Get on Going with My Life

2012-01-16T23:27:00.002+08:00

Well Done Joel.. New year has arrived...
Its the 1st Year me Starting as a Diabetic Patient Type 2.
And its been diff 2 month since I've updated my blog..

Well 1 thing that Made my YEAR 2012 Full of Happiness... Is the Present I Receive From a Person whom I've been waiting for an answer(well which means we're just Friends now)....

Frankly to say.. I mean just a word in my mind, Why did u purposely gave me such an Surprise? I was SOo Damn Happy as if I would Really SHOUT out LOUD that day..
I thought I was DREAMING... lolx Well On end of December, the only person who gave me a Birthday PRESENT for 2012 with a surprise in it...

Hmmm, Well I really wonder now if you really have feelings for me.. or you just treat me as a friend..
I... well have been 暗恋 situation for like the past few years..(few as in above 3)..lost track.. but still..
If u dint sent me the present.. I would just continue do what I did for the past few years...

Frankly to say I just have the urge to ask u “我们交往吧”.... LOL but in reality I might not have the courage since that day(although i forgot when was it) but I do still remember u telling me..

"When I want a GUY(or)Boyfriend, I'll look for one" which was told to me 1 year ago...

Since then I never even dare to nag or appear in ur msg.. Because I know.. 80% of the messages that I text you never really have a reply due to *what kind of msg are u sending me* in ur mind..

Well I cant just Text u "I Love You" just like that can I?... LOL

So I ended up text you things like "Good Morning" or "How's Life in KL"
Well I really do hope that u would waste some money just to reply i'm fine or Good morning and stuff.. But for you, I will think that its better Not to reply.. so you can save more money on phone bills.. hehe..

Well its been few years I've got no replies most of the time that I did not give up but stop bugging your phone.. I'm afraid that one fine day u may dislike me or hate me for being "Annoying"..

So Now my life is to keep my body in shape and work hard for what i've aim for.. minimum a house to stay... which is another 2 years down the road.. and also a good income... for now its like reduced to 2k+ per month which suck up most of the time..

I need more new things to improve my income.. and I really cant wait to meet her with an excuse(Lets go discuss about the business that u want to talk to me) haha
Well I do hope it works but I'm just afraid that she's too busy while she's in Penang which most of the time she hang out with her 姐妹 or family instead of looking for me...

Well this kind of situation I'll just focus on my work.. but It troubles me and made me shed tears during driving alone going back home(during that period sometimes when I tot of me being single or.. I don't even know why) I shed tears .

Well then back to the Year of Dragon.. I'm a DRAGON but I'll work harder just to improve my life...

Target SET Just let things Happen.. like a Padre once told me,
Pray, Hope and don't Worry..^.^

For now Savings will help a lot in years to come...
And 1 more thing
I love you..
*To my Family, Friends, blog walker and most especially her)

Its been 4 months

2011-11-09T00:21:00.004+08:00

So.. i did not realize how fast time travel..
4 months have passed since i knew i have Diabetic..
Was a shock at 1st but thanks to it i am now under (overweight List) no longer Obesity.

Now my Weight is averagely around 94kg to 96 kg..
Well also thanks to it now i know where my limit is and where i can boost more..^.^
Thank god for blessing me all this kind of things even thou i'm in a very serious situation thou..
My family members supported me MOST.. and also Friends(close ones)..

Within this period i learn alot about health and food consumption which will cause what kind of illness.

But then my target.. is now Lacking alot.. from what I set this year...
I've grown thinner now.. well i still feel that i'm fat BTW..
But then alot of friends whom i did not meet up for longer then 3 months all was kinda shocked when they saw me.^.^
Happy for that thou..
Well i'm glad that now i dont know why but i feel like to let go all things and just live my life to the max..

The things i planned seems changed alot in the schedule.. Time.. and incident..
Just few months have change my life totally..^.^ should i be happy or sad? i dono..
Coz now i can see no future in me.. due to" ahem.. well i might collapse anytime any moment.."
That's diabetic.. u wont know when or what its attacking but it will one fine day..

From now on.. I have new goals..
Food Consumption + Medication must check daily..
Sugar level in blood must check daily..
Healthy Lifestyle is already a MUST..
Income must grow have to make new moves..
Time flies so.. b4 i'm 25 i have to finish the task and continue with my degree and Masters Degree...
used up more then 3 months to recover from the hospital medication..

Now is time to FIGHT!!
btw.. Why am i still single?... LOL
Alot of people dont believe me=.=
But I am.. I'm not seeing any girls now.. just focusing on work.. WTF..
I should Balance my life up.. LOL.. Time is short!!

Well I better get to bed now.. TMR morning Hiking!! hope can capture some pictures but i dont bring my phone to hike all the time..^.^ so.. hehe..
Nitez all thanks for viewing my blog..

Hi People's Lets Smile More^.^

2011-11-03T11:48:00.004+08:00

When time pass by.. i realize alot..
not to say I'm being mature or something,
Its just that now I realize how important it is even if you're not a somebody..
The existence of everyone is important..
by just living all life to the max will show alot of difference in the society..

For me I've learn how to live without her being around..
Although i got to admit i cant simply let go.. and i know alot of Guys still Tackling her..
I felt afraid of one fine day she'll tell me that she's in a relationship..
Today i saw another guy waiting for answer..
Well its obvious..

If she comes back for Christmas..
I'll sent her one last present..
In it will be my last invitation..
I will just accept the fact that she's not into me and move on if she rejects,
I'll also let things be and move on in my life if she dint give in any answers..
But if she wants me to wait i'll be here Penang waiting(while fighting for my career)

Its true that we must have a balance..
I felt one thing from the lesson thought via Experience..
If I have my career and Money..
but I don't have another half to spend with..
whats the purpose of having it at the 1st place?

So I need to balance up everything now..
If not I'm afraid I might not be able to get married b4 age of 30.
I'm afraid of Loneliness as others does so..
Hmmm I BET I must continue save money to create more business opportunity in life now..
Focus on business 1st Time will come if it is mine.
I must take action by then..^.^
Consequences, I will accept it and move on^.^..

我喜歡你、但我不敢愛你

2011-10-20T15:05:00.001+08:00

我喜歡你，那我可以憑一時的衝動為你做好多好多的事，不計較你是否喜歡我；

但我不敢愛你，因為如果愛你，我會期望你為我做同樣的事，時間久了我會不平衡。

我喜歡你，那我可以傻傻地喜歡著你；

但我不敢愛你，因為我認為愛，應該是相互的。

我喜歡你，那我可以一直很激情地瘋狂地；

但我不敢愛你，因為愛太理智，我總會在對比中迷失自己。

我喜歡你，那我可以默默地，偶爾跳出來嚇你一跳；

但我不敢愛你，因為愛太需要一直好好表現，永遠拴住你的心，我暫時還沒有那個自信。

我喜歡你，所以我才會那麼多那麼多看似瘋狂而不靠譜的事情；

但我不敢愛你，因為你的愛太難得到，我想留下的是我一心一意喜歡你的回憶。

我喜歡你，所以我才會默默地不做聲，期待你的音信；

但我不敢愛你，因為愛的要求總是太多，我沒有資格要求什麼。

我喜歡你，所以我才想貼近你的生活；

但我不敢愛你，因為你似乎沒有想要瞭解我。

我喜歡你，才會告訴自己要高貴一些；

但我不敢愛你，因為我不想讓自己變得卑微。

180Degree Change in My Life..

2011-08-12T23:06:00.003+08:00

Its been awhile since i've been blogging again, i'm back..^.^

Well this time i got this to share with you all... A thing that changed my life 180 Degree..

Cool Right? Well I Didn't expect it to be this way either..

It all start when i went to Langkawi... I took alcohol like drinking water..

Its been awhile since i've enjoyed so much Alcohol but.. It was a beginning of a Nightmare to me..

After a week the effect start to take place... My liver and Gall Bladder went outbound but i dint realize.. i still thought it was gastric, so.. took a couple of injection and gastric med It was of no help and i manage to hold it for 1 week before i went into hospital to check it out whats wrong...

After 2 days suffering pain and egony in hospital i found out that my gall bladder was stuck by a stone in it.. and My liver was infected and grew until 16CM long.. which is quite unbelievable..

SHOCKING to found out this but i got alot of antibody and injection to cure it and manage to avoid operation...

Now the best part that change my life is this..

Well On the 5th day after they made alot of test on me.. They found out something which i was SHOCKED to hear from them.. I'm now a Diabetic Patient..

SHOCKING RIGHT?!! lolx I was shocked at 1st.. but from discharge until now its been 2 weeks...
I'm getting use to all the changes.. Starting from Food to Lifestyle to activities.. All have changed..

I told myself NEVER regret on what i do in the past, Endure and Learn From it, Face the facts in the Present, Future will come when it should be there..

Now i really learn how to live healthier, but sadly i cant take all those delicious foods anymore..
Water wize.. i bet Plain water will be with me until the day i pass away..
Its a huge change including now my wieght.. its leaving me .. soo fast.. i cant believe i can have such a nice body shape lately..

Should i THanks god for all this blessings? Continue my Super Duper positive thinking? or should i just ....

Well I've already chose a path, I Thank Dear Lord Jesus, Almighty Father who bless me this. Everything happen for a reason in Life. I know now. Thanks for teaching me this way GOD.

Well what really worries and disturbs my feelings lately is that.. I don't know weather i'm still qualify to date a girl whom i love (1 sided) since I last broke up(2yrs and 3 month ago).. Her name is Carmen,Y.
(Cant put her full name later she know..)

Well frankly to say i was never being able to let her go since... (should be 4 years ago already..) when we 1st Met in a class in SEGi..

But now thinking back, she had such a strong family and soo many admirer looking forward to date her.. and she's now living her life in KL(Kuala Lumpur). I'm now in Penang...

So.. i was going to date her out during her holiday in Penang u know? (oMG i feel like talking to a Blog while i write this) .. but then now.. think of it. i'm afraid that she'll tell me not to... like she use to tell me back then(she would not want to have Boyfriend but when she wants she'll go look for it)
That's when i told her (When you want to look for Boyfriend, Please put me on the list)

Hahax stupid me. now i do wish she'd take me OFF the list... I'm no longer in a healthy condition to be with her anymore.. i might make her worry MORE(like when i went into hospital.. she WORRIED) i was like OMG why did i make her worry...

She might still not know that i have Diabetic.. so i'm so confused lately. I really do hope some1 can consult me.. give me advise on what i really should do.....

Lately i've been working real hard despite all the pain that my body have been causing me..
I want to forget about Love.. I loved a person for soo long.. am i stupid?......

I dont know now..

Thanks to blogging i can like type out what that is corrupting in my mind.. But then I hope this will not make me regret, I'll continue my work.. Date her as plan.. But i might not express myself to her.. i'm afraid she might get into a hard position where she'd afraid to lose a friend (if she say no) and if she loves me then everything will go well but we are separated from KL to Penang.. that might cause a problem for her.. i guess its not a good time to do that.. So...

Its Decided then.. (well frankly to say she might not even agree to come out with me on a date) so..
Lets not put so high hope since she's busy on her studies.. let her be.. She'll be fine cause i Believe in her....

Well Lets talk back to my life now.. 180degree change..
I have to work out every morning.. work at noon and night.. so i'll be healthy i hope..
Its time to bed now it took me 30 minutes just to put out all my crap that's in my head...

PS: Dear God, Please don't Let Carmen.Y Found out about this Blog page, and pray hard for her not to stress herself too much, She can make it through her test. I believe in it she will..^.^
Bless her to be healthy too..^.^

Amen.
Nights all and thanks for those who's been viewing my blog..^.^ Please continue support me.. Advise me if can i'm now still struggling.. did i make the right choice?.. i'm still confused but i'll go with what i got if no other option came out which is better.. Nightzz. Sweet dreams..

Its goin to be end of June now..

2011-06-26T02:27:00.002+08:00

Well tonight i was suppose to be happy...
But then Love kinda strike me big time.. I'm insomnia again..

What a great day with excellent sales... And I'm goin to start a new business soon.. real soon..
Just that i wonder what kind of love will i really have?(as in relationship ones)..

Well I've been in love with a girl for the past 2 years.. but never tell her b4..
(Or maybe i did...) well she's in KL now so.. I'm so confused..

I felt like she might move on.. got a new life new challenge..
yet here I'm in Penang.. wondering how to tell her.. aint i stupid?....

Well i am thinking about something when this feeling which appeared few times b4..
It just pop out from nowhere.. now i'm having a dilemma thinking of what can i do..

Frankly to say nothing much..(rationally) but i wanted to do something for her this year... as a present.. ended up she told me (Don't want la simply give me chocs can d) LOL.. what a thing..

Well its 2.30am now what can i do.. can i just stop the time and space so i can rearrange all things out? i don't know.. I've been focusing on business and work for like 2 years now.. i wonder sometimes where am i now...????

I'm now like in a crossroad... but this time.. there are like 1 million path in front of me...
God please help me.........

Things that i've done past few weeks..

2011-05-19T01:15:00.002+08:00

Its been weeks since i've updated my blog...

Well during the past holiday(Wednesday) I've successfully gathered several of my primary buddy's to join me go Penang Hill... although some did not make it but.. hope they'll make it on the BIG MOVE...

These are some photos to share with..

The View below Penang Hill..

The Station have been(ahem) Upgraded...

It took us less then 15 mins just to reach from bottom to top..(its efficient i can say) but i still prefer the slow ones where we can enjoy the view's during the ride up & down.

I was surprised that they have the golf course car.. its provided for the visitors to end their visit without walking alot...
AKA lazy Tourists.

This is the view(kinda dark cause when we reach its about to rain d)

This is the (96KG) me on top of the 1st generation funicular cable car..

The Ice Kacang that we have after the Fearful visit of a (haunted mansion) In Penang Hill..
Luckily we made it out safely..

Something that interest me.. Looks Similar to tattoo..
BUT its Henna(Indian Traditional Body Art)
well..
at first i was shocked that the Indian culture would Adopt such a (Fashion) Design
But they have improve..
this show's that time have improve not only technology,
but also human's brain...

Well after that i went to work and during night time ..well i did something out of my control..
Help-ed my friend in his assignment i guess... but i'm in his movie..(Lame but) haha i was shocked to say ok when he asked..

Hope to see the video when he's done with it..
Well after all these days until Monday i fell ill.. very ill for the pass 2 days i was in High fever 39 Degree Cels...
But i still have to work.. so eventually i dint even go and ask her about meds that the docts gave me i just take la... i'm afraid that i would be annoying her or what.. i dont even know what she's busy-ing lately.. she just ignored my sms? or she dint get my sms.. i dont know what happened to her.. well despite being neglected by her..

All i can say is that i'm now still sick.. its thursday already... although fever has come down but this food poisoning is causing me more then that.. body ache.. vomit....
arh.. I prayed to god just so she's healthy and happy..
So would I be healthy..and happy

Well business going so far (good) only.. but better then nth ...

I want to grow.. after June i'll Burst out of the Hot Rat Race(i hope)..
but i dont think things will run well in such a short term.. so i'll work hard to achieve my target..

Neway.. since she's not able to read my blog or she may.. wanted just to ask her
Hey, How're you lately?
Still busy-in with your Scholarship?

Well from all those things.. i just want to listen to her talking or even reading what she type's in the computer via MSN or anything just to contact her...
Seems like she's avoiding me more then being busy...

Well just let it be?(again? like 4 years ago?) my god.. my close friend.. i cant lose her again...

lolx. what am i thinking.. she dint even want to get into a relationship.. and i'm (still not) a (candidate) of her chaser(or person who's chasing her)...

I'm just her friend...(atleast that's what i know of)... So then.. Back to my Struggling life.. its 2am in the morning now.. i'd better go to bed now.. Tata!! Nitezz people's

Thanks for those who's visiting my blog.. pls post a hi on the shout box..^.^

Insomnia

2011-05-09T05:04:00.004+08:00

Well its been awhile since i have insomnia.. its 5am in the morning.. i'm still awake...
Cut my finger this time but its alright.. just a small fracture...

Well whole day i was thinking of something which i'm not sure of..
I wonder whats that.. i cant really remember about it
The business from 2 branch to 1 branch... well the revenue increase... but branches lowered..

Sometimes places can indicate a business successful nor failure..
But then i'm not sure what i'm typing now.. maybe i'm lost once again?
But i was assure of what i wanted until.....
until.....
When was that?......
Until i meet a person who asked me the question 5 years ago a teacher asked me...

I cant really see what i want now...
I wanted to study..(SOO BADLY) but... i want my business to grow as well...

i cant do both together.. so.. confusing now..
How i hope i can chat wif her... but she seems like busy/avoiding to chat wif me?(Well i guess she's busy)
(If not so.. did i do something that made her misunderstand?) i don't know..

Well a good news is that i'll be FREE in PENANG for ...erm.. 2 days.. (Coming Wed and Thurs).. which is.. wait let me check the date... hmmmm 11 and 12 of May..

Kinda boring or bored lately... besides my routine and stuff.. exercise have been a good companion to me lately...
hiking/swimming/QiGongTraining/Martial Training AkA Weng Chun(i just remembered 8 sets out of so many...)...
but i wonder why do i do those things? just to distress?...What are stress to me?...
Lots of questions and i already have the answer... i just let my brain to stop functioning just for a short moment.. let the questions be the questions and answers be the answers..

I might be having a split personality.. but i dont think it is that way.. its just i'm idle-ing all the way since 1am just now until... now? 5.11am

I'd better go and try to get to sleep again.. nitez all sweet dreams..

Love sometimes makes a person go mad, but at the same time.. it makes the person feel alive....
^.^

Injuries...

2011-05-03T00:34:00.002+08:00

LOL.. its been awhile.. or aka 6 months i've been a hawker..
ITs the 1st day while cooking the friking Oil Fly from the POT and Touch my right eye.. i'm now semi Blind for today..

Well its called a careless/ or an accident i suppose..
Hope the swollen eye will recover soon.. lucky me..

The whole day i was out of my mind.. well not to blame but to think of..
i kinda start to miss HER..
OMGF.. i told myself to not to think about relationship.. what am i doing now?... i wonder eh? sad to say but happy to feel about..

Time flies.. its been a few months since we've meet up...
hope when she's here next time (maybe august?) we can go out on a date/exercise....
well.. May all her things go smooth and well(part of my daily prayers already)..

Keep things goin.. i'm going to Thailand(i dont know which part but will be on TRAIN) so... hope she can join me but i have to guts to invite her.. LOL lausy me..
Well time flies.. i better go to bed tomorrow HIKING!!!

Nitezz

Tired but ...

2011-04-16T02:00:00.002+08:00

Well its been quite some time for me to think of my relationship...(well frankly to say.. too many people ask about it and i dont even know how to answer well).. usually i'll say.. Hey i'm single I'm happy^.^ that's all..

But then.. i dont know how.. or what i really can do about it..
The situation is..(i want to start up this business build it up and it might take another year to be strong)... i felt lonelyness mostly at night during the path back home.. i am just focusing fully on my business now... although the pay now did increase just by abit.. per month and its still a distance from my target... but shall i just stop thinking about relationships and start fully (i really mean it) focus in my buzz?

There is one situation here.. the girl i love.. now is in (not in penang) and she wanted to chase over her dreams... as normal girls would have choosen the path..
now.. She told me about her choices.. i gave her my answer of the choices i HOPE she'd choose and yet...(well i am quite confused) at the moment... i really want her to choose the path that she has choosen b4 she tell me about and ask me which 1 i would like her to choose..

Complicated enough?
i wonder...
HELP ME if u see this blog... (well fb me will do>>)

Exited of my 2nd branch its another 4 days count down... FOCUS on WORK fully!! (i really want to do All things at once but i know if i do that.. all will fall and fail...)
I hope i can make it to the fashion part where i can well.. connect with "HER" atleast... kinda miss those old days when she's still in penang.. lolx..

She : Detective Conan...
Me : Shin Chan..
Well like now we are just friends...or can say close friends?... i dont know... well ignore all this for the time being... i cant help much even if we're in a relationship... i might ruin her life.. LOL
thats all i think about.. hope i'm wrong thou.. but its kinda true...

Time to sleep its 2am now.. Nitezz Keep get going on with my life...

Welcome Back ....

2011-04-03T01:29:00.002+08:00

Wow.. i just realize.. its been a year.. since i've stop Blogging...

Alot have changed... Well Now.. its time to set of what i have achieved...

Weight : from 139KG (Year 2005) now...
96kg..(Updated April 03 2011)
Income : from (Year 2005) 0... Now..
3k++ per month still increasing(2nd Branch gona open soon)..^.^
Business experience : From ( Year 2005) ... Until now...
1 year experience..^.^ gona Learn more still

Well alot of things have changed.. including my mind..
Frankly to say i would like to have a Good gf.. even if its a Long distance Relationship.. i wont mind...

Just that maybe she's just not prepared yet i guess.. well dont force things..

Focus on my branch 2.. opening in another 8 days time... All the best..^.^ Man Zai GOGOGO!!!

Time flies...

2010-04-05T14:55:00.002+08:00

Its been few months now... alot of things happened for a reason.. that's still a believe for me..

I've gotten into 2 business now...
Although earning still little but hope it'll grow as soon as possible..

Sometimes people say time cures everything...
(maybe i'm too stubborn of what) I'll always say time will only allow us to get use to things that are such ways which are not what we wanted it to be...

Well Let go or not i will still go to KL but this time.... its either Inti Subang... or Nilai Seremban..

Chances of changes between this two places are still there...
What to do..

I guess god really gave me alot of challenges in life..
Although some hurts.. some laughter... some smile... some cries...
Well Happy, Sad, Angry... Its all just part of life...

I now only remembered one things...
We dont want the final ending... all we wanted is to enjoy the process...

I guess its time for me to Go Full Force on everything then..

Dear God. Do Bless not only me.. but those whom i've loved... Hurted... Cherished and abandon by them..
Bless all of us to live happily... Smile everyday, stay healthy and...
Most of all being able to solve all sorts of problems in our life...

My dear friends... a friendship show's me alot of things as the path i go down..
I thanks those friends who've been standing aside me all the time .. all the Machi and the jie jie mei mei... lolx
Thanks for taking care of me in the past 10 years in the society...

Hmmm Since Easter just passed.. Jesus just arise... Let me arise as well..
ALL THE BEST JOEL!!

Hope to use my japanese name in KL life(Hideaki)~~ hehe

Welcome Back Joel

2009-12-06T02:03:00.001+08:00

Single life aint bad... Just its been as it was all the time...
She is the 1 made me not dare to think up front..
But then its good that now i know...
I just need to be myself..
Even if we were there for each other.. we wont mind what our mind is working..

Realizing this point for the 2nd time... Well I should have applied it man.. damn i was stubborn..
Back to topic...
For those who wanted a Job please contact me...(Company is offering pay from RM1.8k to 2.5k) But have to face with a tough hard and cold blooded interview...

Its time to let go Bro(to me la this phrase)
Its time to move on...
Its time to shine without anything dragging myself down(in my mind when i'm in a confuse mode i'd be dragged SLOWN DOWN...coz of mood Swing and the controling section is been done)
I'd stop my blogging for the sake of hers... but then i was wrong...
I'd stop myself from being myself... Haha
but did i? hehe who knows?

She's been viewing my Hi5 lately... i've found out since day 1...
But then aihz i dont know bah... maybe she really changed...
In sence of her heart...
I wonder when she said(when i love someone... i'm very loyalty to that person)... hmm how to judge her love on another person?
Who knows... maybe she knows..

Well then 21 counts... 1 Get 20 Lose.. LOL my up to date Record of Pikat girls... haha

Introducing WELLNESS CONCEPT TO EVERYONE!!!...
LETS GET HYPERED UP!!!
LETS GO GO GO!!!

† Man Zai †

Let me stop pin pointing...

2009-10-30T01:33:00.003+08:00

Well to be more clearer now my mind it does...
Maybe its because last night i had 7 hour sleep...so...

Hmm if time were to let me go back i would just turn 3 days back to go and slap (that time eh me)
Ask "me" to wake up!!
Learning from this lesson i can see if wana go with fault finding...
Both of us also got mistakes made...
But my attitude i never want to blame any1...

So stop pin pointing... its true at that moment when i lost my mind..
The thought of blaming on u did came out...
I bet u also got several times of that in your life...

Its the 1st time actually to be culculated... because that time i angry because of the mistake you made at your work...
but back to me... if i were to claim my EQ = 138
I should be able to handle it...
Emotion really is the main killer in relationship...

I'd told her to think twice b4 doing anything...
But did i think twice when i lose my mind?
NOPE... the answer is no...
I know now that she'll never forgive me... because to her... its my 2nd mistake...
Which is a DIE straight sentence...

I know that she'll be able to find a better person to be with her in the future..
Better then me 100 times should not be a problem..

Kinda felt like i am a jerk...
Hmmm well learn from mistake and keep get going on my life..
Its my MOTO right?

Well then dint know why still love her so deeply...
After hurting her making me felt guilty(her so called once again)

Well all i can say is that i will never step into BLOGGING again...
Its one of a source for me to type without thinking..
I'll just stop and this will be my last post... thanks

† Man Zai †

† Well its not the way i wanted but its wat she wanted †

2009-10-29T01:00:00.002+08:00

I've been staying up holding all the hurts that she've created..
FInally it burst like a balloon...

I am too tired... lack of rest... sommore work load tons of it...
I wana die...
some times i do hope that god will just take me away just like that...
Rather then putting me here.. loving a person who wont appreciate...
Caring her with all the extraordinary mind of her working...
i dont know weather caring for her is the right thing to do anymore...

I am tired...
Tired of my life...
Tired of me...
Tired of me for being so stupid to make the wrong move...
Tired of falling in love with a person who will never appreciate what love is...
Tired...

I still want to work out a finance for my family and my loved ones...
Still although all of this accured i still love her..
Dumb aint i?
fine watever the feeling of my heart shouting and my mind is telling...
I dont want to think anymore..
Since she dont want it...
I'd told her b4 i will never force the 1 that i love..
She don wan i'll just take away until she wants it then only see..
See how it goes in the future....

I'm tired of love...
Although love to me is something very important in my life..
Its one of my motive that makes me move further...

Its also an ingredient of hurt...
Being tired all truely...even if she dislikes me...
I just hope that she'll pick up her phone... sms me 1 word...
The word that will motivate me.. but seems like
She'll just ignore me for the rest of my life..

Somehow i'm glad that did happen u see?
Well once she'd let go of me... she'll be free...
Free from her so called burden(which is only the burden she created for herself)
Totally able to focus on what she "wanted consciously" and discarding all those "unconscious wants"

Although in the end... still i will be the 1 who will suffer the pain...
She also will but maybe lesser than what i am facing now...
Or maybe she dint suffer at all just got mad of what i've told her..

Time flies... i've only slept 3 hours in 48 hour time basis..
Going to collapse soon..

For now the 1st day i wanted to be alone...
But luckly still my K bro's and K sis's all still support me... not only them...
All my friends are still there for me...

Dint know why until now i still LOVE her...
Diao diok liao la...
nvm nvm just let it be...
Like she'd always mumble time heals...
In fact"Time let us to addapt to what we are facing"
i'll get use to it soon...
Soon enough...
Eventhough if i am waiting her...
Eventhough if i love her and wanted to wait her...
Do i really worth to let her torture?
or in anotherway to say...
Why did she torture someone she once cared the most?(for atleast afew weeks)
hmmm girls... i do understand them now...
I understand them because they will never being able to choose to listen either to their heart or to their mind...

Fine... EMO-ing person is like that 1...
I wont go and bother anymore(i hope i say here i really can make it) coz
All the time even when i said i wont care...
I still am worried about her....

Is this love?
not a question to be answered anymore i guess...
Lets get some rest tomorrow is another HUGE event day...
PS: Jes arh i'll be as busy as u are...so atleast i wont keep on making u "sneeze"(thinking of you)
And i remember my class is as such (SUNDAY 1st Nov) 12pm to 2.30pm BM i must do homework which now i have no time to do...
I will find maybe friday to finish it up or saturday night....
Last but most least... I miss you .....
Stupid eyes just stop shedding those tears... I've gotten use to all this pain aint i?

† Man Zai †

† Trying to get an ordinary love while fighting for an extraordinary income †

2009-10-26T09:59:00.002+08:00

Well all i wanted and i am still praying for...
I thank god for giving me such a great lover...
She's special, kind, and most important she's the one that i fell for...

For now its been sometimes since I've tried to avoid her or is it she's been avoiding me...
I don't know..
But then i just hope that;
My love will be like both loving each other..
Thinking of another when we are tired or doing nothing..
Or just simply loving them with the heart of prepared to help them anytime?

Maybe i am stubborn but I guess the way i keep on telling her i love her have cause her alot of burden...
Actually after 1 night of thinking I've realized...
Even if i loved her its not necessary to tell her...
By telling her will only making her think more...
The burden she once told me will hold her back more...

So... for now... i can't let go of this love..
I don't know how long i can hold it but.. at least after her birthday i hope..
Its quite tiring to love a person when they dint want you to love...
But then i can say should be the last 1 ady bah..
If she'd accept me before i give up,
Then we might just go on in the future..
If she'd rejected on the day she fell in love with another guy then...
I'll just wait until another (one of the 200k person)to pass by...this time..
I will CONFIRM (where i wont put any feelings in 1st) not like i am with current one...
Then until confirm she want 4ever kinda stuff where we want to settle down no more fooling around..
That's what i wanted bah... simple easy and lovely.. which will last at least until i die?

For now i will focus on my career building bah...
Need to attend more and more appointments...working hard
Although hoped to have a person behind me providing some moral support..
A simple voice of the loved ones shall bring tons of energy to me i guess..

Although frankly to tell when u cant be with your loved ones...
Or being rejected is kinda hurt but... i guess
I've got used to it already...
The heart full of scars...
The love which once empty now filled..
Which is also one of my false move i guess..

But is loving a person a wrong thing to do?(Excellent question but who to answer?)
I was once told...
"Everyone in this world deserve the love inside your heart" what does that mean?
I got the meaning when i started to change myself...
Treating everyone similar to others...
The word i understand is that not only the 1 i fell for deserve all my love...
Even my friends and family should deserve them too..

We cant love if we keep on judging right? We cant learn if we don't make mistake...
All of these feelings is just something inside me...
In order to master it...
The changes which i once feared of...
Lots of books helped me on self development...
Thanks to all the authors...

My target is to make my group repeating sales within 4 months time where it allows me to...
earn RM5k per months...constantly...
Then will go for 20k after that per month... slowly increase..

Hit it then i will enjoy for awhile...
BALI Island HERE I COME!!!!!!!!
STAR WALK i will be there...
Penang Bridge RUN WA LAI LIAO!!
ALL CHIONG ARH!!!!!!!!
Nearly forgotten... Mr Kim's work i am coming also...

† Man Zai †

† Unconciously became a burden to somebody important †

2009-10-22T09:02:00.002+08:00

Its been few months since i've decided not to give up..
But now the love that i once hold on tight have became a burden to the person..
The person whom i treated as important as my own life...
Now... knowing that the burden i've been for her all this while..
The heart pains...
The feeling of being your love'd one's burden...
This truely sucks..
Shall i give up? or i should hold on the love i have for her..
Because i still do love her... deeply..

All the thinking end up to me is that...
If I'd question GOD... I might ask...
Why do GOD give me the ability to foresee all types of possible future?
Why do GOD give me the ability to be able to connect to the spirit world?
If i were without these ability... wont she be more comfortable when she's with me?
I guess its not just that bah..

Including now her list in her mind is career & studies...
no more love.. well i respect that bah..
Allow me to reduce all types of burden that i've been creating for her then..
Its the most least i can do for her..
1stly she never accepts any helps..
She's face all types of hardship by herself..
She's been in the market now...
She can choose what type of guys she likes now..coz her price aint low..
I just cant hold her too tight then.. let her choose..
Respect her choice...
I know the chances of choosing me if i do so will be 0.000000001% but..
Should be worth while doing...
Being able to help her to reach the ladder of success..
Any type of sacrifices will be perfectly ok...
Still i hope she'll be with me in the future.... thats all i can say for now...

Since the decision being made...
I've successfully made her ignore me d..
I'll just let it be...
By making her ignoring me should be able to reduce alot of burden ady bah..
Hehe a capricorn really is able to make everything work according to his plan...
But then at the same time... My heart aches...
Dint know why... maybe if i do so... i'll lose her in the future..
Well its her choice not mine.
She already voice up she want to be free...
I'll give her freedom alright...
I'll just be there doing nothing..
With this no more burden, she can focus more yet, she's being able to be free...
Suits her right?

The hurt that i am facing... i've faced them b4...
No big deal... just another failure i suppose?
But then why is that everytime i'd love someone truely...
GOD will just create so much barriers for me to face?
To give me a test on my love life?
TO make our bonds together much more stronger?
Or.. just simply dint want me to fall in love?

PS: Its an answer that i will get after i die bah... hehe

Atleast for now... lets do my best to reduce every possible burden that once i've cause her to have in the past...

† Man Zai †

† How i hope you were there †

2009-10-16T19:40:00.004+08:00

2 days already i'm in this pain and agony...
The problems and issues due to my failure of judging one person had caused me..
How i hope that you are right behind me holding me tight and say...
"Everything will be fine, I'll be right here supporting you"
"Must jia you owh...hehe" add on with a smile...

My brain nearly cracked due to the thinking of how to solve all this problem that i am facing.
Then unconsciously I've come through this which i should have not...
=.= why did i press it when my curiosity made me to...
Its the same thing she replied to me before...
Now it seems like she's already fallen for another guy? or its just an advise from her??

I just all of the sudden i felt... I've lost her...
But some times she makes me feel that i am still in her (Choice) list...
I wanted to be her one and only name on her (Choice) list....
but...
I dont know...

1st time ever when I'm not with her i got this uncertain feeling...
But still the box i kept inside my heart the love keeps spreading out from the box..
and slowly it had already filling up my empty heart again..

I wanted to cry...i wanted to lie down with someone,
All i wanted is someplace that i can feel it is home..
It is also a feeling that I've gain when I'm with her...
and only her can give me that feeling...
Just that i cant create more pressure for her.. so better keep this down and low..
I wont voice up...
My poker face is still on when its needed so no worries..

Seems like she's facing her own growing stage from teen to adult...
I face it b4 so all i can say is i know its hard but go for it and you'll make it ya?
Support will always be given... and thanks for replying my msg "and ignored some" its ok
i know you've been busy I'll sms u seldom k?
Or maybe you've fallen for another guy i don't know...
Anyway All the best for what you're up to ya?

I'd better bring out my "Sei Chang" attitude d...
Its not her fault nor her responsible to share or feel what i am facing now..
I cant bring her down too..
Its my feelings not hers...
Its the love that i had for her.. not the love she had for me..
All of this is my problem its time to be strong to face it all by my self again..

But then just now 5pm when i reach home...
I felt like i want to collapse..
Really did happen again selective "black out" mode...
I think this issue(the issue in my work part) have been causing me too much pain
I'd better solve it as soon as possible if not it will affect me...
And the most feared part is that my emotion will just affect her...
Which is something that i wouldn't want it to happen in the future...
Well Cheer up everyone... including me...
I CAN DO IT... SO CAN YOU(referring to the girl I'd fell for)...

Cant stop doing this and kept on felt sorry because scared that it might disturb her too much...
Still thinking of her so much...up until now...

-Man Zai-

† I just dont want to interfere anymore †

2009-10-15T01:05:00.003+08:00

Its time to stop this relationship,
Time to hypnotize myself..
We are just friends...
Very close friends like she said..
I'd really like to continue but...
i scare she cant handle it...

Lets pause here...
See how it goes in the future...
Since there are so many choice for her now i cant be that selfish...
I wanted to be but... its just not fair for her..
Let her decide...

If in the future she still want to continue it with me then...
Lets create this as a password for us...

"I Love You"

Tell me from the bottom of your heart when u want it k?
I'll hide mine away deep deep inside my heart...
Wait you owh...

But then maximum i guess will wait you for 5 more months bah...

If its a no continue then i'll just give up...
I've stand up for this relationship and its not hard at all..
I felt joy, blisfulness, relax and laughter all the time...
Thanks for those sweet memories...
I'll keep those now...
continue to hold them back until u speak up the secret password...
Promise will be kept... even if the relationship have been (de-ranked) hehe
Cheers for you Jes...

-Man Zai-

† A Lesson learned †

2009-10-14T15:59:00.004+08:00

Well finally i found out that why she's so stressed now days...
Not only because of me disturbing her by sms-ing her..
Mr S also.. and i guess there are more...
Now its better to sms her lesser, disturb her lesser because i know..
That Mr S wont stop sms-ing her one...
She's stress enough just to reply his msg.. so..
let me reduce on disturbing her bah...
Maybe one day 1 msg in morning 1 phone call at night should do...
unless she sms's me i'll 100% reply her...

Bie arh... I know u want to keep promises..
But sometimes i will let you to do so coz it'll determine weather if u will kept promises that u made or not in the future...
This is the 1st promise u gave me and u would want to kept it...
Really appreciate it owh bie... thanks...
Thank god for giving me such a great lover who'd sacrifice so much for me...
Please protect her from any harm nor danger while i'm not around with her..
I know that she's troubled enough so better let her deal it alone...
If i'm there to disturb her, it will only create more pressure on her...

Jes arh... Jia you owh u can do it de... hehe
Next WED only meet owh... jia you ya?
I'll be right next to you when u needed me the most...
Just let me know when u really wanted a person there for you... i'll be there..

Well then just assumtion, i dint know why she left her blogger account sign in... izzit she just simply forgot to sign out? or she want to show me something?
Well i just log out for her without any second though thou... and the song... i hope she did mean something behind...
Bogoshipda...
The meaning is thinking of you...
Well bie i also am thinking of you all the time...
Worried weather what were u busying?
Are you taking good care of your health?
and some more but... i know
i know that if i'd keep on nagging u u'll get fed up of it..
Maybe will cause you to hate me or neglect me...
All i can say is i love you bie..
I Believe that you can make it...
I will just be at one small corner which u wont notice to support you all the time..

Frankly speaking i was so damned happy when u said u want to come by my place to teach me..
Morning i went out caught in the rain awhile after purchasing those eggs and some vegie...
Then, my mom phone in when i reach home said she bought lunch..=.=
I was like... aihz nvm about that
Then when she teaches, her look have been carved in my heart...
so pretty when she was smiling at me ..
My heart just melted with just that smile.. hehe

Well all i have to do now is to support her quitely...
Behind the bars where she cant see me...
Well then, lets get back to my routine then...
she wont read this ady i guess its not in her hot news...

Jesyca, my love,
Jia you owh,
I know u can do it de,
Need help i think u know who to find d bah...
And i hope the person u find is me owh...

PS: Never felt that you are disturbing me any time, anywhere, any place, because you never will k? Jia you owh!!

†Man Zai†

My mind was currupted until now...

2009-10-07T16:26:00.002+08:00

Well i just came back to my own sense...
Jes u made me learn how to perfectly make myself feel better no matter what happen...
I've just mastered the most hardest part of my Emotion part thanks to you owh..

In my heart at 1st i was complicated by my own emotion...
Actually i still can love you...
Loving you is something that i will never regret in my life...
Maybe i just am not the right person for you...
But still loving you and being the right person is 2 different thing..
I should have not mix them together...
I love you more then you can imagine...
Well for now i will continue to love you...
Care for you...
But until the day u decide on who you want...
I will be by your side training you to be stronger...
Please let me hold your arms while u slowly walk out from the tortise shell..
Allow me to show you what i am capable of as a Capricon...

I realize one thing... from this love..
A Capricorn can either be very optimistic... or the other way round...
So why don't i just push myself in optimistic...
Smiling and spreading the love that everyone suppose to get from this capricon?
Thanks Jes...
You made me realize..
Thank you... And sorry for hurting you this 2 days...
Sorry but to say that i really loved you...

I don't know in the future who you will choose but...
At least I'll give it a try...
If i failed at least i tried my best...
Thanks for everything that you've done for me...

PS: You are making me worried today.... sorry i will take a good care of my health and the med..
I already finish them yesterday.. thanks for the remind thou..
I have grab back me my own self... now its your turn Jes...
Jia you i know you can make it... push harder... i will be right next to you...
Supporting you like your dearly brother, lovely parents...
Appreciate your love as i did along the way....
Miss you so much Jes...
Love you since that day onworts..
Hope to continue our relationship in the future if you still wanted to..
But also wish the best of luck on your search for the best person you think suits you the most..

-Man Zai-

† The pain we both are facing now... †

2009-10-07T10:35:00.004+08:00

I know that the pain i am facing cant be compared to what you are facing now Jes...
Please do get on...
Today i might be in a blue feelings...
Totally lost myself yesterday..
EQ too high aint a good thing also...
Manage to smile the whole road down the meeting... Compressing the pain inside...
Nobody can saw anything wrong with me... what a success...
Its time, i've decide to change you Jes...
Its something that in the past i kept it because i loved you and i know...
If you have been changed...
Your thinking, Your want for another half will also change...
I will lose you if i do so...
Well its ok to do so i guess..
I cant be that selfish...

Well the pain that i am feeling now is like tearing my heart apart..
Then put salt in it and also some sugar...
After that pour in a pile of red ant to let them bite...
Should be how it felt for now i guess...

Even when i am not thinking about you jes.. the pain still goes... i'll get use to it soon i hope...
Well its a good thing that now u're relief from me..
In the future u will sure meet up with the one that u wanted to be with..
So before that happen i'll be next to you until you meet up with "him"
After that i'll leave.. should be what i can do now i guess..
At the mean time see how much things u can learn from me...

I know the pain you are facing now... as i am once the worm...
You still manage to fake a smile through the phone...
Hold your tears and the pain inside you...
I really want to thank you...
Please dont let the pain haunt you...
Like u said in tweeter... time heals...(i guess that works for you)
Then let time heal you ok?
Anyway add oil in everything in the future which i will never interfere anymore..

Hate assignments... lolx but got to do it... haha..
Forcing myself to not love the 1 that i love... 1st time doing so... hope can success..
Hehe add Oil Jes i know u can, just believe in urself then u'll make it...
Same goes to Joe...haha try our best let the god decide the rest then...

After those hours of thinking i stop but still i hope that you're there to hold me tight..
Just tell me everything is fine...
That will help alot... but its for me to handle everything now..
I cant still ask you to do things for me anymore..
The horoscope is too accurate i dint dare to post on anywhere i know...
Capricons.. If i were not a capricon how good can that be for us......

-Man Zai-

† I'll give it a try... †

2009-10-06T20:35:00.004+08:00

Going to start pia work stop love? well if i really do i dono how hard it will be on me..
If i really do so.. well i don't know this world will consider happy or not...
Losing another bad person(huai4 Ren2) in love section of the bible...
I think its a good thing to stop for now...

Lets try to be friends.. like u said well i am not the one u pursue for...
But now I really am confuse of weather the word ILU u really meant it or not..
Maybe at that time yes... but...

Actually i dint want to skip this so let me finish what i started...
Remember that night when u wanted to say the 3 words what did i ask you?
If you dont then just leave it... if you do the reason is that once you said it...
If u mean it... Means the love will last forever...
But then it just doesn't seems to be the right time...

well then i have to go on that appointment 9pm Coffee island...
Dint know why so moody now...
But i guess its the same feeling when my ex told me....
My eyedrops just cant flow out...
Am i sick? Last time it just flow just like that when she "Touched" my heart...
now? Complicated i dont want to think but it just keep on bothering me...

Well Jesyca...lets stick with this 1st bah..
I dono suddenly change of status want to call u what le..
Capricons"also known as popcorns"...
Hah stupid thing about him being honest.. should have kept all those secrets...
But dont true relationships have 0 secrets?
Complicated again...but he know how to solve it..
Just maybe its not a time for him to solve i guess..

Skip skip skip... how i hope i can throw away all my feelings now...
Well stop being so down man... she'll be bothered if i am so..
Ok get back myself i go set my hair now better get going i dont want to be late...

Appointment "Vikie Chong" ex colleage..
Title: Loans.... methods of gaining loans
Time: 9pm
Venue: Coffee Island

Zialat dono she will scold me or not if she finds out that i forgot to take my medi today...
Took my dinner d too late to take the med...
Silly me time to go stop thinking so much...
Try to get back to single... wont be hard i guess..
heh lets treat it as probation then..or not..
GTG chiawzz

PS: The guy who is still in Love with her have decided one thing that he will do for her...
Nothing can change his mind now... He knows that if he do so...
The changes might hurt him but it will help her in the future...
Thats the only thing is left to repair all the damage which have been created by him...

-Man Zai-

† Paralyzed today..luckly still can manage to sms †

2009-10-05T13:55:00.005+08:00

Early in the morning went to fetch my friend Kui Fen(secondary friend)
Woke up at 6.40 then went fetch her throw her at the bus stop
Then i straight went back sleep...
Hehe sorry ya? bie if my msg this morning did disturbed u le... miss u owh..

Hope bie today is doing well and gotten better from last night's incident...

Bie dont worry ya? its nothing much just something new for you to experience owh last night..
Well my body got worsen after lifting up the cupboard from outside my house to my room..
Now i am paralyzed lying down on my bed barely move...
Hope she's enjoying her time with her classmates at the afternoon maybe watching movie or shopping at a mall...

But then if not hopefully she's now working hard for her B law...
How i hope she's now next to me putting some oil on my back for me...
Dam it hurts even when i turn a little bit the pain comes..
The whole back from my chest(front) to my back and the waist there...
The leg also so bad keep on ache like aihz i dono how to describe ady...
the pain i cant describe... its paralyzing me now...

I dint told her hope she's not angry owh...
Coz i know bie u are busy today... and i didn't want bie to worry owh...
Jia you owh bie... dont worry about me hopefully after today my body will be back in shape..
Enjoy on what you are doing and jia you on what you need to put effort for ya?
Back to bed... its quite pain while i was sitting straight typing this blog...wow..
I still manage to made it hehe... Thank God...

PS: for ah bie should be saying Thanks Buddha right? hehe

-Man Zai-

† A love which comes at the wrong timing †

2009-09-30T10:32:00.003+08:00

Well why don't we set the timing right?
I know there are 200k minimum of another half / soulmates which will suit both of us...
I know that you are just one of the 200k... as i am your one of the 200k...
and perhaps we might meet our another one of the 200k in the future...

But Jesyca arh... i hope you'd know...
You will be the 1 who will be my wife and the rest would end up as friends...
I hope you got the same feelings and you can really like this thinking and use it on us...
The yes and no will decide everything for our future...
A Yes and No answer which i will ask and hope you'd decide on Friday...
A contract which it will all be revealed on Friday k?
Although all of this happened i hope you and me in the future still have the chance...
A chance to advance our relationship...
The feeling of love is not a mistake...
Its fated to be so...
I got to accept this fact...

Hmmm glad that now you are no longer facing any stress now...
As i thought i dint miss out any but i do add a few sources of stress that have noticed
Ever since the word yes came out...
I wanted to solve it for you that day but u said u will solve it urself... i assumed and i was right..
U cant handle it alone bie...

I know you love me... and deeply you do ...
But the time of my appearance if its few months later... it would be perfect right?
A moment where you can "guang ming zheng da" fall in love with me...
Your dilemma is sort of what i'd had before when i was with my ex... but mine was worse..
Well all i can do now is Apologies accepted and you're welcome bie...

Its time for me to change my blog link soon enough...
After Friday...
Lets wish for a happy ending at the end of the day... love ya jes
I'm going to sleep ady..
I've been working so hard compressing all the hard feelings now i'd release it here..
The whole morning my business partner is putting me in a deep shit of stress
i can manage it yet i was in a deep headache and i kept a smile on my face..
now my body i felt like so weak...
How i hope you're just next to me holding me tight and say i love you...
lolx thats inside my dream i hope..
i'd go and take a rest 1st then chiawzz yall!!

Later at 1 plus going to coll awhile...

-Man Zai-

A wierd dream in deed...

2009-09-28T08:44:00.002+08:00

Well i slept around 2 something after shedding some tears last night....
Then after i've decided to let ah bie work on herself without *annoying her* (but will reply every single msg that she will give me) all of the sudden...
I drop into a dream..
Inside the dream ofcourse ah bie was there...
Well we were just at my house and quite a lovely scene...
After a moment she said"my daddy want me to join him to take breakfast"
Then i said "I want to meet your papa"
She replied "Want ma come lo...* " something similar to that..
Then i quickly rush to go out holding her hand when she said outside my house..
Bie said "I dont know which route to go... left of right arh?"
I just reply "okok i know where dont worry ya?"

Then all of the sudden, the both of us just went to another place which i am not familiar with..
At there appeared 2 person... i think its either a male and a female... the guy told me..
"Don't let go now... continue to love her and she needs you beside her..."
*Somesort of like bie's daddy was talking to me but he looks kinda young so i doubt that its her papa owh*
Well its either an angel who come by to leave me a note...
or something is telling me that my decision is wrong for last night..

Well i will continue love her without any doubt now..(although last night did thought of stop sms-ing her let her be alone) i guess i was wrong...
Thats why i sent her a good morning wishes today bah...
Ah bie.. now i realize that the love i had for you...
I cant neglect it anymore...
I will control myself without letting you to have another headache *fan2 nao3* like u are in now..
decision will always be in your hands weather to hurt me or not to..
No matter what you will do ah bie... all i want to say is that I Love You, and You Love Me too...
So Jia you owh ah bie.. you can do it... must have the spirit to continue on what you are doing...
Stepping forward is something very hard because you are trying to change yourself..
When beggining of changing you din't get the chance to know what will happen next..
Thats also one of the reason people's did not like changes..
Because all of those uncertain things and unpredicted stuffs is what that scares people the most..
But bie... dont worry about all the changes that you are going to meet ya?
Coz.. i will be there... i know you wont accept any help from me but...
Please do accept them coz you are afraid when things starts to change ok?
I want to be there with you when you are facing some changes..
Lets change together ok ma? Jia you owh bie... Miss you alot...
(really miss until i can dream about u d...)

I'd better get going now 10.am Sharp reach McD. if not raymond will ki xiao again..
Bie Jia you bah i wont disturb u much owh... but will drop by several msg in noon evening and night k?
Jia you... and 1 more thing bie arh hope u'd know
Loving you is something that i will never regret even if it will take my life away..
Caring for you is something that now it have been a must for me...
Helping you is one thing that i wanted to do just waiting you to accept...
hehe jia you ...you can do it...

-Man Zai-

A situation which I am lost...

2009-09-28T01:07:00.004+08:00

Well today i can say i am very lucky to have you bie..
I know your love which have already poured at my heart filling it to its maximum...
It have already overflowed.. thanks ya?
Those feelings that you'd talked about just now..
I do face that b4..
I know its kinda hard to face but that time i did manage to face it alone...
I want to help you but i also want you to try and face it 1st... when you are at your
most helped needed i will appear k? love ya.

Starting from 26 September 2009 1.41am Joe The Wormy officially announce
Dear Jes Jes, Ah Bie as his lawfully girlfriend.

So starting from that day onwards.
Joe the wormy must be prepared on 24 hour basis...
Anytime help needed will directly be provided no matter what scenario he is in.
His control of his emotion have improved...
He can smile when he's in pain(well soon he will go for a checkup with some doctors*maybe this coming wednesday but perhaphs sooner next week bah*) coz
He din't want his beloved Bie get worried too much
Now then This following week will have to start on Day 1(miss her alot scenario) again starting from tomorrow..
Thanks to Bie now i got a new plan on my project...
Its time to change...(Major 1 i guess)
Step into a field where(i've stopped joining for afew years)
Venture into life where i've been before but left afew years ago..
Its start of something new...

Bie Jia you... You can do it de...
The shoulder which is specially made for you always be there for you ya? hehe
Dont worry too much, just go for it... support will be given by dear all the time...
Just 1 phone call even if i'm at Johore i will fly back within 6 hours time just to be by your side k?
Loving you will soon or have already been a "Xi Guan" ady... slowly... gently... softly... and also
Deeply.. hehe

Now Day 1..actually today loe...
10a.m McD Greenlane meeting + decision making + action taking..Ending should be at 12am tomorrow i guess..
Life act for my future career starting point..dangzz its hard but good enough i can manage it well
Bie arh please forgive me if i did not took good care for my health this week ya? just for this week
Coz i want to go fullforce on my work owh..

I hope this can bring me some new hope where i can continue to bring future inside my life..
Bie u add oil on fighting againts your feelings ya? i will add oil on my work.. u also jia you on ur studies owh...*where i will prepare some also on ur studies hope can help you bie*

Lets fight together bah bie... Jia you Jia you Jia you... I love you...hehe

-Man Zai-

A day which i will never forget...

2009-09-24T01:16:00.000+08:00

Finally i got a gf for 1 day...
Well the girl is the one that i've fell for ...
Although it did not end up the way i expected but still... luckly
The plan still goes as it have been planned..
Glad that she'd loved it... hehe
Well after today i must know that she's not my gf...until one day which i hope it really does happened

Back to Wormy stage... better go get more rest now so tired and the gastric keep on playing a fool with me now..
nvm i can handle it... its my stomach i will control it with my own will..
K then nitezz all and also
sweet dreams ya jes jes... nitezz

-Man Zai-

Day 4

2009-09-23T00:09:00.003+08:00

Its been day 4...
Although its the 4th day....
Missed her like tons... hehe...
Well for today maybe we did contact in the morning... but then
The feeling of missing her is like taking away a whole piece of flesh away from me...
LOL...

I should know 1 thing and always kept it in my mind...
In the past this thing made me scare of walking into love...
But now i know i love her so much.. I dint want to stop loving her..
Until one day maybe she'd fall for another guy..
Till then i will just fulfill her wish and just give up..
Because i really loved her like she did to me for now(i do hope it can last until forever)...

I know why you are scared to start because you scared of hurting me...
But jes jes i hope you'd know 1 thing which i've been telling you all the while owh..
I dont mind letting u hurt..

Its not your fault that you'd hurt someone you love...(sometimes)
But then i'll make the sometimes to all the time if you want...

maybe somebody will think that i'm a dumb dumb to make such a decision..
But i know her more and more day by day...
She's actually not *hua xin* just she's playful
everytime wants to try new things... including new feelings i guess..
She's not promiscuous but just she's unsure of what she wants...
She's not a bad girl just that she did not aware of things around her...
She's one that i would love?omg i keep on write lok ki like writing a love letter aneh...
Better stop here..

Well today i did think alot about her...but then i failed to woke up to phone her this early morning..
So lausy eh me...but luckly i manage to msg-ed her...sorry ya?
Well today whole day dint know why got abit happy that she's coming back d...

Afternoon after lunch with my family i kept on thinking of her... but then
suddenly i felt like i've been annoying her when she's busy all the time so i stopped sms-ing her..
Until she starts to get on to the car...
A car which is full of guyz...
but then i cant do much also...
Since she'd told me that she wanted to play...
I wanted to fulfil her wish but frankly to tell
I can't fulfill it for her...because in the end it will just be hurting her...
Although in the process the hurt created for me i can handle but...
The end of the day hurting her is something which i wont forgive myself if i did...
Well then lets skip all these drama's which is playing inside my mind

Jes Jes... Jia you owh... on your up coming events and alot of challanges...
Which all these challenges wormy know that jes jes wanted to face them by yourself...
But once again... Wormy hope u'd know that he'll be there all the time..
Dont wait until you're collapsing then only u come and find worm worm k?
When you are stuck... help will be presented to you..
When you are in trouble... saviour will be there*Wormy*
When you are in a trauma... Wormy will help to ease your pain..
Well last and most least... i'm still in Penang... So just use my help ya?...
hehe

Jia you owh jes jes... add oil ya? hehe
Gam Ba Teh~~

-Man Zai-

Day 3 here it goes..

2009-09-22T00:44:00.002+08:00

3 days have passed.
Miss her if can be calculated... The amount really increases tremendously..
Well i stiff myself whole day at home... besides going out for breakfast lunch and dinner
Rest of my time i went to become a pig..

Having 2 hour plus slept at home and watching series..
Tomorrow is the day to really focus more on the slides...
Today just open awhile then the mood just went away so i stopped.

Well then Jes Jes at Tg Malim so nice... should be having alot of fun there..
And experiences hehe
Well miss her is one thing that i cant help to stop now...
Plans i haven make but tomorrow i better get my hair cut.
The bunch of grass is really gross and my hair now does not suit for business occasion..
Well then still waiting to wish her sweet dreams through phone thou...
hehe

For now i will love her without any fear ady...
Although maybe i'd already know some of the future but its unpredictable right?
(i mean the future)
So i will just proceed if she wants then lets see how bah..
Since both of us loved each other ady why not just give it a try?

Although i am not fooling around and i tend to get serious in relationship but...
Since its giving her so much pressure... i'll just be serious but control it and try to...
Make it to see not so serious bah...
Coz i dont want to create more pressure for her... maybe thats love?

My buzz partna exidentally viewed my msg with jes le...gai
i really dint know how to explain...
Told them we haven start they dont believe pula=.=
Well aihz sometimes i also dont know how to solve this kind of problem but..
Problem is created for humans to solve and gain experience in it right?

I'll still pray for the best, hope to get it and prepare for the worst i guess....
Heart broken is nothing compare to regretting when u found out that the love you let go is so important...
Alright then i'll proceed with the waiting session now...
Nitezz all

-Man Zai-

Well day 2... its more suffering then i'd thought it will

2009-09-20T23:36:00.002+08:00

Well today is day 2... missed her so much...
Dear Jes Jes, sorry ya? unable to give u the morning call i said i will give le...
Well i'd tried my best not to miss u d...but it seems like ...i cant control anymore...
Hmmm not bad since i am not afraid of getting hurt..
I think its because of love bah...
Well then lets hope for the best and prepare for the worst...

Time flies... time to get going and change my life starting from now on...
Let money fly to me at the same time love also come ya...

Well then this day 2 really made me sneeze alot also made me miss her so much...
I will provide Morning call as i wanted now i better go and get to bed 1st...kinda late d..

And i dono miss or mister who's viewing on behalf of Jes Jes please dont simply read and tell ya?
Thanks...

Well then i wont worship jes jes... just love her that will do..
So then besides that closed 2 case... now got 4 more to go
Then got to start with new ones...

Business Oriented students who wanted to know how to get thier 1st 10k?
Phone me (not anytime..pls i also need sleep) my contact number 016-441 5443
Please contact me between 8 in the morning till 12 at night...
So sweet dreams ya jes jes... miss u sia but what to do u at so far away... hehe
But then jes jes... Add oil owh... Jia You on being independent... hehe love u owh...

Now now better dont hope too much coz Wormy u should know 1 thing...
All of this might only be a sweet dreams for a few months.. or it might be a forever 1...
Better be prepared to get hurt...(defend just take it off la)
Backup plan's must be made and not be told...
Times up nightzz all..

-Man Zai-

If i'd just realize...

2009-09-19T23:57:00.003+08:00

If i'd just realise How much i missed her...
She went to camp starting from today...
I hope we'd be in a relationship now but i dont want to give her the pressure...
Loving her is something i cant replace by work nor anything now...=.= wat la me..
So stupid go promise her buat pa... regret d lo..
Somemore want to let her go play for 4 Years..
Walao... wats wrong with me la adui...
But then its just my feelings i can ignore...
i am proud of my emotion control...
heh..atleast thats something i can use on...

Today is just day 1...
Miss you nia jes jes...
Although i know it will hurt me the most in the end of the day but...
I guess there's no turning point d...
I was wrong that workaholic still works...
The medicine is no longer effective for me d...
Well its time to continue protect her... Love her...
Flirt i dont think i need it...coz its really from my heart..lolx
She scare i will fall deeper but i think she would know this will happen i guess..
Really hope to be with her...
I know i'm not the 100% of what she wanted but i hope atleast i can get more then 30 marks? hehe

Well then i can see my sickness is so deep..
I kept on thinking of her now...lolx better adjust the degree of miss d..
Must take control for the moment if not later she fan gan then i will lose her d...
Well then Jes Jes...add oil owh... Enjoy your camp ya?
hehe your phone should be in low batt d bah... nitezz la... dont want to disturb u d...sweet dreams....

-Man Zai-

Last time and now....

2009-09-19T09:31:00.003+08:00

In the past, I would always think of weather to fall in love or not...
But now I dint manage to control it but really fell for her d...
But then she wants to play 1st at the same time she dint want to hurt me?...
wow that's i don't know how to explain..

Loving her makes me want to let her go and enjoy 1st...
So now question comes....
Should I really let her go 1st? continue concentrate on my work?
Or should I continue support her... love her like i did now?
Why does love always make my life so terrible..
Although i can totally 100% control my emotion now..finally
but when i know that she's with other guyz i will also get a little heartache..
is this love?
I guess its time for me to let go 1st...
If not she'll only be my best friend that's the limit..
We wont know weather she'll be able to meet up with someone whom will be more
suitable to be her husband in the future right?

Well Thanks arh jes jes... you've let me learn several things actually...
Knowing on how much i've fell into for you but its time for me to let go..
I know its hard enough thou.. but i'll give it a try..
Maybe its still not the right moment for me to have this love + relationship with you i guess..
Everything happens for a reason... who knows?
maybe you're the 1 who'd be the most suitable wife for me in the future 4 years?

But please ya? Jes Jes next time don't simply go into (Guyz) house..
Do things think 3 times before u take action it might take u afew seconds but pls do so...
I really scare you will get hurt... But if you really do.. the wormy will always be there k?
I'll cherish this best friend(relationship) for now.. love you owh jes..
I think this will be the last time for me (non flirtingly) telling you that i love you i guess...

Now focus on my work... Let me use workaholic to ease the pain inside my heart bah...
Maybe will need afew months then workaholic will be (deleted in my charactor)...
Maybe i dint tell u coz i dont want u to think too much...
but then my K sis use to tell me... i'm the family 1st type of person...
This statement i also dont know coz i dint really go and analyze myself..
Thanks for falling in love with me and you'd told me that ya? hehe..

Alright back to track(workaholic time)

-Man Zai-

† The symbols... †

2009-09-17T17:41:00.002+08:00

Finally my boss is making fun out of me...
Well its ok i'll endure it..
Planning on who to target at and how to approach them... although still in progress but aihz sadness... so many things to do.. Better accept all sorts of challenge to be stronger in the future.
Well "she had a stomachache today" i know what to do but then still i am so worried..
Once she said that my thought came in....
Food posioning? Gastric? or even alot more....
Sometimes i really think too much huh? but worrying means what? means i care loe...adui..

OK last night i argued and thanks to this conflict i got so much relief on my work....
So guyz and gals i'll be starting to hunt all of you down 1 by 1 with several business u see?With that you'll please understand my situation and i dont want it to be this way its just a way to gain my starting point...

Tonight i am going to have a meeting up wif buzz partnazz at Gurney drive there next to a 7-11 which i dont even know where is it...
well knowing she's going to a camp soon might be able to miss her haha...
Better dont later she keep on get itchy her ears then when she come back sure scold me sia..
Also she's facing so much pressure which i hope i wont be giving her more...
i can see from her body language she's quite suffering at some point..
But at the same time she's enjoying the process..

Well back to my life after next TUESDAY i will be FREE!!!!
Free from MRET, FREE from my boss and manager although they acted differently after i argued with them..
I'd even said hi howz things? they no reply mia... both of them
my boss got la owh "zhe yang lor" in mandrin...

Alright better get some rest later got tons of things to do still...and i dint bring my lappie which is such a sadness...

-Man Zai-

Heartache huh? lolx wat la me...

2009-09-16T09:47:00.003+08:00

Although predicted that today will come...why still it hurts so much?
Nvm nvm let it be, i'll get use to it soon.
She'll soon be a person very important in the society..
What the hack am i thinking, she might even not choose me in the future..
This really is WTF what am i thinking...
Do i really love her so much d?
or mayb i know the answer...its YES

Let it be 1st...
I got so much to worry still must be STRONG JOEL CHONG WEI-WERN!!
Its time to get on with your career...
No time for you to cry dammit..
But then thought of rejecting a girl type friend's invitation to movie...
yet she accepts to watch movie wif......
Aihz whats on my brain it does not LINK at all!!!!
STUPID JOEL!!STOP thinking so much...
Lets get on with my career..FOCUS on career CAREER.....
STOP IT STUPID JOEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its making me crazy sooner...
I'd better stop stop thinking about it...

FOCUS FOCUS JOEL!!!!!!!!!!
ok later i got a meeting with my banking agent boss then got several question which i must make clear of...
After that i have to confront and adjust things with my MRET boss..
TIME TO GET GOING STUPID MORON JOEL...
not a time for you to worry so much.. Responsible also have to come 1st...
JIA YOU Ah wern... Add oil!!

-Man Zai-

What a Mess start but not bad the ending..lolx

2009-09-04T14:32:00.003+08:00

Its been awhile since i've been updating my blog.
Lately i guess i've been studying hard on how to start up a New N.G.O. (Non Government Organization)
...dam its so hard
I've work my ass of thinking on how to prepare a Perfect slide to use on my work..
I need dam a lot of network for now... i'd better stop using those vulgar words d...
Well Its nice to know that there is still a person who is such keen to learn in this world exist.

But then lately maybe i really dint realise that how much i've been stressing myself. So i'd better start to take care of my health since somebody(NAG-ed) me to take care...
Its a good advice for me also actually. Thanks I'll take up the advice..(if she reads it)

Neway will continue fight in my career when success that time will let every1 know how i did it.
But during the way down to success i will need people to support which i hope they will want to know how am i going to success.

Interested just contact me, or just simply leave a comment here i'll get through with it and maybe keep in touch with you.

Business is all inside my mind, opportunity is things that i do not want to miss...
But problems is those that allowing myself to stress myself.

My EQ consider high but still i am just another ordinary person.
In my life i've learned alot but still there are much more for me to learn.
Letting go is also a way to ..... nvm bout that but
Consiquenses is now things that will block my way..
Must think of a fact that can allow the consiquenses to become my power to influence more people in the future...
I want to thank god that i have my life still here sitting typing this msg.
Thank god give me such a nice father and mother although i wont blame my mom for not being a good mom coz not every mother is being thought or showered by mother's love.. i wont blame her coz i love her and she's my mom.
Neway i am thankful for my dad being so supportive in what i have been doing, although i did admit its my fault that my dad lost RM 13k for my lesson...
My parents should have stop me for that but nvm...
I'll be able to start my own things without letting my parents worry anymore starting from now..
I want to get all my plans work to atleast support my family.
My dad have been working like COW(for like so long since b4 i've born) still he is now working
I want him to rest relax before he reaches his age of 53 (Thats one of my target now). And my mom just i want her to stop worrying about finance in the family, it should be stressing her out like MAD lately.
I want to help my elder bro to get his NEW house asap, and i want to prepare a fund for my younger bro to get his studies after FORM 5...
Its just in a few years time but mom, please stay until i can really let you enjoy your life stop working for MINIMUM enjoy 5 to 10 years... i know ur cancer...stage please stay longer mom..

Gramps(granpa and granma) you two have been supportive enough teaching the lesson of your life to us thank you. I want everyone to enjoy what i can make out of my career(including my Pak pak(my dad's older bro) Ah Sook(my dad's younger bro) And gugu(my dad's Eldest Sis)
All of them to enjoy what i can get i will guide them with my way...

So God please bless me with the success and minor fault which will let us grow more...
Bless me with more endurance and knowledge in the road that i have choose..
Guide me when i speak, and lastly bless my whole family to gain health and wealth.

Now Lets get going (Dont stop its not a time to stop although i felt a mild Fever and mild headache but IT WONT AFFECT me) must jia you... hehe Bro's Gam ba Teh together now!!

WOrking life started since 1st of July Sales (M.R.E.T)

2009-07-11T21:39:00.003+08:00

Since start this fulltime work, never thought of girls anymore...
Dint know why dint know how but... maybe thats human being bah...
Although sometimes while working...stilll can (have illusion of my ex standing infront of me) but
Her thinking and mine are way too diff for now..
Things will not last forever, but then shall she ever thought of will a family atleast last for 50 years?
Since Meeting up with each other until married, then??
Babies born so on, until they get married...
So how long is forever?
And one more things if it wont last forever then how long is the time period?
But then not to say she's wrong, just over optimistic like i was last time...
Its glad that she was my 1st...
She let me learn and woke up from my FOREVER (imaginary) to reality
Learning that but now its time for me to move on to my work i guess..
Now i know alot of things but...how to use it?when to use it?
Doing sales i even can tell wat da person wants us to tell them...My god...
But then when i tell them i felt like(aihz since i know what u want wat for i go and try again le?)
Lately went back to RO(Just-RO)
Dint know where all my ex-guildmates went so i started alone 1st
Then slowly la...progress
This Grace Ooi...i think we both do not have any (monkey poops bah)Yuan Fen
Although sometimes will tot of her wana find her but
Dont have the guts to go...
aihz wat kind of jerk have i been lately?
Dint talk much also..
Infront of all friends now i am the most(UP MOST quite 1)
only know how to smile.
But luckly my smile is not a fake 1 anymore...
the fake 1 kinda fade away d...
Let go is also a type of way to love a person so...heh knew it earlier then that but
Now only know how to apply...
Well back to work lu~~~ so dam boring at here
but its nice meeting up with new peoples...kinda starting to like it..
All the best to every1...
I dont mind a thing Mun is doing anymore(well lucky me)
But then still hope the best for her in her life bah...
And all my friends also Make sure live a GREAT life..
(Some times did tot of why i am still here stealing other people's oxigen)
but then everything happens for a reason i guess..
Without breaking my phone...my aunt wont be my 1st customer d...
Without working here i wont meet up wif so many new people..
Well hope to know whats new....wats next(keep my life going bah) hehe
SY arh...u arh i sometimes dono how to comfort u...as a friend...when let go(xiao sa abit)
When got that time (appreciate everysingle juice from it)
When dont have time just let it be la...aiyoo
Dai dai how are you owh? i so dam long dint update my Blog d...
Sommore lately dint even sms u...
Dono how are u doing in Subang also.. kinda miss u thou hehe
Kenny...Jia you on ur work bah..u can do it...Regina gam ba teh on ur DEGREE
James All the best on ur exam which is coming up soon..
And tate ko later i will phone or text u...
Wendy i dono how are u d but on the july 24 i will go cari u(hope u in office la)
Well wat else?? HC arh hc how are u d? my RM4??
Rayz ur server if need help let me know la...
Anyway M.R.E.T is a good technology to know of...
i realise this technology will improve people's health
If possible i hope every single family have one...
But then if wana know more about the product
(Come and FIND ME IN QUEENSBAY MALL PENANG)
And tian, okok i forgot d...
Anyway jia you on your work ya tian... lolx
now who ealse i left behind??

Camp pictures pictures...

2009-06-18T01:11:00.004+08:00

The most memoriable moments for me in da Camp...swt

(i also dono why this can happen)

Drama...drama....

Morning exercise that i PONTENG(wakaka)

After the game..thats what it looks like

Should be the last game that we are playing d...

Kesian me la...aiyoo kena hold him up...zzz

This is the 3rd or 4th game we played i soo not so clear about it d...

This is before we play...starting that time...lolx

Abit blur but this is the 1st station outside the room...lolx

Well actually got tons more..abit lazy to post d...

when too free that time will come and post la..lolx

Hmm think back alittle bit miss the camp but...ok la

Atleast ada untung sikit..lolx

Nice camp..Nice expereince.. and also a unforgettable one..

2009-06-09T01:19:00.006+08:00

OMG my head why senget one?!!! lolx

This is the Green Team Guyz!! Check it out!!

From behind is Me(left) and Daniel(right)our team leader
Front is Hui Yin( 1st Left) Jen (2nd Left)
Grace(Middle) Oliver boy(2nd from right) Jian Er(1st from Right)

Was not there so i dint know what you guyz were up to..

But sorry hope you all will forgive me for leaving early..

Well...hmmm WHy did i gone to this camp anyway?

At 1st frankly from the bottom of my heart...i was only thinking about my business STG....

Then...When i reach i was FREAKED OUT wif the Dance..truely from my heart i did disliked it...

But then... still dispite disliking the dance....(but enjoyed alot about the whole program)

Well saperated after reach there(we 4 Hyper seniors) Me, Jerome, Joshua and.. the person who INVITED us... MICHELLe!!!(no la actually is Michael) we called him Michelle

Dont wan blame u d..

since i also get some (Unexpected experience) on the last performance when sing that timE...

walao was shocked haha... also stunning...

Well Inside the team actually got 7 of us.

Our Leader(form 1 Daniel)

Members are...(Hui Yin, Jen Hui Wen, Grace Hui Wen, Jian Er, Oliver Teoh and ME)

Well i was not the leader but...=.= dono how to say

Was the Eldest one...

Lead abit on the Station game but(kinda over my limited)

Sicked for 2 days hope tomorrow will be fine...

Hmmm back to the day one...Friday...

when reach that time i tried to joked but...

Ben(that guy) was not such a person to deal with jokes

Too boring ady him haha...

But nvm well that Miss Beh...(made my cousin Jerome dislike her) dono why..haha

Then that was day one...

Well not what we expected but still its somEthing that was outside our estimation.

Michelle got a wife from the camp...and alot of fans...

Joshua also quite famous but ok la...i not sure about him..

Jerome as usual the cool and unspeaking person..

but he's a very nice person and cute 1 if u try to chat wif him

Well all of these below will be just advises and also something i wana say to you guyz

(The Green Team)..

Jian er, you are soo active..lolx nice to have you there in the team and i wont forget WE ARE THE GREEN TEAM...

Jen Hui Wen, hope i dint spell wrong, You are doing fine..

Just alot of things for you to learn still must keep it up... Dont feel shy

Try ur best...things will end up the way it should be..

Daniel my leader kid..

You did well on trying to lead as a leader..

But then u need more courage and confidence to lead...You did great...

Hui Yin right? lolx You arh...You are a great speaker...

But try ur best on controling your panic level.. lolx once you've panic
Your mind is still on but... u might forgot what u nid to speak on...

Oliver my boy...LOL you need to learn your patience...

Maybe you've learn how to do some but you need to learn how to emphatise other people dude..

Grace Ooi, Now now..hmmm well all i can say is... nonid so serious in doing things ...

But then its kinda your nature so i dono what to say about it..

And your performance was GREAT... so its not needed for you to say sorry k? lolx...

You did fine la...but when you serious that timE very fierce neh...hehe

As for me.. I hope Green Team can evaluate me ...but then thanks for all the notes you've left for me in my envolope...

Any comments on me just let me know...hope to know more about how people look on myself...hehe

Hmm Some memories that i will cherish...

And about me? i've got something that i can cherish the most bah... LOL*actually got it on the last second performance...

When singing....(lip sing actually)

Hmm what a waste forgot to get the contact from my partner...

All i can say is that both of us was so...into it

Maybe too serius on the performance d...

I dono how she felt la but... I was really stunned by her ...

LOL..Miss Grace u zialat lor... like that (use ur electricity eyes shock me)

It was so stunning that..i totally was amused by you le...lolx

Grace Ooi right? hehe hope to know u more thou...

Nvm...cant even get to know more about you also..hope to have the chance..

Hope to meet u soon...hehe

Hmm actually...

i wana sing the song with you while we are still at the camp (the 1 that u want to sing)...

Wang Lee Hom - Ni Shi Wo Xin Nei De Yi Shou Ge

But there was no chance for us to sing hehe

I also dono weather you want to sing with me or not also..

Just hope that we had the chance to do so...lolx

Hmmm its an unexpected experience that i will Remember forever bah...

Time to stop and put somE picts in..

I want to put some the Video of our performance(expecially the song part) but then..

I still haven get the video... will be able to post two pictures only...haha

Will post the video once i get it...

What a day today was...

2009-04-02T00:04:00.002+08:00

Early morning Woke myself up on 7.30...end up waking up at 7.45..
Then..what happen i went to coll..
End up parked at a damn far place..
After parked my beautiful car... Went to search for syiling..
kena boom lor...
Dont have!!
So i plan to go class 1st then ltr break time go put in money...
then reach class Bernard was so cute he was trying to...
April Full all of us..
I knew it after he mentioned that he got meeting but keep on adjurn the meeting time..lolx
hmmm well we play a prank on him back in the end so ..consider a tie..

In the end before break time and before the prank,
i changed some syling with classmate then rush back...
Luckly the bloody MPPP person still writing the car before mine,
around 300 meter far away...
I saw and i RAN like a mad cow...
Before i reach my car...
that fella ady rode his BIKE and was going to start writing on my car..
Phew luck came to me...
He dint write yet and i manage to PERSUADE him not to write..
End up go back to class that timE hyper exhousted....

Yet still class ended early so i went to Sungai Petani..
Today to handle all the Registration of my SPM resit..
Wow cost me more then RM 50 to settle everything..
Now i am worried...
WOrried about my money...
Where am i going to get more money to help my family now..
I ady so dry...
My father oso headache d..
I am trying to help thats all...

Well time flys... i beta get working on the conclusion...if not
Regina sure kill me sia..
Beta get going tata record later then...so exhousting
After reaching back at Penang straight go work.. aihz... tired...=.=

† Man Zai †

A months or so?

2009-03-24T12:07:00.005+08:00

Well comming back to write gave me back all the memories of doing diary..
But then its been a months since I've been blogging...
Lately just busying with all the workloads and just got a news yesterday..
Sze Yee: "Due Date for Term Three is NEXT MONTH har"
Joel: " Orh...."
omg so fast...lolx April got to finish it up??
haha okok will try my best...keep on going right?
Thats my slogan for the past years

Lately was enjoying life actually..

Went working + study is stressful but...

Go hang out till early morning then only go home..

wow the feeling was like so nice,

and its been awhile since i've been doing that

Last night only went for gaming at Strike II

well end up leaving there at 3am..

lolx reach home around 3.30 slept at 5..

Today woke up at 11am..

Later 3pm going to swimming...

Well maybe day timE too stress d..

Kept on working study assignments..

So at the night go destress awhile...

Yesterday kena perli again lor...

Manatao i die nobody help me all run away za diok...

Left4dead la...aihz...

But then lately i seems to forget somthing

maybe i dint have much time for it...

totally dint have the time to spend on sms..

I better keep in touch wif all my friends back if not later..

Cham lor..

Dai dai sorry ya? i dint even post my blog..

Will sms u more k? hehe

Then hmm walao a shocking news...(to my friends actually)

Carmen got Married..wif 6..eh wait 5 arh? forgot liao lolx

She now married to so many husbands

(I dint mention it clearly coz I was lazy to tell also)

(Actually the husbands are Thick books where she spends all her time with)

I perli her use eh "Husbands"

haha

Shes just hardworking girl who kept herself in the room all the time bah..

So many people misunderstand but nvmla...lolx

Carmen, actually hor...i really scare when u come back u become a saint...

Not to say what la but the way u see things totally change jor lor...

hehe no comments on dat coz its not a bad thing thou...

But try not to keep the answer"Because this is India" in ur mind to much k?

Because its freaking me out lately..(abit maybe not use to it) lolx

hmmm wow actually think back damn alot of things happen ler...

Things that made me learn more..

(Boss Scolding me like mad or the past few days)

Boss sorry if i made any mistakes but thank you for giving me chances

Chances to correct those mistake and learn from it..

Then although the pressure he gave me was much more then i expected

still i learn how to face wif those pressure already.

I dont wana write too long,

But then there is this annoying girl(somtimes la) not all the time

She's like so i dono what da hack she's thinking eh girl gua

Thats why she make me felt annoyed..

But then this girl yesterday suddenly Cubit me..

say TRY ..zzz

Za diok dono what happened to her

nvm la luckly she dint twist...if she twist i dono how liao

Coz i did "challenge her go fight" but

I never fight wif a girl before..

And i dont wana do that..lolx

so even if we fight i sure lose mia...haha

Beta dont find an argue wif her beta lolx

Things changes...My mindset changes...

Even my concept all change ady..

But one thing that i really am afraid of is that..

i will forget how it felt when i fell in love...

Its been awhile that i dint even know how was it to feel

To feel the feeling of love...lolx

I still want to have da feeling but hope it comes?

I wont hope for a third chance in love life..

My second chance was rejected by Mandy..

So to her i really no feel jor...lolx

And I really hope i wont forget the feeling of Love

I want to remember it for life..

Sweet, sour, bitter,and alittle bit of spicy...

I do still remember now hope it can last forever then..

K i got to fetch my younger bro to his school d...

Later tonight Confession must be made at church..

Twice a year...

5 min once..

3 mins of telling all my sins that i have commited..

But the past half year seems like dint do much thing wrong besides...

Chiawzz if i dont stop here

I dono when my brain i going to stop

...

Will continue when I am alittle bit free and suddenly tot of nothing to do...

† Man Zai †

Purposely or not purposely?

2009-02-22T15:37:00.004+08:00

Its been awhile since i've been blogging,
Lately was too busy and...
Stressin myself, my body and my mind up..
Slept 2~4 hours per day for the past few weeks..
Busy for exams, studies, relationships, and...
Family matters...

Now exam has passed, assignment still keep on comming,

Relationships got beta (between friends) and

Family matters seems to be better then before..

Actually i got so much things to tell to mun,

Alot of things to ask her...

Alot of things i want to share with her in the past few weeks,

but lately we barely talk....

that seems like ...

there is a huge wall between us already..

Misunderstandings and all those unidentified problems issues,

I dont know how...really dont know...

A friend have just passed away again,

She's not the 1st friend of mine who passed away so i dint felt so hard to get use to it..

I think its hard i can say for those who is their 1st friend...

Hard to accept the fact that she did pass away just like that...

We humans appreciate friends, atleast i did..

And mun i ask da question because i want all those who is very down or depress,

To accept the fact that people do die,

Death is not sumthing to be sad to,

Actually death teach us and let us grow more....

But then coz of death we lose all friends, a lot of memories..

And also we will be creating alot of pain and problems for the people who is surrounding us..

But then if we do accept the fact that death is somthing that we are going to see in the future,

We should appreciate all the presents that the GOD have gave to us..

Everything we have now..

Anyway From the past i hoped that Mun can be the closest friend i can have..

Now she's sort of became the worst friend i can have..

I dont know why...

But its a fact now...

Meet a new girl,

she's going to Study outside of Penang soon,

hope to know her more..

She had a smile which gave me the 2nd time of .....

But maybe we just dont have the fate to meet up,

if we do i hope to know her more..

Did i purposely or not purposely dislike Mun?

I dint dislike her, but the way she speaks to me...

Its like she dint even want to talk to me...

Maybe that time starts

the heart of caring for her faded away....

Now All i care is to my friends and family and i hope i can meet up wif Da right girl..

Regina pull a prank on me at Val's day...

Made me look like a dumb ass infront of her and that little sky..

but then its quite nice to get prank once in awhile..

But then lolx my BRO also dint tell me ..*(i am talking about you JAMES)* lolx

Dont mind la i dint mind also haha

Anyway why i trust Regina so much...lolx

coz i cherish the bond that we have??

Haha or i purposely believe in her coz she's a friend to me?

lolx anyhow anything will happen in the future but

the friendship we had will last forever..

Friday night (7pm)...

when i reach home...

collapes like a dead person..

But at 10pm plus Tate ajak me out

we go play game till 4am..

haha... so nice then 7am at saturday go do exercise Jogging at Air Itam Dam,

So damn nice...lolx

afta that?? what did i do ?? reach home nia fall apart

(coz of the tiredness...slept for nearly 20 hour continuesly)

then skip working and

dint make it for my mom's event sorry ma....

Finally its sunday went to church and now stuck at home doing notes

Still abit tired but cant keep on sleeping right?

Still need to find a boost for my life..

But where to find?

Find KM?? lolx wont gua i dint know much about her also

Although she's the som1 I met(from da above statement)

But her smile will last forever in my mind bah..

Nice person but dint even said hi to her..

LOL that day i was too tired when I 1st met her

But anyway heard that she's going to study at dono where d

Perak or Kedah forgot d...

But KM(if u read this) Gam Ba Teh on ur studies..

Hehe

Lolx...

if I really got The chance

really wana go hang out wif her..

But then maybe there is no chance ad gua

Heard shes going on March..whcih is 1 week from now...lolx

Ok lets stop here continue next time when I have da mood to write...

† Man Zai †

February 14...

2009-02-14T21:00:00.003+08:00

FInally its today...
well dint know why after havin a relationship i wish today ...
i wish today got people can accompany me...lolx
but then its just another ordinary day right?
but then the lonelyness why come 1? I just dont want to feel it again...
I got to admit...its good to be in a relationship but...
Its hard to mantain it...
I will do my best if i were to be in another relationship in the future...
But then all is just talking...Lazy to go ady la...

Last night i was at Tate's place studying(actually dint study much also)

Then saw the video last time 2~3 years ago..

One of my friend show me when i failed in chasin a girl..

That Motivation talker gave me the urge to move forward..

Get going in my life...continue finding...

I suddenly have the feeling of wana go find another one...

All of the urge is back but..

This time i really am scared...

Scared of losing another person again...

I am not scared of getting hurt...

But scared that will lose a person after i put hyper alot of efforts on her...

All i want is not a normal person's love life..

I want it to be a perfect 1...

Slowly la... I know i need time..

Maybe its not now?

Maybe it is? who knows...

I am no God..

But a passanger that god sent to earth..

How i hope i can have a date on Feb 14...haha

But then have date also must think we (guyz) have to pay ler...lolx

hahahaha...

What a thing...

human keep on complain...

why cant i just stop complaining...

Single life is nice but lonely....

Life in a relationship its not lonely but...

Its issues, if no issues then good la...but i dono..

I want but somehow at somepoint i dont want...lolx

what was i thinking so zialat..

Maybe today i want it but tomorrow dont want it...

But i can say is that if i have it i will appreciate it...

Happy Valentines day to everyone..

Mun...happy vals day ...

Happy Valentines to all my friends and family...

Dai Dai Happy Valentines ...

Howz ur day? got new boy boy?hehe...

† Man Zai †

Past few days of rejections...made me decide ady

2009-02-07T09:38:00.003+08:00

These few days.. after a stupid action i made..lolx
I really go and tell her i still love her..haha
she should be hating me more now...
but then i think should be ok la...
Everything is fine now...just i think she dint even want to meet me anymore..
Well i am fine with that..
Wish her can be with her current crush forever then..(i cant do much d)
Tired of fallin in love...
Tired of everything...
After several night of cant sleep now i realise..

I am to late..haha

Remembered that time when she wants to get close to me?

Why i so stupid go luan luan think at that period...

Hahahaha

But then shes right also la...not wrong pun..

just my act makes our relationship say bye bye..

Ok lets get on with my life bah..

Finding ways to know more girls..

hehehe

Later hope i can fall in love again..

(try to go meet up with a girl) but then aihz...

i also dono la..

All i hope now is that

Someone who can suddenly want to spend the rest of her life with me...

(make sure its my cup of tea 1st lor) lolx

Tired of finding but if i dont find where can get...lolx

Life's really short..well going to my friends house soon then go hunt for chicks...lolx...

Chiawzzz(hope really can la)

Well at here i wish all my friends and my Ex(Happy Valentines Day)

Wish you all can be with da person you really love...

make sure u all stick together long long arh

must trust each other and..care for them

always think what they feel if u do something, not what we feel when we do it.

(this is what i dint make it gua) Hehehe...

Kz wish me some luck also...thanks..zz

† Man Zai †

Fever never gone down...

2009-02-03T12:42:00.004+08:00

Lolx..
So stupid can think that my ex can really come..
I know today i will be having whole day home until night time go work..
Pass things for my boss then continue rest liao lor..
Beta stay alone also...
If not later the fever spread i more xiao ki...lolx
Hmmm after telling out how i felt really made me feel better...
but only abit..
I know why mun dint want to answer..
Because shes scared that she will be da person who say Break up again...
She always scare that she got hurt or the other half got hurt..
Actually mun arh...
why care so much?
The most important thing is ...
we really loved each other ..
If we did somthing wrong..
We always know that other half will forgive..
Because when once person loves another...
for sure they will forgive them nomatter what..
I can understand now how much it hurt when i said those words to you...
Sorry ya mun...really sorry please forgive me...
But now i want to do is..
To redo my mistakes..
make it not to be a mistake thats all..
And...
Here will be the last time that i am going to mention it on my blog...
Mun arh I Love You...
forever I will until u said u no longer want to be with me anymore..
hehe dint know why i so stubborn...
If u really scare that both of us will get hurt...
Then lets try to do it this way...
Accept that each person also ada salah and find ways to fix the problem..
Can?
I dont mind u go out wif any1...
coz we sure will meet new people in life.
Just tell each other thats the correct way,
Not like last time go out also nid create so much lies..for what?
scare hurt tiok another half?
when they find out lagi hurt right?
lolx aihz...
say no lies..
but end up full of lies..
after break up lagi more lies to make us feel beta...
ok la i go finish up my work..
later night time nid to go to my workplace hope by then i wont feel dizzy...

So that i can drive properly...

Regina Kenny and Timi...

have a safe trip down to KL lor..

Dai Dai...sorry ya?

made u worried...

i'm fine..just fever i can handle it..

Think too much cause tons of problem..

beta dont think just do what our heart desires and

what that is under our control...

I finally found back my courage to tell mun...

found back my courage that I kept in the fridge for so long d..

Frozen d lor..

now going to melt it with my fever..

Now spoken out what i felt le..

Hoping for the best but..

maybe it will be the worst who knows..

I Love her thats for sure...

But i also need to get going in my life right?

Cant just stop there and think..

Continue my life...

Need to find ways to get Tons of money

Thats when I can hold up a family...

Want to Bring my future Wife go travel..

Have fun...together..just 2 of us...

or maybe 3?4?(when got babies le) lolx..

Finish with my Dreams...which i dono weather it will come true or not..

Now Get back to reality...

Work work work...lets continue...

Full of working schedule that can make me busy

Busy liao ma wont luan luan think d lor..

But sickness please go away i need to stay healthy to catch up with the schedule

THe busy busy schedule..

How I hope I can cancel everything in my schedule and go out

go out on Alot of dates with the 1 i love the most...

Hehe...

And mun arh...

How are you owh lately?

I miss u but...did u miss me?

I wana talk with you but did u want to talk with me?

I want to be with you but do you still want to be with me?

I love you still and I know u cant forget the love that we had ...

still do you love me now?

Really want to know more about u mun...

but all this need you to give a chance le..

†Man Zai†

Now only i realised...

2009-02-02T21:32:00.002+08:00

Wow... finally sick liao...haha
Fever ady... luckly just now still manage to drive home...
Well... while driving i thinked alot...
To much but all related to my beloved ex...

Now only i realise that...

All the while...

I was just lying to everyone..

lolx...

I dint let go at all...hahaha what a stubborn person right?

But then so many people there supporting me i sure say i let go d right?

If not then why i cant go tackle another girl?

lolx

I had feelings for alot of girls, but all of those feelings..

Is just a feeling of want to care them and dont want them to get hurt..

Be there for them when they are hurt..

But all this...aint love at all..

Its just...dont want to let people around me

All my friends get hurt and left behind alone....

lolx..

This Sor Lou ler...lolx What to do..

Just now nose sudd bleed that time..

Tot wan die d coz dizzy sommore driving halfway...nearly langgar just now..

haha..

Suddenly tot of writing a letter..

one for my family,

One for my ex...

and another 1 for my friends..

Hmmm well Mun arh..

Since now i still alive..

i hope to tell u that....

I love you so much i cant stop..

I did try to force myself not to love u anymore but...

It seems to be harder than i thought..

U really were the best person to be with actually,

U're gentle somewhere inside..

Always very Soft Heart but ur mouth always

always says things that u dint want to sumtimEs..

Well I know why i not dare to tell u that i want to be with you ady...

Because i guess that(just guessed la) that u ady have another person in ur heart...or maybe not..

But i still hope that we can be the 1 that i'd always hoped for?(Being with a person loving her for the rest of mylife?) i want to fulfill my promise...will you let me to fulfill it?

Now i only know why these few days it came back the stupid awkward feelings..

But then mun arh if u got another person in heart now..just let me know owh..

I will forget that i need to love you till the day i die if u want me to...

I will Support and wish u all the best with da person who is in ur heart now...

I was wrong in the past...alot of people dint know what i did wrong but i did..

Sorry ya? please forgive me....

But i guess all of this is too late ady? or still early? who knows...

I finally still dint dare to read your blog ler...lolx i hope by tomorrow i will..

Now i lying on bed like dead pig aneh...

Cannt do much thing d...

Want to do also body ache and head very heavy..

I did hope that u are by my side taking care of me...like i did when u were sick..

but then...i think its too late for that...

If there were hope...i would appreciate it now...

If there werent hopes, i would really get hurt one last time..

And really get on with my life..

I dont want to live a life with full of lies..

I cant forget how u used to smiled... how u said that i love you...

How u kissed me..

Sor Lou hoh?

But then its good that now i understand why the awkward feeling that i gave u that time...

Well....time pass it dint heal anything also...makes it worst like Jay Chou said. in the song Cai Hong... Time is a poison that i am consuming..

lolx..its not an antidote..

If now ur friends and my friends read this ..

For sure they will be mad..

But i want to write this down..i scare i kena denggi..then die jor...no chance to write d...

For those girls that i have been caring..really hope to be ur kor kor..

lolx

For those friends that have been caring for me in this period of time..

Thanks ya? and regina..i really was over fired of hatred with this Miss Farah

Got to admit lolx...coz she sucks but she did not

reserve to get those valguar words...

Sorry ya?regina..

and my family they also did support me..

Thanks ...

i beta go sleep d feel like dying aneh...hope tomorrow can get better..

Nitezz

Dai Dai thanks owh...for everything...

hehe

U're always the best cousin i can have in the world..

hehe really love you so muchy..(as a cousin hope nobody gets confuse)

I sleep 1st la...nitezz tonight sleep early again lolx...

† Man Zai †

Whats wrong with me these few days...

2009-02-02T00:24:00.003+08:00

Its been few days this stupid feelings come back.....
but i guess its normal i think...lolx
Hmm
Suddenly this came to my mind pass few days...
What if i ask mun arh...now i have found back myself le...
Can we still be together?
LOL funny huh?
why i suddenly have this though?i also dono..
But i've been dreaming bout her again...
its been 4 days this feelings have been bothering me

Love her really is sumthing i wont forget..

lolx love until now still aneh...

When break that time...alot of friends ask me let go...

including her friend that i seek for advice...Vickie...

Well i did let go...for that timE...

And did really get use to it when shes(mun) not around

but then why suddenly this feeling of want to be wif her come back again?

Whats wrong with me?

Izzit I think to much...?

Just now msn that time want to ask her that question....

(mun arh...now i have found back myself le...
Can we still be together?)

lolx..but eventually i dint..

Maybe i think that she got sum1 ealse in her heart d gua..

Until now since the day we seperated and she ask me go read her blog..

the last time was November 23...

Until now i dint dare to go and read her blog...LOL!!!

What the hell is wrong with me...

Stupid huh this Man Zai..really like sor lou..

lolx... dumb dumb lai..

Think soo much for what..

Assignment must finish also stuck coz of this..

Why ...am i stupid? or stubburn? or both ....

Well got a girl i tot i can get going ady...

She asked me weather she is qualified to be my gf or not.. Rin.. sorry ya? i rejected

Coz i really still dono what the hack am i thinking..

LOL relationship this thing really will lead to horror experience but...

i really scare that i will lose another person again...

Really really am afraid of getting

my heart broken into trillion pieces like it happened b4...

Really am scared...lolx but then...

I can live but still thinking like a donkey...lolx

OK now here i ask la...if mun got read it then if she wan reply reply lor if not nvm..

Joel: Mun arh...now i really found back myself d....sorry ya in the past..

Can we still be together?

Mun: ???

Ok finish asking i beta get going on my assignments..

Got exam soon lolx cant stop here..

coz time wont stop for me to worry, scare or think...

It will stop when memories are created..

it will stop when life ends...

It will stop when its carved into our brain...

but it wont stop when we worry, think too much, or even luan luan think...

K lar wish all those people who broke up with their another halves can be back together

Get a better 1...

I want to get a better one? or want to be back wif her(Mun)? Lolx..

Complicated mind beta dont think then nothing will happen right?

Ya thats right now dont think..

Just think on my assignment and work...

Ok decide d..beta faster go do if not later think again..

Then stuck again lolx

Thanks dai dai for being there to teman me...but u also go oi oi earlier lor...hehe

† Man Zai †

Exhousted day...

2009-02-01T03:20:00.004+08:00

1st here i must apologies to those people who msn me and i did not manage to reply them...
Sorry ya?
I went to climb up the Balik Pulau mountain(my aunts house)
Walk whole way up was too tired....
Slept last night around 9pm...lolx
too early also haha so sorry ya?

Yesterday early mornin, went to take my breakfast....

then go fix my car.

Finally my car is fixed....

then afternoon went to my aunts house..

Knowing need to climb up da mountain to reach...

but i treat it as an exercise

Hoping can walk up without stopping ...

but still stopped twice...

lolx too tired i guess

But success liao la...just stopped twice

last time walk half way ady like want to die d..

Now? Can climb up reach there time so happy..

haha but leg used up alot of str lor...hehe

Night time reach home accompany my dad go see doct...

He fall sick...Wish my dad can get well soon...

then reach home time around 9pm..

Was tired like hell...

really like hell lie down on bed nia...

i think not more then 1 min doze off d..

haha

thats why now i felt so sorry dint reply all the msn....

well hope they'd 4giv me...hehe

Ok la...i beta continue sleep then just 3am now...lolx so early wake up pula..

haha...nitezzz

†Man Zai†

Updates updates...

2009-01-27T01:37:00.003+08:00

Hmm its been awhile since i have time to blogging ady...
Lately i've been done alot of thinking...
Thinking weather is it good to express my feelings to the girl now?
Thinking weather is it a good time to be her bf now?
lolx... all of it made me now dont want to tell her...want to help her instead...lolx
But then Its CNY what for i think so much...

Happy Chinese New Year Guys and girls,

i am Planning on how to Maximize my ang pao...

LOL must get TOns of it...lolx

Trying to la atleast

Tomorrow need to go up and down of whole Penang Island so..

Now i beta go rest d la..

and err...hmmm i think i miss out 1 thing..

Very important 1..

Dai dai's blog link...i lost it...zzzz

Wat am i doing lately..think too much d la...cham

lolx

Life really bored me..

But i made my life much more livelier then before..

Must stay focus when we do things..

Must concentrate well enough..

Must keep on IMPROVING...

and most important thing..

Must live happily, coz Life is short..

Enjoy while we can..

Work hard to show the people that we can..

And live a life with no regrets...

Although there are some regrets ady..

But will try my best to not regret anymore...

Regret on my ex...

Regret on thoese stupid thoughts that made me single back....

But all these regrets....made me grow i guess...

lolx atleas now i know what my target is..

I wan to hit a Big 1 and take the total to clear my dad's debt...let him live a stressless life...

Then now trying to earn as much Side income as possible

Hmm what ealse...oh ya who wana find me buy house or sell house..

All i will charge comision la...only 1.8% wont be much...

lolx

Beta go rest d...anyway

Mun arh... Happy Chinese new year le...

Wish u can get tons of ang pao's and...wish u really can be happy all the time..

Please dont keep on rush or go blank mode when u chat or talk wif me k? lolx

When u dont have anything to talk to me that time,

i think u should be doing Tons of thinkings la..

Anyway...enjoy ur trip back at ur home town lor...

Dai Dai thanks for everything owh.....

Tian...cheer up la...

lately so quite and try to figure out why lor if u felt u are being left out...

lolx..actually we dint left u out is just u felt it that way...

And.. Sze Yee...hmmm wish u can get Tons of ang paos also...

so that after CNY can go paksa u treat me 1 meal lolx...(jk jk)

haha...

All my friends please enjoy CNY also k?

Hmm Boss (Mr Eddie)...wish u can have a splendid time wif ur daughter...in this CNY

All friends who is going out from Penang please have a safe trip...

And i will be back for the Pictures that i capture this CNY...will try to capture alot la...

Hehe

†Man Zai†

Wahh... These few days so many things happen...

2009-01-16T01:22:00.002+08:00

Wednesday Morning i kena accident...still alive thou...
On that day...when i tot i was going to die..(although the feeling was just split second)
The 1st person who pop up in my mind was....(someone now i had feelings for)
Lolx... tot i would die without letting her know how i felt about her...
Luckly i am still alive...but still i see my life in a different way now..

These few days i dont have car to use so need to depend on family and friends

Felt so sorry for my parents and friends who have worried about me...

Thanks for caring about me...

I really appreciate it..

But very sorry ya? for making you all worry...

I am fine...

Last night I suddenly want to be back wif My Ex..

LOL how stupid i was...haha

Cried for the night...tot dont even haf da chance to say BB ad

Then just my stupid thinking la...haha

Then now ok liao lor..

Wish me luck on da girl I have strong feelings now...

I really hope my wish for this year can come true...haha

and da girl is her...

(cant tell name yet)

Today was so shocked when i saw my ex in Bandar Baru supermart

LOL.... saw tiok her..dono why i felt so bad...haha

maybe its coz of what i have done to her gua....

But thanks to her oso i found back myself...

I also tak tao how i feel now..

Just wana get on wif my life..

Hope to be wif da one i had feelings for gua....

But i dont think she will accept me oso la...haha

So just wait and see how lor...

Accident that day so teruk...

Reach balai kena scold d....

Reach working so stress....

Reach home kena lecture....

Wow...great day...no other day will be more worst then that day d...

Its 14 Jan that day...

Will never forget that day...my 1st day kena accident

But good to have such experience

Luckly still manage to celebrate the birthday wif Wendy..

Sorry ya Wendy its ur Birthday and my Accident day..lolx

Hehe sorry made u all so worried...

No Next time promise myself d...

Now need to go to sleep d...

get enuf rest tomorrow got so many things to do

I want to watch

INK HEART and UNDERWORLD and also the DRAGON BALL...evolution!!!

†Man Zai†

Nice Birthday Party...lolx

2009-01-10T01:22:00.002+08:00

Watched Bedtime Story..then what? lolx nothing lor actually
Hmm found out that Mandy ady forgot got my existant d lor...haha
So I beta not forget her...
Will remember her forlife i think
coz my 1st love what to do..
But looking forward for a new love..
Hope can get it...hehe

Hmmm

So these few weeks damn busy...

working abo go outing wif friends abo le jiu birthday's celebrations

Tomorrow going to my good girl eh house its her birthday le..lolx

Alot of friends will be there...

Then wednesday another 1..LOL

wan ki xiao also cannot arh

Assignment pilling up d...

Wow...what a new year...

But i like the challenge..

Trying to earn some income...

Finding Loop Holes...

Hope can manage to get atleast 5k per month...

Target la atleast...

Then apa MLM i also don wan liao la...haha

Use my brain and myself enuf..

Relation yes use but not using it like MLM...

somehow its actually a fair business but...

I dislike the style they are doing it actually

Gona get my new house hoping by 3 years time...b4 i reach 25...

Then hopefully can get merried to a 100% devoted wife lor...at the age 25...lolx

B daddy like around 28?

then 30 that time start to plan for my retirement liao...haha

The HSBC eh diao dint get in...lolx

But Regina group did GRATZ...

Wish them all the best...

Must get 1st Guyzzz

K lar i beta go sleep d...tomorrow got tons of things to do

lolx

†Man Zai†

Finally going to STEP towards 20...

2009-01-04T10:57:00.002+08:00

Its so fast that i have been in this year for 20 years already...
Still remember the time when i was a kid,
What also dont know....
But free from worries and all sort of stuffs
now...
I am working,
responsibles all comming up..
Even troubles and worries come and find me..
but luckly I got all my friends and family...
also love ones to help me out...
I can manage to get through...
I will learn in every process...

But at here i will state it down 1st..

I WONT ADMIT THAT I AM 20

BEFORE the time REACHES 6.53PM!!

BECAUSE i was born at that time...lolx

So Better enjoy my LAST TEEN's time..

Spend more nvm 1...

lolx just enjoy la....

coz today is the day that I was born to Earth

Oh ya...Happy Birthday owh Jie...(Shirley)

Hmm later go eat lunch then go movie liao...

dono how eh da feeling

Last night that KENNY made me

drive from Tate kor's house to Penang Bowl..

End up dint bowl also...just go there sit..

Then night time Drag me go play Game at CC..

sommore play till 4.00 am

walao....=.=

But luckly my family dint scold me la...

they let me go play....haha

thanks for everything all my close friends...

And Long Lost ones also...lolx

Hope to take some pictures to post here later...

But later la....see how 1st...hehe

Thanks for those who wish for me..

Really got what I hope i can get d actually..hehe

But i will wish for MORE!!!!lolx

Actually I tot Mandy will be the 1st person to wish me...

But atleast she did la...

Hehe thanks...really waited for that...

Thanks mun..

ANd must thanks to All my friends..

Regina,Kenny,Rayz,Timi,Tian,HC, Tate kor, Ah Hin.

They all have the heart to wish me...

Thanks for that...really appreciated it..

At here...My wish is and will be..

1st I wish all my friends can have their wishes come true in this year...

2nd I wish that those friends and love ones can forgive me for what i have done wrong in the past

3rd and most least....*its secret*

hehe

†Man Zai†

Wow...so fast...its new year d...

2009-01-01T18:23:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year to all my friends...loved ones and...also family...
Well how i passed the NEw Year? I went working la ofcourse...
then go bowling with a Long Lost Friend....lolx
My secondary school friend...
Long time dint see but was so suprised she knew bout me..LOL
But then now all was just history...haha

New Year New Life...New Job sommore...

Got Promoted i guessed...

Alot of things to do now...

Have to ada Umph... Have SPIRIT...

Since its new year...

Let me at here hope for New GF...

New Lifestyle...

New Job environment

New Responsibility...

New everything...

Most importantly...an Improved me..

My efficiency level must increase

My performance must increase...

I cant keep on let my friends down by just simply

CANT WAKE UP in the morning..

I Must take off all the bad stuff(habbits) that i have ..

Place some new stuff in...lolx

(like changing the Innerpart of a body)

Must improve on knowledge as well..

Try to do my best...and this time..

Must make sure...dont over the limit...

Cant then cant dont force liao..

Dont try too hard d....

Life's like a scatch book, if we scatch wrongly,

we can make a diff by changing it...

But when we broke the scatch paper,

its a HUGE mistake i mean,

we must not tear it off...

We must learn from it..

Learn on why we break it...

where went wrong...

I've learn mine...

A Hard 1...

3 MAjor and millions of it is minor...

But then...

mistakes is wat that makes us grow i guess..

Really hope that if i got a chance...(talking about my love life)

I would really do it right this time...

If time were to walk back to let me correct my mistakes..

I would do anything to get it..

But it seems not worth it anymore..

The person that i once loved...

I cannot 100% say that she does not think about me anymore..

But all i can say is that...

The way she treats me..She HATES me....

Well since she did so...

I mean atleast what i felt it is...

Then i think should be a good thing to forget me...

A Jerk...lolx

Being myself is what i learn from this love..

Dont Try Too hard...

And when time comes, Just let go...

Dingling around is not a good choice...

Well...Now...

New Year New Start

Everything is new now...

Looking forward for my New Life...

Hope to get a New Love...i mean as in 4ever type..

LOLX...

What to do... Life will never go the way we wanted...

Thats all i can say...

But we human did our best to reach what we wanted..

Thats what that make our life's memories so Precious....

And I really appreciated all memories that i've created in the past 19 years...

Thanks all my friends and also...

mun thanks...

for all the memories..lessons....and... Love

New 1 Begins...going to be APEK soon liao...

Hahaha Dai Dai not comming to celebrate My Big Big Day....

which is LEAPING towards 20 this sunday....

The Day luckly I was Born on 6.53PM...so i wont be 20 until that TIME!!! lolx..

Celebration continues and finished when i am still 19...TEEN~~~~

Enjoy The New Year

All my Friends...

Sorry for all the mistakes that i have made in the past...

Please forgive me for my stubborness.. and Stupidity

Looking forward for this Sunday's event...

And Happy NEW YEAR to Every Reader that comes by...

Wish all my friends and family

Will Get what they wanted This New Year...

Goku zai,...Man Zai...now back on track!!

2008-12-26T17:23:00.002+08:00

Finally that stupid feelings went off liao...wakakakaa
Hmmmnn... well its been awhile now got the fighting SPIRIT BACK ON TRACK d...
OK...start to plan for my Finance for next year later...(around 6pm like that)
Tonight will plan everything for next year liao..
CANT WAIT for the time to pass
Actually miss all the time when i am wif my friends and so on...
Last night...a long lost friend sudd phone me...
lolx she asked me go to a place(wah...to me like sumhow Heaven) coz all leng lui...
lolx its a new place just open not long ago by her cousin's family

The environment is nice..sooner or later will make sure i bring my friends there...

Hehe....so energetic now...

New year New life New...experience...lolx

K lar stop here beta get starting d...

Lonely~ Lonely Night~

2008-12-23T22:09:00.002+08:00

Walao..today hor i tell you all..
I DAMN SIEN!!!!!!! stuck at home....
Then then....whole family go Funaral...
I SO damn lonely...
Bought a new phone tomorrow going to get it...

My day for tomorrow should be a great day..

Getting my New phone S.E C902

Getting back my car...PROTON...which went to garage

Going to nowhere...coz no program tomorrow damn sien...

Tonight so lonely tomorrow try to do sumthing lor..

Maybe go exercise...work out

Abo i so fat..walao...=.=

alot ppl dono how to quote me..

When infront of me..

Wana quote me FEI ZAI(scare hurt my feelin)

Quote me BIG eh...also paiseh..

haihz i so zialat i beta cut off my meats and petrol in my body liao lor....

Back to my topic..

Cant wait for tomorrow...

Although morning need to go funeral...

But should be a great day right?

Felt so sad when i heard my great aunt pass away..

But then...who will live forever?

I felt that living in this world...somehow..

Its a test for us before we go..(go as in die la)

so...i will do my BEST from now...

Waiting for the day to come

(the day i meet another girl who can steal my heart)...

Merry Christmas to all my friends and family...

†Man Zai†

A great day...turn out not what i aspected...lolx

2008-12-21T23:21:00.002+08:00

Early morning woke up then go church d lor...
After church go lunch then got home...
Relax awhile watching anime and chattin wif regina..
Then suddenly..lolx something regina sent me too attractive liao
LOL...then i went search for more...
But end up like that lor..

Today tot that the party is nice or what eh..

Mana tao...walao all auntie uncle nia...wt...zzzz

nvm lor...leave that place sommore so late....

Really kena BIG 1 from my mom...zzzz

but nvm la after all i reach home in one piece liao..

Hmmm tomorrow going to pass something to sum1..

Then got to take my car go fix da door and so on liao..

Hope wont cost too much...hehe

Well i beta go rest now tata...

What a day...

2008-12-21T01:44:00.004+08:00

Early morning woke up so late..missed the badminton...
afternoon went lunch
then settled some issue then after that
I went to the singing again..

Singing really is what i like the most i think

But then...

I finally got the courage to tell what and how i felt

To the person I once loved the most..

Hmm actually was thinking that...

We can still be together..

(that was last month)

But then after da insident...

And the way how she treated me..

I started to think and consider what all my friends and family

have been tellin me..

Although really its hard at 1st for me..

And I still hope she cared for me..

But she wont la...

I know her heart got another person d..

Well wishing for her will never be enough i guess...

Hmm..

But then mun arh...loving you was not a mistake...

Its fate that bring us together...

Just decision was made by us... not by fate..

I got to admit here...I loved her till that day...

she started treating me like that

I cant blame her for that also

Coz i really changed..

She felt so fake when she's with me..

I must understand that..

but thanks to her also i realise how fake i was..

I was totally not myself...

Then i realise...that time

I was not in love...

But obsess...lolx

hmmm

Well now that I have expressed my feelings..

And i know she wont tell anything to me even if she wants or have...

Because she will think that she might hurt me again or maybe hurt herself...

I hope she'd told me...atleast i can have a know...

Ok then back to square 1...Single and available..

My life now...is to work and enjoy what i am doing..

And mun arh...

I wish that you can somehow...

be with the person that you love now..

Hmm make sure both of you are happy owh...

K lar..if can keep in touch if u dont want I wont force eh...

Tomorrow is Sunday d...

Got tons of things to do...

Night time got event...dont know want to go or not also...lolx

This xmas i think i will be going trough a lonely night bah...alone...

Hope that good things will happen this year...(i mean xmas)

Wish ALL the best

for all my friends, family and loved one's and

also those that i loved b4..

Merry Christmas..

†Man Zai†

What a day...but i enjoyed it instead of complaining it...lolx

2008-12-18T23:28:00.002+08:00

Today so suay...morning go cut hair...(hair dresser not there SEAN)
then after that go find my friend after leaving Prangin(Kena Saman sommore white LEG eh)
RM 300 fly....T.T
Wat the...nvm lor..
Working that time so tired...TERTIDUR sommore
Luckly awhile nia
I keep on slap myself...

At night we went calorine with the Gang..lolx

Such a fun thing to do...

I love calorin but the santa i cant make it

COz of what?

Coz of my time that i set accordingly to MR Bernard gave me..

He said Wednesday...so i arrange all my things at tuesday...

Then suddenly he say tuesday...

I told him straight away i cant...

He insist on wanting me can..

I said to him SIR i try k?latest what time i can go?

He said? TWO PM...u can cabut d..

then i ma tell him sir...tomorrow Rehersal only righT? ok then i try make it on 2

After all my adjustment made...i made it on 1pm

Now he so angry about me...

He tot i ditch him...

Sir i hope u understand..

I liked to be santa actually but i really cant make it...

Next semester i going to see him...

hope he wont be so angry...

Calorin this thing..is just havin fun

I dint join any CLUB because they asked...

I join because i want to find things to do...

I want to stop thinking of things that i dont want..

I want to relax and have fun..

Mr B... if u read this u will understand more...

†Man Zai†

Da day when i bcame a SLAVE for Miss Cheryl

2008-12-18T08:35:00.003+08:00

A Crime that Pinky(JunJong) Made: Poking the property of Miss Cheryl

When he(Pinky) was Jailed due to the crime he did...

Pinky, Jessie and Sheuely working on the things that we SLAVES have to move

Pinky, me Sheuely and Jessie working hard as a Slave..

Working like a COW...Miss Cheryl..this is how hard we work as A SLAVE...lolx...

Wow today so lame woke up that morning was so energetic and doing stuff

But then...something happened in between

Luckly da conflic have pass d...

Conflict wif my granny...

Actually was my mistake,

coz i told a lie...

I lied to my granny that day..

And at night time i went to tell her i lied to her...(through the phone)

Actually is my mom who phoned me that night...

then end up she open loud speaker...

then sommore my granny next to her...=.=

i confess the lie i told to my mom...

Then..ma die lor..

Da cold war started and ended for 1 week...

I was so stressed out thanks to that...lolx

But then back to topic of being slave...

Miss Cheryl was soo CRUEL...

I got picture as PROOF...

We worked totally like a Slave from Point A moving her stuff to to Point B.

But it is all worth it...

Atleast thanks to that i got a distink on her paper..lolx

OKOK crap less Torture pictures comming up now...

†Man Zai†

Being myself seems to be so nice...hehe

2008-12-15T19:54:00.002+08:00

Now days being myself but still dont know why i can force myself to move more then i can...
Maybe i wanted too much d...
Should i step slower abit?
Past few days i kept on work and study...
really 100% pure work and study mode
Now i got backache d...
My gastric also got worsen d..
Eat too much gastric med now BROKE liao...lolx
haha i really treat it like sweet when it pains

But ok la after eat afew then no pain le..atleast ..phew~~

Wroth the money to Pay for...

Hmm Exams...now to me like nothing...

If got study then what for scare..

Study more now...

Working really sux but still got to work if not no money like now ler...

Later maybe i got to go find kang tao again..

Broke life suckx...

But got too much money that time?

Later say become rich bastard that time?

Will i say Rich time suckx?

LOLX its just things that we dint know..

Maybe we will...or should i say

Maybe i might...

In the past i say i dont want single life..

But now i am enjoying single life...

In future maybe when i want a gf?

But i also not sure now dont know weather i want to go for it

Or just stay like this...

Lolx... blur case huh...

nvm liao la just study 1st la..

When it comes...sure will be fine...

Make sure i wont go get over obsess of girls..

If not i will just lose myself...

Like When i love mun...

At 1st really love slowly bcome obsess..

LOL thats not love anymore...its OBSESS..

i dont want that to happen again..

I sux huh? maybe i just need time to understand and make my mind clear..

K then i going to Tate's place now...STUDY!!! PIA TILL THE END...

Thanks tatt...without u i think i might lost myself long long time ago...

LOL

Thanks all my friends, Kenny, Regina, Tian, Rayz, Timi and TONS of them more.... thanks

Family will always come 1st...

Friends comes second...

Lovers comes 3rd...

LOL

I say here now but when i got gf time the thing sure change 1..lolx

K lar...at here My Xmas Wish is that...

All the girls that I loved the most b4...

Please stay as happy as possible...

Please Enjoy ur life...

Must find da right person owh although i know its not me...

LoL...

And for all my friends around me...

If need help find me...

If got info share wif me...

If got Kang Tao..share wif me also la..lolx

Merry Christmas Guyz and Gurlz.....

ANd a Happy New Years...

†Man Zai†

Took me quite awhile, Now must get back on TRACK d...

2008-12-06T21:27:00.003+08:00

Lew Kit Mun, a girl once i loved so much that i cant let go, finally i let go d...
hmmm took me quite awhile..

After all this things including friends,

now although got issues

but still this should be the things that i have to understand learn and grow right?

Well having a feeling for another person does not means that for sure the person likes u coz...

it might be a feelings one side only.

And loving a person does not means that we must be wif them together...

Mun now got new person in her heart d...

I got mine too...

But why we both still single?

lolx i dont think she will be single for long.

But i think i will...for another few months? years?

Who knows..

Better enjoy my life now...if not later got gf time only regret arh...lolx

Now i know why i appreciated love so much....

I also understand why i so scare and what i am scared of loving another person after the breaking....

Loving does not only have the sweet sweet things its not a dream or wanderland, in this world as a fact, love hurts more then anything but at the same time we appreciate it and we grow on it.

The previous love i lost its because i lost myself...

thats why i lost my love.

We must be who we are...

What for we change for the sake of other people?

Why cant we just be the way we are??

I mean for me ofcourse....lolx..

From today onwards i will have to change back d..

Regina thanks ya? for that day's phrase

Made me realise what i have lost for long time ago...hehe

Thanks to all my friends that cared for me....

Hmmm i was tired in the past now no more..

I know that i got so many friends that cared for me...

So i beta look after my own actions and start to care for myself liao lor.

Must not try too hard on everything, coz u just need to try ur best thats enough

Dont over do it, like i did all the time

Its time i try things more easily not too hard..

Not to force myself too much also...

But now need to force myself for FA2 exams on tuesday

Tate, Lets Fight Till The End of THE(exam)

lolx...

K lar will FIGHT for my exam on tuesday...

TOnight i fight for the knowledge that i left behind...

Those girls that i had loved b4...

please stay happly everyday,

make sure u remember to smile k?

Those friends that cared for me all the while...

thank you guyzz very much...

and also do remember to smile everyday k?

Those friends who got issue or problems

i will be here for u,

As an (smiling gas machine or a wall for u to scream at)

just let me know k?

Home issue sattled,
friendship issue understand and working on it,
love issue stop thinking about it d...
so now study issue FIGHTING FOR IT now...

†Man Zai†

Wow...after finishing my works and responsible..

2008-11-27T00:47:00.002+08:00

Its already 1am now...WT...lolx
Early early morning RUSH down to fetch my uncle at the Bus station
They came from Johore...
I am so bad...dint get to spend time with them
Hope my grandma wont scold me anymore..

so tired...damn tired now..

Wanted to sleep now lolx but bfore that i wana type this out

Well kinda fall for a girl now...finally got the feelings d...HAhaha

Can smile laugh and joke around d

But then....

Now really scared...

Hope i still can make the 1st move but..

Still beta if the girl move 1st..

haha dont know she notice it or not

But then better like this bah...

Better if she dint notice also

I wont hurt any girls if i dint go think

Let time tell me what to do then

After all now food part for the apartment kao dim

LOL nearly kena SLASHED by a CANTONESE Cooks...

RM 220??!!!! WT...

My quotation same things only 9x at my place...

But too far now got another 1 near the Apartment

GET HOW MUCH u guess??

Its HAKKA place

U GUESS SEE???

115...lolx

hahahaha

Nice job...but then something funny...

(Negotiating time Small Sweet Lick told me)
[i try to negotiate see can cheaper or not]

LOL in the end she just did was like [har? my dad always come one wor..cant get cheaper meh??]

Anene he honest liao only earn us 2x what ealse more we want...

Lolx...i straight say ok la

He also hmm ok then friday take

Paid him RM 50 d...left..hmmm 65

pay them the balance when i go get those foods

Finally they also provide TRAYZ....(luckly coz we Hakka helping each other)

Tian arh u beta go learn or pick up ur Hakka...

Its ur Mother Dialect lai...zzzz

Kesian u(tian)...lolx

But if u wana learn u can start speaking it to me?

or any1 in col that knows Hakka..

Its so damn late now i beta go sleep tomorrow GRAND PResentaion lolx 50 MARKS

I beta go sleep enuf rest then prepare tomorrow then ...nitezzz...

Wow nice day today...Finally fin all assignments left Presentation

2008-11-25T23:37:00.003+08:00

Well dint felt anything also about my presentation,
Hope can finish faster also...
Finally got some good news...haha
Waited for MONTHS d...lolx

Tonight went out wif Kenny and friends for dinner...

End up once reach kenny's place nia...

he told me..LOLx i eat d...

I was like...

Wat the..zzzz

End up me and 2 more friends eat nia...i tot finding Zhu Cha mia place

Must find liao...

Well hope can get a nearer place but now ending up to go to

CAMERON!!!

lolx near my house(NEAR KEK LOK SI)

gona drive like HELL liao this friday...

Wah cant wait to go to the apartment stay.

Atlast can relax my mind and my body d...

hehe

Yay dai dai coming back d...this friday also zzz LOL

My Uncle from Johor comming back tomorrow i gona go fetch them...

Then got to go class presentation...

Then what? after class go do survays for the HSBC eh thingy..

LOL fully packed but now i know how to enjoy what i doing d

Mun..Gam Ba Teh on ur Friday Issue day owh...

Miss Cheryl Good LUCK on everything...

And the rest...hope things will end up the way it should bah...

Happy ending is the best...

K lar i go rest liao finish preparing my presentation d...

so sienzzz...

lolx

Its been awhile

2008-11-25T01:45:00.002+08:00

Time flies, its been few weeks since i started sleepless nights...
until today i still was not able to sleep due to work and assignments.
Finally body cant affort to handle this stress d...
Hair also drop not less liao...
My body is telling me i over worked my body d...
Today was suppose to help Tian do her assignment but

Type till half way..I SLEPT? unconciousely its not sleep liao

ok confront its not sleep in class.. GUYS and GIRLS i was not sleeping

I really lost my consious ... Blacked out...

Luckly come back fast enuf..

haha

I think Tian know how many times bah...its infront of her Lappie

Tate kor was right...not enuf sleep Kills...

Just now my body also felt something i lost long time ago..

My Old Wound (wakaka it came back d) lolx LONG TIME NO FEEL BRO

haha

Hope i will get enough sleep soon...

Eddie made me realise what life means to me...

I got it now SIr i will WORK MORE HARDER

HARD enough to reach ur Espectation!!!

Okay now i better go finish my last assignment then go take some rest..

I've been tortoring my body for what i wanted later must treat it well

Wish Mun can learn from her mistakes...

Wish ME can get a Better GF in the future...

Wish all friends around ME can live a life with Love and also Friendship

Being here always for all my friends...and family..

Dont know is this a feeling of like or love..

But hope its nothing...

Dont think then its nothing d

Dont want to hurt any girls anymore

But hope can meet a girl who will let me hurt..

Which i will sayang her back MORE...hahaha

Lifes like steak...

Its too cooked or its well done

All of it is controled under ur hand..

Something i realise that i have Locked it up

2008-11-17T01:00:00.002+08:00

The fruit of my Love... End like this? lolx...

All thats left...scars and memories...wounds and experience

How I hope it would rejuvunate back to how it was when it starts.....

Blooming widely...

But now its all inside a heart with wounds and scars...

The heart which is glued back from pieces and now a scar is forever there...

The Love is locked inside me forever..

A love that i will cherish for the rest my life...

Really thanks owh mun...

Now lets move forward together bah...

I think u should have a prey d gua...haha

I still searching for mine owh..

This time must make sure its for real...

Long Term relationship...

No longer crying for what is in the past...

Keep Moving Forward...

Memories is what makes us stronger...

Experience is what makes us understand and know what to do...

Love is what that give hope to our life...

Hmmm so boring lately...

Wana find things to do liao...

But this time make sure must not make myself overstress...

Must relax when my body needs..

Must do accordingly...

Must not over the limit of others and also mine...

Learn from the past...

Improve at the present...

Hope for the best in the future...

Life goes on...

Thats why i must

Get on going in my life....

The Night that makes me wana be a daddy

2008-11-16T23:22:00.007+08:00

They are soo cute

Abit blur but damn cute..and their speech was so splendid

Their parents sure Proud of them 1

Soo make me wana be a daddy..haha

They dare enough...but are we?

This are all those feelings that the kids gave me...

Cham makes me wana be a father nia...luckly now no more...wakakaka

But they damn cute...haha

This kids make me feel like what i did when i was in kindergarden

They are so cute...u dare to do what they are doing?

So Energetic today...=.=

2008-11-15T11:49:00.003+08:00

Wah last night so late meaning this morning only sleep..
Today early morning woke up go Jogging
Zialat...so hungry

After jogging wow...fetch my mom go church...

After that?!!!

really oh my god...i reach home time 11am straight collapse on my bed...

like die jor aneh straight sleep ki...now 12pm d...

Ok later i got to go Sunrise liao...

Assignment HERE I COME

Make sure today i must finish whole weeks assignments

Then The IB i think tonight go Tate's place finish it bah

dont want to waste time liao

(continue sleep awhile later 12.45 only go out) hehe

C u all there guysz.....dont fly kite can d...

Assignments arh....

2008-11-14T17:10:00.001+08:00

Waahhh so lucky pass up 1 d...
4 more to go...MUST PIA!!!!!!!!!!!

tonight after work will go do again

Must finihs it by tonight then continue tomorrow another 1

MUST START PIA D...

if not cannot wait till last minute liao

really scare....

Finally tot can rest d but still end up working and assignment

Hope when all is done I really can rest for a while ler...

Such a boring day today....

2008-11-14T16:36:00.002+08:00

Sien nia...whole day watching REBORN 50 epi finish d...
Hmmm later wana go work... but luckly today i slept the most liao
Should be enough rest d gua...
This Tian arh dint give me an answer KOK.....
Tomorrow want to have discussion but u also need to tell me what time arh...
Assignment ler...

Time flies, walao now ady 4.38 later 6pm working sien nia...

Haihz but luckly got new thigns to do...

Must rush finish all work then tomorrow assignment MODE...

Oh ya tonight have to phone Tate for our group assignment...

must remember

Then i am done now i better go and prepare to go to work

Cham watch REBORN till dint upload all the photos and movies...

Those photos and movie that I capture at Masyarakat Penyayang

The place where make me feel wana be a PAPA asap(luckly now the feeling no more)

lolx its so nice seeing so many children performing...

maybe tonight or tomorrow will post it up..

All so cute and adorable

Yet their parents...SO Handsome papa and Beautiful mama all..lolx

admire them have such a family...

OK then back to my life...

no more thinking if not the more i think the faster i will get married

LOL say only la...wont happen so fast...

no one wants me also

hahahaha

Walao..I overstress liao la...

2008-11-12T07:15:00.002+08:00

Cannot liao.. I really must find a way to Destresss
Abo really cham, now days suddenly I felt myself damn Chi Kor..
I DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!!!!
Must wake up d...
Last night my back and head damn pain

Was doing my works then also was trying to do my assignment

But end up like a SHYT

I do till half way wakao I SLEPT Jor again

Holy SHYT liao this time

Must promise myself ady

Really have to rest my body for 1 whole day after all assignments

Really must relax my body everynight after work sia

Cannot overstress myself

Must start to love myself liao

Last time say aiya NVM 1 lar..

Now say wakao really mind liao la..

Now days suddenly i so ABNORMAL jor

Friends told me d..but B4 that i realise jor walao

Wat is wrong wif me..>??!
I really hope that I am just too stress

Must relax abit liao

also must RUSH assignment....fast fast finish then good lor

dont need to think too much liao...

Thanks owh Mun...

2008-11-12T07:01:00.002+08:00

hehe... without you, maybe I cant grow up ler...
Thanks owh...for everything...
LOL.. in this life arh, you really make me realise 1 thing...
The thing which makes me grow up now...

last time whenever I saw a girl who can simply fall in love

I will say they..."Shui Xing Yang Hua"

But now...its normal la...

lolx I ady get use to it d.

Although I can tell u time did not cure anything

It just let us to get use to what we are at the time being

Well mun arh I really hope u can take out some courage to go face ur problems

Not to run away from it all the time owh...

If u keep on run away, thus will only hurt others more and more only...

U always say u wont hurt those that u love...

But I think u hurt the most eh also is the 1 that u love eh la...

Dont believe me u can ask ur X's

Anyhow, U must jia you owh... Gam Ba Teh on ur studies...

And hmmm I dono ka u about how u treat guys as,

Just hope u wont hurt anymore guys...

Hehehe.. Enjoy ur life as i did now la...

Hmm Now days still got think but not thinking about u liao lor mun...

I will think of our love... hahaha

The love that once i had for you, really was a miracle

I din't realise it until that day...hahahaha

What really happen? I dont know how to tell le...

I wana pass u a thing...the thing that all secrets that i did not tell u..

ITS INSIDE.....

But since u din't want to even find me d..

no more sms or calls...

nvm d lor..

If got chance will pass it to u but

I think u might just throw the "thing" away bah

Well anyhow just let it be...

I really hope u can get a new BF,

I hope I can get a new GF also..walao

But for now I wan to concentrate on my studies thats the most important

If got feelings then only go try liao la..

now dont have yet...

Mun arh, although I hope u can grow up also but

I think....

You wont grow so fast,

You will give a reason that u gave me b4

Its hard to CHANGE...

lolx I dint ask u to change owh...

just hope you can realise how important it is to face all the problems

Aiya later got time I must post the video ady

sommore got pictures...

ok la I better go rush my assignments now

Chiawzzz

Tired till dono how to express it out...

2008-11-09T17:14:00.002+08:00

Wah, morning after wake up and do some of the assignment straight go church
After church go where? Buy scatch Book.
Then go to Farlim's Mc D, meet Kenny and HC,walao tired but still energetic
Hahaha now sleep awhile later got to go ....

Later going to masyarakat Penyayang liao

Go there see babies...sure cute 1..haha they are going to perform i think..lolx

Hope can relax myself awhile...

This Kenny really lazy ler...haihz boh lat

Nvm liao la I concentrate on my work 1st later relax myself...

Tomorrow go coll hor...walao morning class means tonight cant too late only sleep d...

Must sleep early ady tonight...

Assignment night.....

2008-11-09T09:51:00.002+08:00

Whoa...I did my assignment till 6am this morning...LOL!!!!
What a miracle...
at 6 straight slept and now its ady 10am...
I need to rush down to church d ...breakfast bye bye....T.T..so hungry...

Zialat ler...so damn dizzy now...

Stomach empty...

Alittle bit stim now...

Thanks to Tate kor... I overnight at his place

walao... lolx but eventually finished one paper d...

Now got 3 more left...better then nothing la..

Ok then i better go now if not will be late d

Later dono dai dai what time ni wake up ler?

I so tired lor....

But cant sleep coz friends need my help later...

Yen min will come pass me his assignment coz he's going to Johore next week

After that will go down to help Kenny at 3pm then

after that will go down to Masyarakat Penyayang

There will meet Wendy..see some kids perform...hahax..

my finger wound so fast healed ady, just a scar there

End it here if not the more i type i wont stop d...hahax...

Must be ENERGETIC!!!!!!!!!!! Got power meh now? so tired...zzz lolx

Have to Nge Nge Teh also....

Gam Ba Teh everyone who is having a hardtime

Must not give up no matter what you are doing

(Except those crimes or bad things la)

I Gave up loving but wont give up finding love..

Hope will get a true love soon enough...hehe

Its time I better go then

What a PROM...lolx so tired...hahahahax

2008-11-08T11:14:00.009+08:00

See that HOLE??? OMG...its so PAIN!!!!

Thanks to Prom nite..i lost a piece of MEAT in my finger

Dint realise how pretty she was...lolx now only know...luckly snaped 1..

OMG tian feed RAYZ eat TISSUE?!!! And he ATE IT!!!

The Mr NELSON!!! Is he the Prom King?

Sob Sob me and leng lui But its BLUR!!!!

Oh my god...no comment on that..(dono why i did that)
Its so GAYISH...lolx

Group Pics..wif Fan CHIONG inside!!!

Our group which reach earlier..(where is KENNY?)

Fast take b4 they notice me taking

Me and Balles...(no la his name is Paulus) haha

Lecterur Lecterur's sekalian

The three Beauty's

This 1 too Yeng its Wayne Kor...

See? how fast i snap? lolx

Snap snap snap keep on snap only lolx

Fast snap before they notice

Before i reach...wif my stupid hair done...

WORKING working working

thats all I know? ofcourse not la...

But i have work myself till 3am just now...slept for 3 hours

This morning went to jogging wif Tate and Wayne...so shiok..

Lots of leng lui!~!

hahahaha what to do...got leng lui sure see mia...

Hahaha but then so damn boring..cant talk wif them

But nvm will have the chance one...

So damn tired...finish jogging and walking up the hill

around 9 plus reach home

Walao...bodyache...haha overworked myself d

Must sleep just now slept awhile

now its 11.30 woke up..

transfering files from phone to pc then post pics now...lolx...

Will POST ALOT!!!!

dai dai..hope u can see it here..

What i took in prom...lots of leng lui took picts wif me.

(was suprised when they asked me to take wif them)

Coz i tot nobody will notice me d..haha

Well i did ask several to take wif me..will list it down later..hahax

Hmm dono why when saw mun mun...maybe she too beautiful d gua..

No comment jor...i become speechless this time...hahaha

Not her being speechless liao

Well I did enjoyed until she made me worried in the night =.= (she went clubbing)

She sure enjoyed it just hope to see she's fine...haha

But then nvm la...haha must not worry for her too much abo i will be suffering

ok back to topic..

PICTURES!!!!!!

okok i will start post now...TAKE A PEEK ON what i made!!!

The pictures are all above...hehe

Oh no....SO many Blur picts...i filter d...sob sob...

†Man Zai†

Realise one thing when i am in for this love...

2008-11-07T16:51:00.002+08:00

I'd realise that when we love a person we cannot care for them over...
We cannot love them too much...
We cannot think of them too much...
All of this will create disaster..

I would rather have a normal love...

I will sacrifice abit..but not as much as i did in the past...

I would be careful on how to care for a girl...

I will now know that how much i must put on a love..

How much is the limit for caring them...

Everything is a limit...

Thanks mun... after alot of thinking again...u made me realise

That love...is something we must know when to start..

When to stop...
When to do...

When not to do...

Nice learning this from you...hehe..

Sorry i was being so stupid and stubborn in the past...

LOL..

hmmm Its PROM dude...

Lets have fun...

Promise Dai Dai must take Lots of picture to let her see..hahax..

Hmm must take plenty of it put at my blog tomorrow....but tonight still have to work

WORK work work ...

Cham liao la I become Workaholic ady cannot cannot

I must not change because Mun Mun dont want me...

ALthough i treat her as everything when she treat me just as an option...

I must learn from this love...

Must not treat a girl as everything when she treats u just as an option..

Must treat all girls as an option until the girl treats u as everything then only treat her as everything

Must improve...people improve i must to....

Hahaha realise is not a bad thing at all..

Understand is a must

But must not always stays inside lies...

Because ONE lie...need TEN others to cover..

How many lies can we create?

How many things can we cover?

hahaha lifes without lies is impossible but

Life with pure white lies thats enough..

Ok its time i am going to Prom d...Hope to meet up with better girls...hahahaha..

Not to say mun is bad...shes a good girl...just her heart no longer have me inside...

Must find a girl with the heart inside me and make Sure i have feelings for her...hahahaha

Ok then C Yall ....hope to get plenty of picture tonight....

San Goku BACK TO RO!!

2008-11-07T08:38:00.002+08:00

lolx.. Its been awhile ..

All my Guild mates...BRO's!!!!!

i will be back SOON but this time i will have to rebrush all my skills..

Its been awhile suddenly my bro come out Weh goku wana play RO?

lolx...syar long time no chat i will come dont worry LETS lap the players like we did last time

ahahahhaha....

Miss old timers.

Hope can still mantain what i kept last time

Today (6.11.2008)

2008-11-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

Wah today early morning woke up keep on go here and there then end up at coll...

Hmmm its time for me to continue mylife...

i cant just stop here to keep on depress just because mun mun love another guy right?

I must find a better girl to replace her?

But i need time...

I need time to let me get better and use to when talk to mun...

hope i can talk heart to heart wif her but...seems dono why cant..

Now can d..

Nobody will read myblog until i post it right?

I will start letting people know what i wana post d....

Its mylife to start...

Goodbye mun...hope still can be friends...lolx

Well dono which 1 to go for this time...so many people...why dont just let it be?

Let time and god to decide d...i dont want to go for it d...waste of time str and ..energy

Life ......life......life

Lolx...Its finished...

2008-11-06T23:47:00.001+08:00

Time to have a new start

Start to give up on mun mun lor...

Ady given up, hahahhaa

hmmmnn will know how and try to be myself..

Hope can be myself when i am with her...

Life is such a misery,

Life always have to face truth eh?

Truth hurts right?

Lolx i'd rather get the truth rather then get lied full face allover me.

Past is experience that made me grow...

Future is the path that i am going to walk on...

Present is where i must do my best on to get a better result in doing anything..

I will stop SYN liao..

Really dislike the feelings when with them...the feeling so fake when i am with them..

Join it because of mun mun actually...

Hahaha well her sis should killed me by then..

She asked for money means mun mun told her she's finish loving me..

hope she wont hurt more person in the future...

I will start to go my single life liao la...

Hmmm so boring when last time used to spend time to be with mun mun..

Now just alone damn boring...

hahahaha

Well its nice to know something that i can learn from this love...

but all i can say is no PAIN no GAIN right?

Lets move on bah...she keep on her happy life...just me sometimes gets depressed by her...lolx..dono why

Must get on with my life...if not will only dissapoint Vickie nia...

Alll effort mun mun have been doing to let me stop lovin her...haha

cannot waste their effort...

Will continue la my working and so on...

Blogging will be here also..haha

Get on Going with My Life

Its been 4 months

Hi People's Lets Smile More^.^

我喜歡你、但我不敢愛你

180Degree Change in My Life..

Its goin to be end of June now..

Things that i've done past few weeks..

Insomnia

Injuries...

Tired but ...

Welcome Back ....

Time flies...

Welcome Back Joel

Let me stop pin pointing...

† Well its not the way i wanted but its wat she wanted †

† Trying to get an ordinary love while fighting for an extraordinary income †

† Unconciously became a burden to somebody important †

† How i hope you were there †

† I just dont want to interfere anymore †

† A Lesson learned †

My mind was currupted until now...

† The pain we both are facing now... †

† I'll give it a try... †

† Paralyzed today..luckly still can manage to sms †

† A love which comes at the wrong timing †

A wierd dream in deed...

A situation which I am lost...

A day which i will never forget...

Day 4

Day 3 here it goes..

Well day 2... its more suffering then i'd thought it will

If i'd just realize...

Last time and now....

† The symbols... †

Heartache huh? lolx wat la me...

What a Mess start but not bad the ending..lolx

WOrking life started since 1st of July Sales (M.R.E.T)

Camp pictures pictures...

Nice camp..Nice expereince.. and also a unforgettable one..

What a day today was...

A months or so?

Purposely or not purposely?

February 14...

Past few days of rejections...made me decide ady

Fever never gone down...

Now only i realised...

Whats wrong with me these few days...

Exhousted day...

Updates updates...

Wahh... These few days so many things happen...

Nice Birthday Party...lolx

Finally going to STEP towards 20...

Wow...so fast...its new year d...

Goku zai,...Man Zai...now back on track!!

Lonely~~~ Lonely Night~~~

A great day...turn out not what i aspected...lolx

What a day...

What a day...but i enjoyed it instead of complaining it...lolx

Da day when i bcame a SLAVE for Miss Cheryl

Being myself seems to be so nice...hehe

Took me quite awhile, Now must get back on TRACK d...

Wow...after finishing my works and responsible..

Wow nice day today...Finally fin all assignments left Presentation

Its been awhile

Something i realise that i have Locked it up

The Night that makes me wana be a daddy

So Energetic today...=.=

Assignments arh....

Such a boring day today....

Walao..I overstress liao la...

Thanks owh Mun...

Tired till dono how to express it out...

Assignment night.....

What a PROM...lolx so tired...hahahahax

Realise one thing when i am in for this love...

San Goku BACK TO RO!!

Today (6.11.2008)

Lolx...Its finished...

Lonely~ Lonely Night~