la me...

Although predicted that today will come...why still it hurts so much?
Nvm nvm let it be, i'll get use to it soon.
She'll soon be a person very important in the society..
What the hack am i thinking, she might even not choose me in the future..
This really is WTF what am i thinking...
Do i really love her so much d?
or mayb i know the answer...its YES

Let it be 1st...
I got so much to worry still must be STRONG JOEL CHONG WEI-WERN!!
Its time to get on with your career...
No time for you to cry dammit..
But then thought of rejecting a girl type friend's invitation to movie...
yet she accepts to watch movie wif......
Aihz whats on my brain it does not LINK at all!!!!
STUPID JOEL!!STOP thinking so much...
Lets get on with my career..FOCUS on career CAREER.....
STOP IT STUPID JOEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its making me crazy sooner...
I'd better stop stop thinking about it...

FOCUS FOCUS JOEL!!!!!!!!!!
ok later i got a meeting with my banking agent boss then got several question which i must make clear of...
After that i have to confront and adjust things with my MRET boss..
TIME TO GET GOING STUPID MORON JOEL...
not a time for you to worry so much.. Responsible also have to come 1st...
JIA YOU Ah wern... Add oil!!

-Man Zai-

What a Mess start but not bad the ending..lolx

Its been awhile since i've been updating my blog.
Lately i guess i've been studying hard on how to start up a New N.G.O. (Non Government Organization)
...dam its so hard
I've work my ass of thinking on how to prepare a Perfect slide to use on my work..
I need dam a lot of network for now... i'd better stop using those vulgar words d...
Well Its nice to know that there is still a person who is such keen to learn in this world exist.

But then lately maybe i really dint realise that how much i've been stressing myself. So i'd better start to take care of my health since somebody(NAG-ed) me to take care...
Its a good advice for me also actually. Thanks I'll take up the advice..(if she reads it)

Neway will continue fight in my career when success that time will let every1 know how i did it.
But during the way down to success i will need people to support which i hope they will want to know how am i going to success.

Interested just contact me, or just simply leave a comment here i'll get through with it and maybe keep in touch with you.

Business is all inside my mind, opportunity is things that i do not want to miss...
But problems is those that allowing myself to stress myself.

My EQ consider high but still i am just another ordinary person.
In my life i've learned alot but still there are much more for me to learn.
Letting go is also a way to ..... nvm bout that but
Consiquenses is now things that will block my way..
Must think of a fact that can allow the consiquenses to become my power to influence more people in the future...
I want to thank god that i have my life still here sitting typing this msg.
Thank god give me such a nice father and mother although i wont blame my mom for not being a good mom coz not every mother is being thought or showered by mother's love.. i wont blame her coz i love her and she's my mom.
Neway i am thankful for my dad being so supportive in what i have been doing, although i did admit its my fault that my dad lost RM 13k for my lesson...
My parents should have stop me for that but nvm...
I'll be able to start my own things without letting my parents worry anymore starting from now..
I want to get all my plans work to atleast support my family.
My dad have been working like COW(for like so long since b4 i've born) still he is now working
I want him to rest relax before he reaches his age of 53 (Thats one of my target now). And my mom just i want her to stop worrying about finance in the family, it should be stressing her out like MAD lately.
I want to help my elder bro to get his NEW house asap, and i want to prepare a fund for my younger bro to get his studies after FORM 5...
Its just in a few years time but mom, please stay until i can really let you enjoy your life stop working for MINIMUM enjoy 5 to 10 years... i know ur cancer...stage please stay longer mom..

Gramps(granpa and granma) you two have been supportive enough teaching the lesson of your life to us thank you. I want everyone to enjoy what i can make out of my career(including my Pak pak(my dad's older bro) Ah Sook(my dad's younger bro) And gugu(my dad's Eldest Sis)
All of them to enjoy what i can get i will guide them with my way...

So God please bless me with the success and minor fault which will let us grow more...
Bless me with more endurance and knowledge in the road that i have choose..
Guide me when i speak, and lastly bless my whole family to gain health and wealth.

Now Lets get going (Dont stop its not a time to stop although i felt a mild Fever and mild headache but IT WONT AFFECT me) must jia you... hehe Bro's Gam ba Teh together now!!

WOrking life started since 1st of July Sales (M.R.E.T)

Since start this fulltime work, never thought of girls anymore...
Dint know why dint know how but... maybe thats human being bah...
Although sometimes while working...stilll can (have illusion of my ex standing infront of me) but
Her thinking and mine are way too diff for now..
Things will not last forever, but then shall she ever thought of will a family atleast last for 50 years?
Since Meeting up with each other until married, then??
Babies born so on, until they get married...
So how long is forever?
And one more things if it wont last forever then how long is the time period?
But then not to say she's wrong, just over optimistic like i was last time...
Its glad that she was my 1st...
She let me learn and woke up from my FOREVER (imaginary) to reality
Learning that but now its time for me to move on to my work i guess..
Now i know alot of things but...how to use it?when to use it?
Doing sales i even can tell wat da person wants us to tell them...My god...
But then when i tell them i felt like(aihz since i know what u want wat for i go and try again le?)
Lately went back to RO(Just-RO)
Dint know where all my ex-guildmates went so i started alone 1st
Then slowly la...progress
This Grace Ooi...i think we both do not have any (monkey poops bah)Yuan Fen
Although sometimes will tot of her wana find her but
Dont have the guts to go...
aihz wat kind of jerk have i been lately?
Dint talk much also..
Infront of all friends now i am the most(UP MOST quite 1)
only know how to smile.
But luckly my smile is not a fake 1 anymore...
the fake 1 kinda fade away d...
Let go is also a type of way to love a person so...heh knew it earlier then that but
Now only know how to apply...
Well back to work lu~~~ so dam boring at here
but its nice meeting up with new peoples...kinda starting to like it..
All the best to every1...
I dont mind a thing Mun is doing anymore(well lucky me)
But then still hope the best for her in her life bah...
And all my friends also Make sure live a GREAT life..
(Some times did tot of why i am still here stealing other people's oxigen)
but then everything happens for a reason i guess..
Without breaking my phone...my aunt wont be my 1st customer d...
Without working here i wont meet up wif so many new people..
Well hope to know whats new....wats next(keep my life going bah) hehe
SY arh...u arh i sometimes dono how to comfort u...as a friend...when let go(xiao sa abit)
When got that time (appreciate everysingle juice from it)
When dont have time just let it be la...aiyoo
Dai dai how are you owh? i so dam long dint update my Blog d...
Sommore lately dint even sms u...
Dono how are u doing in Subang also.. kinda miss u thou hehe
Kenny...Jia you on ur work bah..u can do it...Regina gam ba teh on ur DEGREE
James All the best on ur exam which is coming up soon..
And tate ko later i will phone or text u...
Wendy i dono how are u d but on the july 24 i will go cari u(hope u in office la)
Well wat else?? HC arh hc how are u d? my RM4??
Rayz ur server if need help let me know la...
Anyway M.R.E.T is a good technology to know of...
i realise this technology will improve people's health
If possible i hope every single family have one...
But then if wana know more about the product
(Come and FIND ME IN QUEENSBAY MALL PENANG)
And tian, okok i forgot d...
Anyway jia you on your work ya tian... lolx
now who ealse i left behind??

Camp pictures pictures...

The most memoriable moments for me in da Camp...swt

(i also dono why this can happen)

Drama...drama....

Morning exercise that i PONTENG(wakaka)

After the game..thats what it looks like

Should be the last game that we are playing d...

Kesian me la...aiyoo kena hold him up...zzz

This is the 3rd or 4th game we played i soo not so clear about it d...

This is before we play...starting that time...lolx

Abit blur but this is the 1st station outside the room...lolx




Well actually got tons more..abit lazy to post d...

when too free that time will come and post la..lolx

Hmm think back alittle bit miss the camp but...ok la

Atleast ada untung sikit..lolx

Nice camp..Nice expereince.. and also a unforgettable one..

OMG my head why senget one?!!! lolx

This is the Green Team Guyz!! Check it out!!

From behind is Me(left) and Daniel(right)our team leader
Front is Hui Yin( 1st Left) Jen (2nd Left)
Grace(Middle) Oliver boy(2nd from right) Jian Er(1st from Right)

Was not there so i dint know what you guyz were up to..

But sorry hope you all will forgive me for leaving early..

Well...hmmm WHy did i gone to this camp anyway?

At 1st frankly from the bottom of my heart...i was only thinking about my business STG....

Then...When i reach i was FREAKED OUT wif the Dance..truely from my heart i did disliked it...

But then... still dispite disliking the dance....(but enjoyed alot about the whole program)

Well saperated after reach there(we 4 Hyper seniors) Me, Jerome, Joshua and.. the person who INVITED us... MICHELLe!!!(no la actually is Michael) we called him Michelle

Dont wan blame u d..

since i also get some (Unexpected experience) on the last performance when sing that timE...

walao was shocked haha... also stunning...

Well Inside the team actually got 7 of us.

Our Leader(form 1 Daniel)

Members are...(Hui Yin, Jen Hui Wen, Grace Hui Wen, Jian Er, Oliver Teoh and ME)

Well i was not the leader but...=.= dono how to say

Was the Eldest one...

Lead abit on the Station game but(kinda over my limited)

Sicked for 2 days hope tomorrow will be fine...

Hmmm back to the day one...Friday...

when reach that time i tried to joked but...

Ben(that guy) was not such a person to deal with jokes

Too boring ady him haha...

But nvm well that Miss Beh...(made my cousin Jerome dislike her) dono why..haha

Then that was day one...

Well not what we expected but still its somEthing that was outside our estimation.

Michelle got a wife from the camp...and alot of fans...

Joshua also quite famous but ok la...i not sure about him..

Jerome as usual the cool and unspeaking person..

but he's a very nice person and cute 1 if u try to chat wif him

Well all of these below will be just advises and also something i wana say to you guyz

(The Green Team)..

Jian er, you are soo active..lolx nice to have you there in the team and i wont forget WE ARE THE GREEN TEAM...

Jen Hui Wen, hope i dint spell wrong, You are doing fine..

Just alot of things for you to learn still must keep it up... Dont feel shy

Try ur best...things will end up the way it should be..

Daniel my leader kid..

You did well on trying to lead as a leader..

But then u need more courage and confidence to lead...You did great...

Hui Yin right? lolx You arh...You are a great speaker...

But try ur best on controling your panic level.. lolx once you've panic
Your mind is still on but... u might forgot what u nid to speak on...

Oliver my boy...LOL you need to learn your patience...

Maybe you've learn how to do some but you need to learn how to emphatise other people dude..

Grace Ooi, Now now..hmmm well all i can say is... nonid so serious in doing things ...

But then its kinda your nature so i dono what to say about it..

And your performance was GREAT... so its not needed for you to say sorry k? lolx...

You did fine la...but when you serious that timE very fierce neh...hehe

As for me.. I hope Green Team can evaluate me ...but then thanks for all the notes you've left for me in my envolope...

Any comments on me just let me know...hope to know more about how people look on myself...hehe

Hmm Some memories that i will cherish...

And about me? i've got something that i can cherish the most bah... LOL*actually got it on the last second performance...

When singing....(lip sing actually)

Hmm what a waste forgot to get the contact from my partner...

All i can say is that both of us was so...into it

Maybe too serius on the performance d...

I dono how she felt la but... I was really stunned by her ...

LOL..Miss Grace u zialat lor... like that (use ur electricity eyes shock me)

It was so stunning that..i totally was amused by you le...lolx

Grace Ooi right? hehe hope to know u more thou...

Nvm...cant even get to know more about you also..hope to have the chance..

Hope to meet u soon...hehe

Hmm actually...

i wana sing the song with you while we are still at the camp (the 1 that u want to sing)...

Wang Lee Hom - Ni Shi Wo Xin Nei De Yi Shou Ge

But there was no chance for us to sing hehe

I also dono weather you want to sing with me or not also..

Just hope that we had the chance to do so...lolx

Hmmm its an unexpected experience that i will Remember forever bah...

Time to stop and put somE picts in..

I want to put some the Video of our performance(expecially the song part) but then..

I still haven get the video... will be able to post two pictures only...haha

Will post the video once i get it...

What a day today was...

Early morning Woke myself up on 7.30...end up waking up at 7.45..
Then..what happen i went to coll..
End up parked at a damn far place..
After parked my beautiful car... Went to search for syiling..
kena boom lor...
Dont have!!
So i plan to go class 1st then ltr break time go put in money...
then reach class Bernard was so cute he was trying to...
April Full all of us..
I knew it after he mentioned that he got meeting but keep on adjurn the meeting time..lolx
hmmm well we play a prank on him back in the end so ..consider a tie..

In the end before break time and before the prank,
i changed some syling with classmate then rush back...
Luckly the bloody MPPP person still writing the car before mine,
around 300 meter far away...
I saw and i RAN like a mad cow...
Before i reach my car...
that fella ady rode his BIKE and was going to start writing on my car..
Phew luck came to me...
He dint write yet and i manage to PERSUADE him not to write..
End up go back to class that timE hyper exhousted....

Yet still class ended early so i went to Sungai Petani..
Today to handle all the Registration of my SPM resit..
Wow cost me more then RM 50 to settle everything..
Now i am worried...
WOrried about my money...
Where am i going to get more money to help my family now..
I ady so dry...
My father oso headache d..
I am trying to help thats all...

Well time flys... i beta get working on the conclusion...if not
Regina sure kill me sia..
Beta get going tata record later then...so exhousting
After reaching back at Penang straight go work.. aihz... tired...=.=

† Man Zai †

A months or so?

Well comming back to write gave me back all the memories of doing diary..
But then its been a months since I've been blogging...
Lately just busying with all the workloads and just got a news yesterday..
Sze Yee: "Due Date for Term Three is NEXT MONTH har"
Joel: " Orh...."
omg so fast...lolx April got to finish it up??
haha okok will try my best...keep on going right?
Thats my slogan for the past years

Lately was enjoying life actually..

Went working + study is stressful but...

Go hang out till early morning then only go home..

wow the feeling was like so nice,

and its been awhile since i've been doing that

Last night only went for gaming at Strike II

well end up leaving there at 3am..

lolx reach home around 3.30 slept at 5..

Today woke up at 11am..

Later 3pm going to swimming...

Well maybe day timE too stress d..

Kept on working study assignments..

So at the night go destress awhile...

Yesterday kena perli again lor...

Manatao i die nobody help me all run away za diok...

Left4dead la...aihz...

But then lately i seems to forget somthing

maybe i dint have much time for it...

totally dint have the time to spend on sms..

I better keep in touch wif all my friends back if not later..

Cham lor..

Dai dai sorry ya? i dint even post my blog..

Will sms u more k? hehe

Then hmm walao a shocking news...(to my friends actually)

Carmen got Married..wif 6..eh wait 5 arh? forgot liao lolx

She now married to so many husbands

(I dint mention it clearly coz I was lazy to tell also)

(Actually the husbands are Thick books where she spends all her time with)

I perli her use eh "Husbands"

haha

Shes just hardworking girl who kept herself in the room all the time bah..

So many people misunderstand but nvmla...lolx

Carmen, actually hor...i really scare when u come back u become a saint...

Not to say what la but the way u see things totally change jor lor...

hehe no comments on dat coz its not a bad thing thou...

But try not to keep the answer"Because this is India" in ur mind to much k?

Because its freaking me out lately..(abit maybe not use to it) lolx

hmmm wow actually think back damn alot of things happen ler...

Things that made me learn more..

(Boss Scolding me like mad or the past few days)

Boss sorry if i made any mistakes but thank you for giving me chances

Chances to correct those mistake and learn from it..

Then although the pressure he gave me was much more then i expected

still i learn how to face wif those pressure already.

I dont wana write too long,

But then there is this annoying girl(somtimes la) not all the time

She's like so i dono what da hack she's thinking eh girl gua

Thats why she make me felt annoyed..

But then this girl yesterday suddenly Cubit me..

say TRY ..zzz

Za diok dono what happened to her

nvm la luckly she dint twist...if she twist i dono how liao

Coz i did "challenge her go fight" but

I never fight wif a girl before..

And i dont wana do that..lolx

so even if we fight i sure lose mia...haha

Beta dont find an argue wif her beta lolx

Things changes...My mindset changes...

Even my concept all change ady..

But one thing that i really am afraid of is that..

i will forget how it felt when i fell in love...

Its been awhile that i dint even know how was it to feel

To feel the feeling of love...lolx

I still want to have da feeling but hope it comes?

I wont hope for a third chance in love life..

My second chance was rejected by Mandy..

So to her i really no feel jor...lolx

And I really hope i wont forget the feeling of Love

I want to remember it for life..

Sweet, sour, bitter,and alittle bit of spicy...

I do still remember now hope it can last forever then..

K i got to fetch my younger bro to his school d...

Later tonight Confession must be made at church..

Twice a year...

5 min once..

3 mins of telling all my sins that i have commited..

But the past half year seems like dint do much thing wrong besides...

Chiawzz if i dont stop here

I dono when my brain i going to stop

...

Will continue when I am alittle bit free and suddenly tot of nothing to do...

† Man Zai †

Purposely or not purposely?

Its been awhile since i've been blogging,
Lately was too busy and...
Stressin myself, my body and my mind up..
Slept 2~4 hours per day for the past few weeks..
Busy for exams, studies, relationships, and...
Family matters...

Now exam has passed, assignment still keep on comming,

Relationships got beta (between friends) and

Family matters seems to be better then before..

Actually i got so much things to tell to mun,

Alot of things to ask her...

Alot of things i want to share with her in the past few weeks,

but lately we barely talk....

that seems like ...

there is a huge wall between us already..

Misunderstandings and all those unidentified problems issues,

I dont know how...really dont know...

A friend have just passed away again,

She's not the 1st friend of mine who passed away so i dint felt so hard to get use to it..

I think its hard i can say for those who is their 1st friend...

Hard to accept the fact that she did pass away just like that...

We humans appreciate friends, atleast i did..

And mun i ask da question because i want all those who is very down or depress,

To accept the fact that people do die,

Death is not sumthing to be sad to,

Actually death teach us and let us grow more....

But then coz of death we lose all friends, a lot of memories..

And also we will be creating alot of pain and problems for the people who is surrounding us..

But then if we do accept the fact that death is somthing that we are going to see in the future,

We should appreciate all the presents that the GOD have gave to us..

Everything we have now..

Anyway From the past i hoped that Mun can be the closest friend i can have..

Now she's sort of became the worst friend i can have..

I dont know why...

But its a fact now...

Meet a new girl,

she's going to Study outside of Penang soon,

hope to know her more..

She had a smile which gave me the 2nd time of .....

But maybe we just dont have the fate to meet up,

if we do i hope to know her more..

Did i purposely or not purposely dislike Mun?

I dint dislike her, but the way she speaks to me...

Its like she dint even want to talk to me...

Maybe that time starts

the heart of caring for her faded away....

Now All i care is to my friends and family and i hope i can meet up wif Da right girl..

Regina pull a prank on me at Val's day...

Made me look like a dumb ass infront of her and that little sky..

but then its quite nice to get prank once in awhile..

But then lolx my BRO also dint tell me ..*(i am talking about you JAMES)* lolx

Dont mind la i dint mind also haha

Anyway why i trust Regina so much...lolx

coz i cherish the bond that we have??

Haha or i purposely believe in her coz she's a friend to me?

lolx anyhow anything will happen in the future but

the friendship we had will last forever..

Friday night (7pm)...

when i reach home...

collapes like a dead person..

But at 10pm plus Tate ajak me out

we go play game till 4am..

haha... so nice then 7am at saturday go do exercise Jogging at Air Itam Dam,

So damn nice...lolx

afta that?? what did i do ?? reach home nia fall apart

(coz of the tiredness...slept for nearly 20 hour continuesly)

then skip working and

dint make it for my mom's event sorry ma....

Finally its sunday went to church and now stuck at home doing notes

Still abit tired but cant keep on sleeping right?

Still need to find a boost for my life..

But where to find?

Find KM?? lolx wont gua i dint know much about her also

Although she's the som1 I met(from da above statement)

But her smile will last forever in my mind bah..

Nice person but dint even said hi to her..

LOL that day i was too tired when I 1st met her

But anyway heard that she's going to study at dono where d

Perak or Kedah forgot d...

But KM(if u read this) Gam Ba Teh on ur studies..

Hehe

Lolx...

if I really got The chance

really wana go hang out wif her..

But then maybe there is no chance ad gua

Heard shes going on March..whcih is 1 week from now...lolx

Ok lets stop here continue next time when I have da mood to write...

† Man Zai †

February 14...

FInally its today...
well dint know why after havin a relationship i wish today ...
i wish today got people can accompany me...lolx
but then its just another ordinary day right?
but then the lonelyness why come 1? I just dont want to feel it again...
I got to admit...its good to be in a relationship but...
Its hard to mantain it...
I will do my best if i were to be in another relationship in the future...
But then all is just talking...Lazy to go ady la...

Last night i was at Tate's place studying(actually dint study much also)

Then saw the video last time 2~3 years ago..

One of my friend show me when i failed in chasin a girl..

That Motivation talker gave me the urge to move forward..

Get going in my life...continue finding...

I suddenly have the feeling of wana go find another one...

All of the urge is back but..

This time i really am scared...

Scared of losing another person again...

I am not scared of getting hurt...

But scared that will lose a person after i put hyper alot of efforts on her...

All i want is not a normal person's love life..

I want it to be a perfect 1...

Slowly la... I know i need time..

Maybe its not now?

Maybe it is? who knows...

I am no God..

But a passanger that god sent to earth..

How i hope i can have a date on Feb 14...haha

But then have date also must think we (guyz) have to pay ler...lolx

hahahaha...

What a thing...

human keep on complain...

why cant i just stop complaining...

Single life is nice but lonely....

Life in a relationship its not lonely but...

Its issues, if no issues then good la...but i dono..

I want but somehow at somepoint i dont want...lolx

what was i thinking so zialat..

Maybe today i want it but tomorrow dont want it...

But i can say is that if i have it i will appreciate it...

Happy Valentines day to everyone..

Mun...happy vals day ...

Happy Valentines to all my friends and family...

Dai Dai Happy Valentines ...

Howz ur day? got new boy boy?hehe...

† Man Zai †

Past few days of rejections...made me decide ady

These few days.. after a stupid action i made..lolx
I really go and tell her i still love her..haha
she should be hating me more now...
but then i think should be ok la...
Everything is fine now...just i think she dint even want to meet me anymore..
Well i am fine with that..
Wish her can be with her current crush forever then..(i cant do much d)
Tired of fallin in love...
Tired of everything...
After several night of cant sleep now i realise..

I am to late..haha

Remembered that time when she wants to get close to me?

Why i so stupid go luan luan think at that period...

Hahahaha

But then shes right also la...not wrong pun..

just my act makes our relationship say bye bye..

Ok lets get on with my life bah..

Finding ways to know more girls..

hehehe

Later hope i can fall in love again..

(try to go meet up with a girl) but then aihz...

i also dono la..

All i hope now is that

Someone who can suddenly want to spend the rest of her life with me...

(make sure its my cup of tea 1st lor) lolx

Tired of finding but if i dont find where can get...lolx

Life's really short..well going to my friends house soon then go hunt for chicks...lolx...

Chiawzzz(hope really can la)

Well at here i wish all my friends and my Ex(Happy Valentines Day)

Wish you all can be with da person you really love...

make sure u all stick together long long arh

must trust each other and..care for them

always think what they feel if u do something, not what we feel when we do it.

(this is what i dint make it gua) Hehehe...

Kz wish me some luck also...thanks..zz

† Man Zai †

Fever never gone down...

Lolx..
So stupid can think that my ex can really come..
I know today i will be having whole day home until night time go work..
Pass things for my boss then continue rest liao lor..
Beta stay alone also...
If not later the fever spread i more xiao ki...lolx
Hmmm after telling out how i felt really made me feel better...
but only abit..
I know why mun dint want to answer..
Because shes scared that she will be da person who say Break up again...
She always scare that she got hurt or the other half got hurt..
Actually mun arh...
why care so much?
The most important thing is ...
we really loved each other ..
If we did somthing wrong..
We always know that other half will forgive..
Because when once person loves another...
for sure they will forgive them nomatter what..
I can understand now how much it hurt when i said those words to you...
Sorry ya mun...really sorry please forgive me...
But now i want to do is..
To redo my mistakes..
make it not to be a mistake thats all..
And...
Here will be the last time that i am going to mention it on my blog...
Mun arh I Love You...
forever I will until u said u no longer want to be with me anymore..
hehe dint know why i so stubborn...
If u really scare that both of us will get hurt...
Then lets try to do it this way...
Accept that each person also ada salah and find ways to fix the problem..
Can?
I dont mind u go out wif any1...
coz we sure will meet new people in life.
Just tell each other thats the correct way,
Not like last time go out also nid create so much lies..for what?
scare hurt tiok another half?
when they find out lagi hurt right?
lolx aihz...
say no lies..
but end up full of lies..
after break up lagi more lies to make us feel beta...
ok la i go finish up my work..
later night time nid to go to my workplace hope by then i wont feel dizzy...

So that i can drive properly...

Regina Kenny and Timi...

have a safe trip down to KL lor..

Dai Dai...sorry ya?

made u worried...

i'm fine..just fever i can handle it..

Think too much cause tons of problem..

beta dont think just do what our heart desires and

what that is under our control...

I finally found back my courage to tell mun...

found back my courage that I kept in the fridge for so long d..

Frozen d lor..

now going to melt it with my fever..

Now spoken out what i felt le..

Hoping for the best but..

maybe it will be the worst who knows..

I Love her thats for sure...

But i also need to get going in my life right?

Cant just stop there and think..

Continue my life...

Need to find ways to get Tons of money

Thats when I can hold up a family...

Want to Bring my future Wife go travel..

Have fun...together..just 2 of us...

or maybe 3?4?(when got babies le) lolx..

Finish with my Dreams...which i dono weather it will come true or not..

Now Get back to reality...

Work work work...lets continue...

Full of working schedule that can make me busy

Busy liao ma wont luan luan think d lor..

But sickness please go away i need to stay healthy to catch up with the schedule

THe busy busy schedule..

How I hope I can cancel everything in my schedule and go out

go out on Alot of dates with the 1 i love the most...

Hehe...

And mun arh...

How are you owh lately?

I miss u but...did u miss me?

I wana talk with you but did u want to talk with me?

I want to be with you but do you still want to be with me?

I love you still and I know u cant forget the love that we had ...

still do you love me now?

Really want to know more about u mun...

but all this need you to give a chance le..

†Man Zai†